In defense of the Pub

Pubs are social places where, over a drink of an alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverage, people relax, meet other people, listen to pub music, maybe read a book, and just unwind. In the UK, pubs have been in existence right from the time of the Romans, though the practice of drinking ale was a common practice during the Bronze Age. The Anglo-Saxons established the alehouses that grew out of homes. By the end of the 18th century, the pub as a separate building with its own architecture came into existence. Pubs are exceedingly charming buildings and would be just the place to go to either on one's own, or with one's friends and family. Some have traditional names and some are done up according to a theme. A few pubs even have stage performances like serious drama, comedys, and live bands. There is a special kind of music that is enjoyed in pubs, called pub music, which adds to the atmosphere. There is a very clear pub conduct, and those who don't play by the rules will soon feel the bouncer's presence close by. Pub food is of a special kind as well, and different pubs vie with each other to create a menu that would give one a good, happy feeling - food for the soul as it were!

Today pub culture has caught on in India in a big way in the Metros and some of the other big cities. And why not? The young today work hard, and want to party hard. They are mature beyond their years and are all excited about trying out new things. They have the money, and they have the courage to be themselves and enjoy themselves. I feel this mainly in connection with girls. It is good to see our girls meet socially in pubs and enjoy themselves, chatting, dancing, and well, just being. It is good that some pubs even have exclusive 'ladies' nights'. More power to the girls!!

Of course, there will be the odd mishap of having had a drink too many, but then the consequences would, in all probability, get them on to the right track. However, it is better to openly meet with friends over a drink, in a very engaging atmosphere, rather than hide in one's room and drink. Drinking is a social activity, and in an aesthetically pleasing atmosphere, can be a good experience.

I know of 2 pubs - Someplace Else in Kol, and 10 Downing in Madras, and I love going to both......

Cheers then!!

The girl child

To my mind the girl child is the most precious gift of all. A girl child has to be treasured and protected from all harm and danger. The world, no matter that many would say otherwise, is still a man's world, and still a cruel world to the girl child. A girl, a woman is not safe anywhere in the world, and, I feel especially so in our country. What happened a couple of days ago in Mangalore is a testimony to the fact that, forget treasuring our girls, we cannot even treat them with the respect that is due to a human being. It is absolutely terrible what happened and right thinking people especially women are outraged. I join my voice to the voice of all those who are condemning this dastardly act. To top it all, one of the goons said that they objected to the dress the girls were wearing. Their clothing did not conform to Indian culture he claimed. So what is the dress that women of Indian culture should wear? what is worn in the Hindi films? the revealing clothes that our heroines wear, is what our girls should wear? should they dress like the women of yore as depicted in the sculptures in Khajuraho? what about the goons themselves? they were in trousers and shirts. Is that clothing according to Indian culture? such a confused and wretched lot, I cannot condemn them enough. I do hope the police catches the lot of them and I hope they are given the most serious punishment possible. Renuka Choudhry was right when she said that this was akin to talibanisation. These girls work hard, and earn enough to allow them to have fun. Anyone who has seen young working girls in a pub will understand when I say that I feel such a sense of pride to see that these girls can conduct themselves so well and enjoy themselves - and on the salary that they work so hard for. The feeling of oneness that they share with each other, the collective strength with which they uphold each other. All of them in the pub don't drink. They often nurse a mocktail, may try a wine (and why not), may even try something harder (what's wrong). 9 times out of 10 they know their limits and know what they like. You see them sitting and talking to each other, reading, or just singing along. You might spot them dancing either with each other or even alone, quite unselfconsciously. Who knows what the future holds for our girls. The most liberal and understanding of parents often go wrong in the choice of who they get their girls married to. And there is neither forgiveness nor respite for them in a bad marriage. Ultimately she has to bow to the man's wishes, worse, she may have to bow to the family's wishes. I so believe that the girl child should be empowered to live the difficult and sometimes lonely life that is her lot ( I'm not talking about the very small number of girls/women that can live life on their terms). Education alone won't help. She must be made strong mentally, emotionally and psychologically so that she can live with her head high, in dignity and be able to fight to live on her own terms. She must be treasured, and protected, for she and she alone is our wealth. Women in the olden days had a position of their own. They could hold their own in society. We have the matriarchal society in Kerala and the North-East. So, it is not something out of the ordinary that women should have an honourable place in society. It is neither a new nor a revolutionary concept. Till Manu came along and gave his Manu-shastra that caused the woman to lose her position of respect and dignity. But, do we have to follow the bad things? Like the good Indians we are,we excel at hypocrisy. And so when it suits us, we make a woman the President of our country, and when it suits us we burn her because she has had the courage to do something and be someone that the man perceives as a threat to him.

20th January

The inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America. A very, special event for many reasons, all of which have been talked about, discussed, debated, and analysed. America has willy nilly influenced the world. I don't think there is any one in the whole world who is not conscious of this country. We even hear the phrase 'Americanisation of the world'. America stands for some wonderful human values -this is how I like to think of her - hard working, tough, extremely helpful, a strong sense of individuality and a great insistence and premium on freedom. The jeans and checked shirts, the hamburgers and Coca Cola are not important, to my mind.

I particularly liked one description of Obama - that he had successfully combined the conservative and the radical. Michelle is the absolute rock -beautiful, thoughtful, serene and strong. Conservative and radical -this is what I guess Kofi Anan ,meant when he said that America was now ready to engage with the world. His speech was gently tough -I guess that is how Obama is. Of course the pressure on Obama is tremendous. Just too much for a single set of shoulders, but he looks big enough to shoulder it....Everyone in every Nation in the world is expecting him to bring back the magic.

Bucket List

The movie got me thinking. Why not make a Bucket List. Of course this is not because you are about to 'kick the bucket', but that it would be: a) a fun thing to do, and , b) it would serve as a compass, and an anchor.

When we are young and the stars in your eyes are brightly shining, and you are all set to conquer the world, all that life throws up seems a challenge to be conquered. Then, as the years pass and segue into each other sometimes seamlessly and sometimes painfully, when the economics of living hit you, then the stars start to dim and you don't feel like such a conqueror after all. Then what?? A Bucket List would, I think, come in very handy. No need to have places to go, or way-out things to do. The Bucket List could have do-able things on it. Those that just didn't/couldn't get done - like becoming a better person, working on something in yourself that you don't like, having the courage to change a habit, and replacing it with something quite different, changing your clothing style, working on your vocabulary, cooking, walking, hiking, embracing wabi-sabi, reading the classics, watching films, keeping open home for your children's friends..........and on and on.

Then, when it is time to go to Egyptian heaven, it won't be difficult to answer the 2 all important questions:
1. Have you found joy in your life?
&
2. Have you brought joy into someone else's life?

Oogway

Ever since I saw 'Kung-Fu Panda, I've been hooked onto the wisdom of the wise old turtle Oogway. Turtles convey steadfastness and caution, support, self reliance, stability and longevity. While we do not have a say over our longevity, we surely can learn to be steadfast and cautious, be self-reliant and stable, and be a source of support to those who might be dependent on us.

I'd like to look at some of the wise sayings:

1. Your mind is like this water when it is agitated it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle the answer becomes clear. A tranquil mind - to be attained by meditating and practice. There is, I feel, great beauty in a tranquil mind.

2. One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it. How true. This has happened to us as a family and me as an individual a few times.It is just so very important that we learn to listen and practice listening to our inner voice. Our instincts never fail us. It is just that when the inner voice tells us something that is quite the opposite of what we desire/think/want to do, we oftentimes hush it up. Or are skeptical about it, or allow our egos to get in the way. We just don't listen to that voice that comes from deep within us.

3. You are too concerned with what was, and what will be. Always the past interferes...either in something that we said, or experienced, or did, or things that were said and done to us. We become victims of our circumstances. But there is a way out. A leading man in a movie I saw said - 'The past is another country. I never visit it'. This is the secret then - just don't look back or go back either in thought or word. It serves no purpose. It can, very often in fact, cause a whole lot of damage. Another thing that interferes in our living in the present is looking at the future. Again, what does this achieve? Nothing. We cannot change one moment of what has been planned for us. We can though, make ourselves strong every moment of the now to make the most of or deal with what the future brings us.

4. Look at this tree, I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time. If only we could master this wisdom. What has to happen will happen in its own time. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that we can do to hasten anything that has been planned for us or that we have to go through, or that we have to enjoy, or endure....

5. Things become special because people believe them to be special. This was the message of the Dragon Scroll and also what Po's father tells him when Po asks him for the secret ingredient of the special soup. This is the ultimate secret. To be able to believe that we are special. To believe that what we have is special. To believe that we have the ability to do anything, absolutely anything because we are special.

How I wish these were easy to attain..............and yet the secret of tranquility and peacefulness lies in this. Asking for happiness, or asking for strength of mind and heart to deal with the unfortunate incidents that befall us, or plain and simple trying hard to cope with our human frailities, will never give us the tranquility needed to live each moment of each day.