in speech is imperative. I don't think one can ever or should ever compromise on good speech.
Imagine someone speaking to us--
We're all noodle heads, and we all process what we hear, differently.
For some of us listeners, the words ping head on and we respond off the top of our heads, usually without thinking.
With some of us, the words cause all the noodles to go into a spin, and if we respond right away, chances are we will quickly regret what we say.
If we allow the spin to settle into a pattern, but do not allow for a little space, our understanding of what we have heard would probably allow us to give some sort of reasonable response, which, on later mulling, we would wish we could change/take back/rephrase.
Some of us who allow our mind to think clearly about what we have heard, after the noodle spin settles, the response is likely to be a carefully chosen one. We choose, with care, delicacy, and tact, the words we want to use and the tone of voice, and see to it that the meaning of what we are trying to say is clear with no undertones, or dark overtones, or innuendos, or hidden meanings.
And this last, is like music...
To paraphrase Hazrat Inayat Khan's teaching: 'Each individual composes the music of his own life; if he injures another he breaks the harmony and there is discord in the melody of his life,' so also, the words we use should not cause any kind of discord in the harmony of the life of the person we are talking with, concurrently keeping the melody of our life intact.
We have the freedom to choose how we want to speak. Question is are we using this wonderful freedom to make our speech beautiful or are we just going on as we are, hiding behind a 'Take it or leave it' stance. The point is not about taking it or leaving it, the point is about not causing dissonance in the general environment, or a harsh jarring in someone's life-harmony, and at the same time not totally jangling up our own life-harmony...