30 August 2017

3 things one must never say...

to the young:

1. When I was young....in our time.....when I was your age.... How times have changed...

2. I've sacrificed so much for you... Is this what I get in return...

3. I never got a chance to do something I wanted to do.....go see places I've always wanted to....live my dream.....have the career I wanted..... Now I'm making all this possible for you.....

Putting this kind of huge pressure on the young only ends in distress for both - the one who makes these statements and the one to whom these are made. We really cannot lay any kind of emotional hold on any person, especially on the young even if they are our children.

We, each one of us, old and young, have to flower in our own gardens...

15 August 2017

I came across this...

piece of African wisdom:

Hold but do not grasp.

How incredibly wise! And believe me, while thinking about this and meditating on it, I realized how true it is.....in every single circumstance of life and in every single challenge life puts in our way.

Not only is this statement absolutely true, but it works... I'm pulling out everything that has come my way and I realize that all my grief and sorrow and pain and trouble has come because I went beyond holding....I was grasping for emotional security. I was grasping for recognition in my field of expertise. I was grasping for friendship. I was grasping for financial security and freedom. I was grasping anyone who showed affection. I was grasping for emotional freedom. I was grasping the spiritual strength that I was blessed with in one situation - wanting it to happen in all situations of life. I was grasping at relationships. I was grasping......and grasping.....and grasping....thinking that if I held on, it would stay with me......the people I was grasping would stay with me.....And this did not happen and now I realize that it will never happen because that is not the way of Life...

Life says 'Hold' and to hold means to cherish the moments of holding....cherishing a friendship, cherishing a love, cherishing anything that is important to us....

Holding has inbuilt into it the element of relinquishing....and thus at any moment we are called upon to relinquish what/who we are holding. This relinquishing does not have any bitterness in it....it is just a releasing...

And so we learn that it is only in holding that the mind and heart find peace...grasping and hanging on would only result in bitterness...

10 August 2017

Check this out...

Being good at something is never a replacement for loving it.

I came across this in my meditation today. It's from The Tiny Buddha.

When we are good at something we will get awards, we will get recognition, we will get the big boss' approval, we will be chosen for important posts, but we need to check if we are happy. Happiness in what we do is something else altogether.

Our expertise in what we do, and deep happiness and satisfaction in what we do, may not always be on the same track.

When our starting point is that we are good at our jobs, we do everything that ratifies this belief. As the responsibilities and accolades grow, we start believing that this is what we were meant to do. However, there comes a time in life when the doubts, hidden till now, surface and we ask ourselves - what am I doing? When did I get to be like this? What happened to the real me? And the result  - disillusionment and a sense of loss. It could well be that when we realize this, we are in our 50s or 60s or 70s.

And so, for those starting out - check if what you are good at is also something you love. If not, change track...

For those who are past the hump, conventionally speaking, if you see that where you are and what you are good at is bringing you a sense of loss and heartache, you can still change track...



05 August 2017

What are we to one another...

but a means to a meaning we haven't yet discovered. ~ Camille Rankine

A meaning about ourselves. A meaning that would make us authentic as persons.

We see culturally different people - how we respond to them tells us something about ourselves, hitherto unknown. We meet people who live by different values - how we respond, gives us clarity on our values, hitherto hidden. We find ourselves in different environments where we come in contact with people who probably never even knew that the country we come from exists - how we respond tells us something about what being so different means, hitherto never thought of.

All these meetings with other people help us to discover something more about ourselves, and goes into making us more authentic people. Linda Hogan, CHICKSAW, says there is a lot of power in being authentic.

03 August 2017

Back again...!!!!

I had a little problem getting the hang of signing in to my blog account since I am now in Dubai with my daughter. But, I did it, and here I am!

Dubai, as always fascinates me. Every time I come here, the city seems to have grown - skywards and outwards into the desert. The combination of the sea and the desert, with mind-blowing futuristic-looking buildings is unbelievable, simply because they all seem to be of a piece. I don't know how they do it, but they do and the end effect is just fabulous. Of course for the very rich it is a playground, but even for the ordinary, not-so-rich, there is something to grab their attention....something to touch their heart...something to excite their sense of adventure....for, this is truly a fairyland. Age-old traditions blend with the ultra-modern...the natural desert way is comfortable with the carefully-created super-luxurious way...the Arab lifestyle rubs shoulders with the lifestyle of people from around the rest of the world...strict codes of conduct exist quite comfortably without taking away anyone's freedom.....and the best is that nothing is reduced from the old, natural, Arab way to accommodate the ultra-modern, luxurious, cosmopolitan way. The two seem to have created a lovely blend....an exotic blend. Of course, where there are humans, a plethora of human emotions come into play. These may be difficult to contend with sometimes, but then that is life, is it not....? One can strive to be happy and not find happiness, and one can take life as it comes and find happiness and contentment...