It is when we give a name to a face...

that the person becomes real to us. These past couple of days I had two encounters that have left me deeply moved.

I needed to get my USB modem upgraded. The technician, a mere boy, came over to my home. Quietly he heard me out. I do not speak his mother tongue, and he could just about make it in Hindi and English. Nevertheless he heard me, asked questions when he wanted to clarify something and then silently yet confidently took out his laptop and did what had to be done. He checked it thoroughly and asked me to do the same. The main office that had sent him had told me that the charge would be Rs 150/-. I took out the money to give him but he said the money would be adjusted in the bill. I was not to give him any money.

After he fixed the issue, he talked about making our home wi-fi enabled. He talked about it very knowledgeably - didn't push for it - but told us the pros and cons. He talked to my husband in his mother tongue, and since my husband knows it, the lad was able to express himself and share his knowledge with great confidence. However, he didn't hesitate to answer my questions or clear my doubts in Hindi and English. He said he would talk to his superior, who would guide us as to how to go about getting it installed.

Sure enough, within a few hours, the lad's superior officer called and worked it out. The technician who came with the wi-fi equipment was another young lad. Good experience again. This boy told us that he had no parents and this was his way of earning an honest livelihood, going from house to house selling wi-fi equipment. He was not on the salary rolls of the company but only earned a commission.

Both boys were from the districts, determined to make it good in the city. They travelled by bus or walked. The temperature is 40 degrees Centigrade in the shade, with humidity at 90%.....so you can imagine their condition. Yet, not a word of complaint. Just the sincerity to do the job they had come for.

What struck me was their seriousness of purpose, and their willingness to make their way honestly in the world. Being naturally talented, these young people have taken to the computer like duck to water. It is amazing what they can do when you put them in front of a computer. They are fully literate in everything concerning the Internet. It is only knowledge of the language of communication that keeps them from going up the career ladder - not being able to get that basic education is what is hampering their growth. And it is here that the government has crippled them. What they do, they do on their own, and they are willing and ready to work by the sweat of their brow, determined not to let life get the better of them.

Girls again...

How much suffering can the human heart take...how much pain can a mother's heart bear...

Beyond grief, many Nigerians are also bewildered by the abductions. It's more than a week since these girls disappeared.

More than a week since they disappeared, the girls' whereabouts are still unknown.

When will girls cease to be traumatized?

Let us all join hands and send our energies to these girls, and to their families.

How often...

our actions are guided by what others may think of us (in reality no one really has that kind of time or energy to think about what we are doing), or by what others may do in a similar situation (but we are, each of us, guided by our thoughts, and thoughts are our very own personal domain).

How often do we honestly confront what we really want to do deep down? We are so busy whitewashing what we want to do so that we look good in the eyes of people (in whose minds we, in all probability, don't even feature, and even if we do this is our life we are talking about isn't it?), or we are trying to find ways and means of giving our actions a coat of self-righteous paint (who are we trying to fool?), or we devise fantastic explanations and complicated and circuitous reasons for our actions in order to gain the other person's empathy (who really cares?), or we speak with bravado, maybe to prop up our own selves because deep down there is no resonance (who is impressed, anyway?).

How often do we do (or not do) things because that is what we want to do (or not do) - because we believe it will give us happiness - because we know that, for us, it is the right thing to do - because we know it is good for our souls.....? We spend our time and energy craving for recognition or approval from other people whereas all we have to do is to look into our own hearts and souls.....This is the difficult and scary part but it is the only thing that will bring fulfillment and peace...

It's Vishu today...

it is also Poila Baisakh, Jaya Varsham, Baisakhi and Bohag Bihu....

A bringing in of another New Year...

Every community has a variation of a dish which is a mix of something sweet, something sour, something chilli hot, something that is both sweet and sour, and something bitter.

An apt metaphor for what life will serve up, wouldn't you say....?

Why then, do we balk at having fun or having a good loud laugh, or question the happiness that life gives us, and instantly groan and moan when ills befall us, or wallow in self-pity when bad times come?

The expression 'amalgamation of identities...'

has gone deep...

What courage Asra Q. Nomani must have to write a book like 'Standing Alone in Mecca'. And it is a courage that we can all borrow from. She says, 'I spent my young adulthood trying to understand the amalgamation of identities within me.'

While some people can synthesize their various identities, some of us struggle with them because, often, we do not know what we are battling. Our various identities keep wrestling with each other, and often we do not know how to manage them, let alone make them cohesive, causing us to live fractured lives.

I found that writing down my various identities - those that describe me at birth, those that define me from the place that I was brought up in, and those that I acquired along the way due to my experiences - helped me a great deal towards sync-ing them. I realize I need to - have to - must - make them harmonize with each other to create the melody that would define me.

Awww......very difficult to say goodbye...

to the adorable Archie and his friends Reggie and Jughead. Later, Betty and Veronica also joined the gang.

And how can we leave out Hot Dog??!!!!!

This genre of Bubblegum, Rock and roll is never going to go out of fashion, especially for those of us who belong to that 'age' of Sugar, Sugar by The Archies. Writing the words for those of us for whom this song still spins its magic, and puts stardust in our eyes....

Sugar, ah, honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you
Honey, ah, sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you

I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you
(I just can't believe it's true)
I just can't believe the wonder of this feeling, too
(I just can't believe it's true)

Ah, sugar, ah, honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, ah, sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you

When I kissed you girl I knew how sweet a kiss could be
(I know how sweet a kiss can be)
Like the summer sunshine pour you sweetness over me
(Pour your sweetness over me)

(Oh, sugar)
Pour your sugar on me, honey
Pour your sugar on me, baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah

Pour your sugar on me, oh, yeah
Pour your sugar on me, honey
Pour your sugar on me, baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah
Pour your sugar on me, honey

Ah sugar, ah, honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, honey, sugar, sugar
Honey, honey, sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl

Maya Angelou speaks to all of us women...

Phenomenal Woman

    Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
    I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
    But when I start to tell them,
    They think I’m telling lies.
    I say,
    It’s in the reach of my arms,
    The span of my hips,
    The stride of my step,
    The curl of my lips.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenally.

    I walk into a room
    Just as cool as you please,
    And to a man,
    The fellows stand or
    Fall down on their knees.
    Then they swarm around me,
    A hive of honey bees.
    I say,
    It’s the fire in my eyes,
    And the flash of my teeth,
    The swing in my waist,
    And the joy in my feet.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenally.

    Men themselves have wondered
    What they see in me.
    They try so much
    But they can’t touch
    My inner mystery.
    When I try to show them,
    They say they still can’t see.
    I say,
    It’s in the arch of my back,
    The sun of my smile,
    The ride of my breasts,
    The grace of my style.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenally.

    Now you understand
    Just why my head’s not bowed.
    I don’t shout or jump about
    Or have to talk real loud.
    When you see me passing,
    It ought to make you proud.
    I say,
    It’s in the click of my heels,
    The bend of my hair,
    the palms of my hands,
    The need for my care.
    ’Cause I’m a woman
    Phenomenally.
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

All you women....and me

It is critical...

exceedingly so, in fact, that we come to terms with our situation, no matter how bad/sad/unfortunate it is. Wishing it away is not going to happen, trying to replace it is a risk (take it if you feel strong enough), finding ways and means of countering it or changing it - there's no surety, maybe no possibility either, that it can or will happen. Nor is it helpful to you if you get onto the 'why is this happening to me' track. The I-haven't-harmed-anyone-why-is-this-happening-to-me, doesn't work - it won't give you either the peace you need in your heart, nor does it give you any answers, simply because there are no answers for some things. The I-deserve-something-better, or this-can't-be-happening-to-me, or I-too-am-entitled-to-happiness thoughts only become more and more stressful and stress-producing as they go round and round in your mind and heart.

Difficult as it is - terribly, terribly so, sometimes - it is best to force yourself to come to terms with the bad/sad/unfortunate things in your life. And since Life moves in paradoxes, often, this is the only way your heart and mind will be free to make the best of your own life. At the end, you have to account for your own life, not for the actions of someone or for circumstances who/which made your life unbearable.

We are on this earth:
To BE HAPPY
To MAKE OURSELVES COUNT
To GIVE BACK TO LIFE THE LOVE IT GIVES US
To BE WHOLE

Wonderful words to spur all of us on:

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
~ Maya Angelou

I remember being told that...

friendships break, or develop deep seemingly unrepairable cracks, though it can be patched up, the crack is always there...as in, the mark where it has been patched up always shows. Not a happy or uplifting thought, for all relationships go through cracks, breaks, and patch-ups. Some have many cracks and breaks that are patched up.

So, imagine my happiness and relief when I came across this:

“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.”
~Barbara Bloom

Breaks, deep cracks can be repaired.................. and plugged with gold!!!! Gold-filled patchwork!!!

A must-see, must-hear, must-experience...

The evolution of Bollywood music from Rafi to 'Badtameeze Dil' in five minutes, four seconds, at:

http://scroll.in/article/listen-to-the-flowering-of-bollywood-music-from-rafi-to-badtameez-dil-in-five-minutes-four-seconds?id=660093

and on to the Penn Masala website at:

http://www.pennmasala.com/index.html

Sheer uplifting joy of life and living...

Sharing words that...

at one point or another we all need to hear and repeat:

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you're trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you're afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can't run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience---you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don't live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.”

~Alysha Speer