Thanksgiving is a quintessentially American holiday. Thanksgiving celebration is a blend of two traditions: the New England custom of rejoicing after a successful harvest, based on ancient English harvest festivals and the Puritan Thanksgiving, a solemn religious observance combining prayer and feasting.
It was Sarah Josepha Hale, the influential editor of the popular women's magazine 'Godey's Lady's Book' who began a campaign to reinstate the holiday after the model of the first Presidents. Finally, in 1863, she was able to convince President Lincoln that a national Thanksgiving might unite a war-torn country. He declared two national Thanksgiving days that year: one for the victory at Gettysburg, and the other for the last Thursday in November. In 1941, Congress responded by permanently establishing the holiday as the fourth Thursday in the month
Despite modern-age turmoil—and perhaps, even more so, because of it—gathering together in grateful appreciation for a Thanksgiving celebration with friends and family is a deeply meaningful and comforting annual ritual to most Americans. The need to connect with loved ones and to express our gratitude is at the heart of all this feasting, prayerful thanks, recreation, and nostalgia.
I personally love Thanksgiving. It has a lot of meaning. Christmas has become very commercialized and far too festive for a family gathering. But Thanksgiving is sacrosanct....it's family and close friends.
28 November 2013
25 November 2013
Came across this fascinating person Anne Lamott...
in my daily meanderings. Something about her resonated with me....
Did a little more finding out about Lamott. Here was a writer attuned to the very real, day-to-day feelings that most of us go through, and I'd like to share some of her thoughts.
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
“And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but I just had to lie in the mud with my arms wrapped around myself, eyes closed, grieving, until I didn’t have to anymore.”
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
“You can either practice being right or practice being kind.”
“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”
“It's funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools - friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty - and said 'do the best you can with these, they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do.”
She's helped me get a grip on a lot of things I tend to agonize over: the need to grieve over the broken pieces of our lives and then get up and go on, instead of rushing off to find a new way and getting even more lost and broken. Also, the need to just hug someone who is going through this instead of coming up with instant solutions; there is no need to be perfect. Nor should we demand it of anyone; to always and always only be kind.
We have the tools, as she says, and these are more than enough to carve out our lives in as true a manner as we can.
Did a little more finding out about Lamott. Here was a writer attuned to the very real, day-to-day feelings that most of us go through, and I'd like to share some of her thoughts.
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
“And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but I just had to lie in the mud with my arms wrapped around myself, eyes closed, grieving, until I didn’t have to anymore.”
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
“You can either practice being right or practice being kind.”
“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”
“It's funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools - friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty - and said 'do the best you can with these, they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do.”
She's helped me get a grip on a lot of things I tend to agonize over: the need to grieve over the broken pieces of our lives and then get up and go on, instead of rushing off to find a new way and getting even more lost and broken. Also, the need to just hug someone who is going through this instead of coming up with instant solutions; there is no need to be perfect. Nor should we demand it of anyone; to always and always only be kind.
We have the tools, as she says, and these are more than enough to carve out our lives in as true a manner as we can.
21 November 2013
I just used this phrase...
Emotional pirate
in my blog 'Gleanings'
It's a wonderful way to describe those who have taken hold of our minds, our thinking, and our emotions in a negative way...
Emotional pirates are pirates who leave you feeling emotionally looted with their talk of sacrifice, torment, or good deeds, or whatever....always claiming your attention with themselves.
As Martha Beck says, the first thing would be to recognize if there is an emotional pirate in our lives, and then to take the necessary precautions against further looting. The steps she advocates are as follows:
1. Make sure you are comfortable. Because only then will you feel strong. Remember pirates attack those they think look weak. So do what it takes to make you feel strong and good about yourself.
2. Do not feel guilty. This is not a moral high horse that you are getting on to. This is a fact that has to be dealt with. According to the newsletter, these are the tests that will clarify what you feel:
You feel joy, delight; you're loose, energized.
Your emotions are pleasant, your body relaxed.
You feel weariness. Your body may feel tense.
You feel resentful. Your body is very tense.
You're angry, even if you think you shouldn't be. Your muscles are contracted, maybe enough to create pain in your neck, head, back, shoulders, and/or jaw.
Now, to test for pirate potential in any individual, keep that person in mind and imagine the various scenarios that feature him/her. Notice your reactions. Gauge your reaction on a scale of 1 to 5.
Accordingly, you'll know if this person is a 'crewmate' (definitely a good friend), 'friendly vessel' (casual pal), 'merchant ship' (a person who gives attention with the aim of getting something out of it, so there's no emotional support here!), Or, 'pirate' (looting you emotionally).
We've all encountered brigands on the high seas of life. While you come across friendly vessels or crewmates, you also come across those who are whiny--always wanting attention without ever paying it back. So even if you are in need of a shoulder, they are so busy turning everything around to focus on themselves that you feel totally drained and wonder what that was all about.
3. Now it's time to get anti-piracy measure in place. You can sail away; or batten your hatches (just be civil, nothing more; no matter what, preserve yourself); or hide your treasure (focus on what interests you).
4. Head for calmer seas. If you have allowed a pirate into your life, and you know you have been plundered, don't beat yourself up. It happens sometimes. Take notes, go at your own speed, and see what you can do to slowly head for the high seas yourself!!
in my blog 'Gleanings'
It's a wonderful way to describe those who have taken hold of our minds, our thinking, and our emotions in a negative way...
Emotional pirates are pirates who leave you feeling emotionally looted with their talk of sacrifice, torment, or good deeds, or whatever....always claiming your attention with themselves.
As Martha Beck says, the first thing would be to recognize if there is an emotional pirate in our lives, and then to take the necessary precautions against further looting. The steps she advocates are as follows:
1. Make sure you are comfortable. Because only then will you feel strong. Remember pirates attack those they think look weak. So do what it takes to make you feel strong and good about yourself.
2. Do not feel guilty. This is not a moral high horse that you are getting on to. This is a fact that has to be dealt with. According to the newsletter, these are the tests that will clarify what you feel:
Now, to test for pirate potential in any individual, keep that person in mind and imagine the various scenarios that feature him/her. Notice your reactions. Gauge your reaction on a scale of 1 to 5.
Accordingly, you'll know if this person is a 'crewmate' (definitely a good friend), 'friendly vessel' (casual pal), 'merchant ship' (a person who gives attention with the aim of getting something out of it, so there's no emotional support here!), Or, 'pirate' (looting you emotionally).
We've all encountered brigands on the high seas of life. While you come across friendly vessels or crewmates, you also come across those who are whiny--always wanting attention without ever paying it back. So even if you are in need of a shoulder, they are so busy turning everything around to focus on themselves that you feel totally drained and wonder what that was all about.
3. Now it's time to get anti-piracy measure in place. You can sail away; or batten your hatches (just be civil, nothing more; no matter what, preserve yourself); or hide your treasure (focus on what interests you).
4. Head for calmer seas. If you have allowed a pirate into your life, and you know you have been plundered, don't beat yourself up. It happens sometimes. Take notes, go at your own speed, and see what you can do to slowly head for the high seas yourself!!
In continuation with...
my blog of October 20...
Talking about unanswered dreams and prayers, I came across this wonderful line from a favorite book that I frequently dip into: The Bridges of Madison County.
When Francesca tells Robert Kincaid that though her present life is good, 'it's not what I dreamed about as a girl,' he shares a thought that came to him while he was driving. It went like this: The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them.
And, at another point he says, 'The reality is not exactly what we want the song to be, but it's not a bad song.'
Uplifting thoughts, especially when the days look bleak.
Talking about unanswered dreams and prayers, I came across this wonderful line from a favorite book that I frequently dip into: The Bridges of Madison County.
When Francesca tells Robert Kincaid that though her present life is good, 'it's not what I dreamed about as a girl,' he shares a thought that came to him while he was driving. It went like this: The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them.
And, at another point he says, 'The reality is not exactly what we want the song to be, but it's not a bad song.'
Uplifting thoughts, especially when the days look bleak.
16 November 2013
There's no such time as...
a time to rest on our oars...
Every day comes with its quota of challenges. Some we can handle, some turn out real good, some we goof up on, and some we downright fail on.
Chuck the ones we didn't come out tops in, laugh at the ones we goofed up on, pat ourselves for the ones we handled, and draw strength from the ones we did good in....
and.....
Get ready for the next day's challenges.....
I do believe that when life is looked at this way, it offers a great deal of peace of mind and a feeling of gentle happiness pervades us, and, best of all, life can turn our quite fun!!
Every day comes with its quota of challenges. Some we can handle, some turn out real good, some we goof up on, and some we downright fail on.
Chuck the ones we didn't come out tops in, laugh at the ones we goofed up on, pat ourselves for the ones we handled, and draw strength from the ones we did good in....
and.....
Get ready for the next day's challenges.....
I do believe that when life is looked at this way, it offers a great deal of peace of mind and a feeling of gentle happiness pervades us, and, best of all, life can turn our quite fun!!
12 November 2013
This is Mental Health Awareness week...
One in three of us go through some kind of traumatic experience (sometimes many traumatic experiences) at some point or other in our lives.
We need to assure and reassure those suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks (as well as ourselves if we are in this situation) that these are not signs of weakness. They are signs of having tried very hard and for way too long.
We need to let those who struggle with their personal traumas know that they are not alone, that they are loved and surrounded by a lot of people who care.
Send out hugs and love every day....someone is sure to feel it.....and know they are not alone...that they are loved...
We need to assure and reassure those suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks (as well as ourselves if we are in this situation) that these are not signs of weakness. They are signs of having tried very hard and for way too long.
We need to let those who struggle with their personal traumas know that they are not alone, that they are loved and surrounded by a lot of people who care.
Send out hugs and love every day....someone is sure to feel it.....and know they are not alone...that they are loved...
11 November 2013
There are so many things we dream about...
what we'll become, or what we'll have, or what we'll do, places we'll see, new ground we'll break.....so many things.
And then life puts in places that have no semblance to what we dreamed about. It also puts us in situations where often the choices are between a hard place and a rock, and we take decisions that to us at that time and place, with the experiences we've gone through, our life views at that time, our mental-emotional-psychological stage of the time, seem the only right one, or rather the only one we can make.
No matter how many people tell us we could do things differently, give options which in themselves are very viable ones, they are not in our shoes---only we know what is going to work and how it will work.....
So never blame yourself or put yourself down or get angry with life - whatever we decide is what we think is best under the circumstances we find ourselves in....so chin up and go on...and keep giving of your best wherever you find yourself.
And then life puts in places that have no semblance to what we dreamed about. It also puts us in situations where often the choices are between a hard place and a rock, and we take decisions that to us at that time and place, with the experiences we've gone through, our life views at that time, our mental-emotional-psychological stage of the time, seem the only right one, or rather the only one we can make.
No matter how many people tell us we could do things differently, give options which in themselves are very viable ones, they are not in our shoes---only we know what is going to work and how it will work.....
So never blame yourself or put yourself down or get angry with life - whatever we decide is what we think is best under the circumstances we find ourselves in....so chin up and go on...and keep giving of your best wherever you find yourself.
06 November 2013
In a state of illness...
when the boundaries blur, and there are tussles inside about just lying down and sleeping or getting up and doing the zillion things that need to be done, one thing that helps me to stay calm, is images...these are a few pix I took in Pemyangtse....they're not professional - just memories...
All powerful motivators...
talk about creating ourselves......this is in line with my thinking on 'Limitations'.
We read, over and over, in different words, or put in different ways, that it is our thoughts that shape us and that if we can but channel our thoughts, we're well on the way to creating ourselves.
I think that creating ourselves is also about defining who we are....that is the first thing. So, what do we enjoy by way of food, dressing, reading, movies, music.....and on to the million little things that we really enjoy but maybe have kept hidden these past years.....this would include....which fragrances do we like, which perfume, what kind of hair clips or combs to wear in our hair, what colors do we like our clothes to be in, what kind of clothes make us feel good about ourself, what kind of jewellery.......and on even up to how would we would like our own special corner to look, or furniture arranged, or table set....and so on....
Then, we move on a step up, to, 'what kind of person would I like to be?'....this could be drawn from people we admire, it could be something we had dreamed of but which we had buried under the years, it could be taken from things we read...something attractive and which have moved us powerfully...the inspiration and resonance could be from anywhere or anyone....
And so, we take the first tentative steps to creating ourselves....without limitations....
We read, over and over, in different words, or put in different ways, that it is our thoughts that shape us and that if we can but channel our thoughts, we're well on the way to creating ourselves.
I think that creating ourselves is also about defining who we are....that is the first thing. So, what do we enjoy by way of food, dressing, reading, movies, music.....and on to the million little things that we really enjoy but maybe have kept hidden these past years.....this would include....which fragrances do we like, which perfume, what kind of hair clips or combs to wear in our hair, what colors do we like our clothes to be in, what kind of clothes make us feel good about ourself, what kind of jewellery.......and on even up to how would we would like our own special corner to look, or furniture arranged, or table set....and so on....
Then, we move on a step up, to, 'what kind of person would I like to be?'....this could be drawn from people we admire, it could be something we had dreamed of but which we had buried under the years, it could be taken from things we read...something attractive and which have moved us powerfully...the inspiration and resonance could be from anywhere or anyone....
And so, we take the first tentative steps to creating ourselves....without limitations....
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