8. LOVE IS EVERYTHING.
“Only from the heart can you touch the sky.”
“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.”
9. RISE UP TO MEET YOUR POTENTIAL.
“You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness. You were born with wings. You are not meant for crawling, so don’t. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly.”
“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”
“Be like the sun for grace and mercy. Be like the night to cover others’ faults. Be like running water for generosity. Be like death for rage and anger. Be like the Earth for modesty. Appear as you are. Be as you appear.”
10. FIND PEOPLE WHO WILL SHINE LIGHT ON YOUR PATH.
“Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.”
“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.”
11. DON’T TAKE YOUR THOUGHTS SO SERIOUSLY; THEY DO NOT OWN YOU.
“Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”
“Put your thoughts to sleep, do not let them cast a shadow over the moon of your heart. Let go of thinking.”
“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
12. SIT IN SILENCE FOR A WHILE; EVERYTHING WILL MAKE MORE SENSE.
“In Silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves.”
“Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.”
13. WE ALL ARE VISITORS OF THIS PLANET, BECAUSE WE COME FROM ELSEWHERE.
“All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I’m sure of that, and I intend to end up there.”
“We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.”
14. OPEN YOUR EYES TO WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE WITHIN YOU.
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”
“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I’ve been knocking from the inside.”
“You wander from room to room hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck!”
“Why are you so enchanted by this world, when a mine of gold lies within you?”
“There is a fountain inside you. Don’t walk around with an empty bucket.”
15. DON’T SEEK ANYTHING OUTSIDE YOURSELF; THE ANSWERS ARE CONTAINED IN YOUR HEART.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
“That which is false troubles the heart, but truth brings joyous tranquility.”
“What you seek is seeking you.”
“Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.”
30 January 2017
27 January 2017
Life-changing lessons from Rumi...
Rumi was a 13th-century Persian Sunni Muslim poet, jurist, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic.
It was his meeting with the dervish Shams-e Tabrizi on 15 November 1244 that completely changed his life. From an accomplished teacher and jurist, Rumi was transformed into an ascetic.
There is solace, and restoration and rejuvenation of the spirit in Rumi's wisdom and insight. His words are as relevant today as they were in the 13th century.
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
It was his meeting with the dervish Shams-e Tabrizi on 15 November 1244 that completely changed his life. From an accomplished teacher and jurist, Rumi was transformed into an ascetic.
There is solace, and restoration and rejuvenation of the spirit in Rumi's wisdom and insight. His words are as relevant today as they were in the 13th century.
Here are some of his words of wisdom:
1. DON’T AVOID TOUGH EXPERIENCES; THEY ARE WONDERFUL TEACHERS.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”
“The moon stays bright when it doesn’t avoid the night.”
“What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.”
“Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.”
2. DON’T ALLOW THINGS OUTSIDE YOURSELF TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTION.
“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?”
“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
3. LEAVE BEHIND A LEGACY WORTH REMEMBERING.
“Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.”
4. DON’T ACT SO SMALL WHEN YOU HAVE THE WHOLE UNIVERSE INSIDE OF YOU.
4. DON’T ACT SO SMALL WHEN YOU HAVE THE WHOLE UNIVERSE INSIDE OF YOU.
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
“Become the sky. Take an axe to the prison wall. Escape.”
5. FOCUS ON CHANGING YOURSELF, AND THE WHOLE WORLD WILL APPEAR DIFFERENTLY.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
6. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART; IT WILL TAKE YOU WHERE YOU NEED TO GO.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.”
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
7. YOU HAVE A PURPOSE HERE FAR BEYOND WHAT YOU’VE BEEN TOLD.
“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled. You feel it, don’t you?”
25 January 2017
A number of deaths one after another...
have been too much for me. With my head I can understand that for some it is a blessed release, but my heart aches for those who are left behind who are trying to cope with loss - not only of a dearly loved person, but a whole lot of other things as well. One of these people has to start life all over again, as it were, with two small children.
My faith teaches me - and I do find solace in this - The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Talking about loss and grieving with one of my young nephews, I was quite taken aback by what he said. He asked me to look at death this way: Death is not the end. It's just a way to wake us up to a new beginning.... This is God telling us to forgive those we haven't forgiven and love those whom we don't.
These words gave me a jolt and went round and round in my head. I finally accepted them.
We need to grieve. But then, while we can never let go fully of the person who has left us, we can prevent ourselves from getting paralyzed by our grief....as it often happens. We can use his/her passing to start anew. Look at life with a new perspective, sort out issues that have long been festering in our mind....there may be something rankling in us, and we could force ourselves to face up to it. Accepting the reminder that we too will one day go away, we could catch up with people we have long been neglecting, read that book which we have wanted to, but kept postponing, do things we have long wanted to do, change aspects in us which are not working out, do a complete checklist of our beliefs and values, remove the bitter and harsh, forgive, instead of holding on to a grudge that is anyway years and years old, give ourselves a bold makeover, face up to the hard/harsh deals that Life has given us and find a way around them or through them, write someone a letter of love and appreciation - something which should have been done long back, re-connect with people who've got left behind....... These are all new beginnings... They won't cause us to forget our loved ones who have passed on, instead, we will be actually paying them a tribute because we are channeling our grief to make our lives better... they are forcing us to look at our lives anew...
My faith teaches me - and I do find solace in this - The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Talking about loss and grieving with one of my young nephews, I was quite taken aback by what he said. He asked me to look at death this way: Death is not the end. It's just a way to wake us up to a new beginning.... This is God telling us to forgive those we haven't forgiven and love those whom we don't.
These words gave me a jolt and went round and round in my head. I finally accepted them.
We need to grieve. But then, while we can never let go fully of the person who has left us, we can prevent ourselves from getting paralyzed by our grief....as it often happens. We can use his/her passing to start anew. Look at life with a new perspective, sort out issues that have long been festering in our mind....there may be something rankling in us, and we could force ourselves to face up to it. Accepting the reminder that we too will one day go away, we could catch up with people we have long been neglecting, read that book which we have wanted to, but kept postponing, do things we have long wanted to do, change aspects in us which are not working out, do a complete checklist of our beliefs and values, remove the bitter and harsh, forgive, instead of holding on to a grudge that is anyway years and years old, give ourselves a bold makeover, face up to the hard/harsh deals that Life has given us and find a way around them or through them, write someone a letter of love and appreciation - something which should have been done long back, re-connect with people who've got left behind....... These are all new beginnings... They won't cause us to forget our loved ones who have passed on, instead, we will be actually paying them a tribute because we are channeling our grief to make our lives better... they are forcing us to look at our lives anew...
23 January 2017
Continuing with Swami Vivekananda...
His very humanness is engaging...he doesn't prescribe any complicated set of metaphysical mental, psychological or emotional acrobatics. One trusts, one learns to believe and one wants to live what one has learnt to believe...
Here are 10 Life lessons given by him:
1. You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.
2. Arise! Awake! and stop not until the goal is reached.
3. You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.
4. In a conflict between the heart and the brain, follow your heart.
(The wisdom of the heart that we reap in that vulnerable state is of a wholly different order to the intellectual insight we synthesize through deliberate rational thought (Brain Pickings). The insights we get through our intellectual activity and acumen have to be filtered into the heart so that the wisdom of the heart may then, finally, help us to take the right decision, or cope with the effects of a wrong decision.)
5. They alone live, who live for others.
6. Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes.
7. Comfort is no test of truth. Truth is often far from being comfortable.
8. The fire that warms us can also consume us; it is not the fault of the fire.
9. Ask nothing; want nothing in return. Give what you have to give; it will come back to you, but do not think of that now.
10. Do one thing at a time, and while doing it put your whole soul into it to the exclusion of all else.
Sync-ing the Swamiji's teaching with Native American wisdom. See what Willaru Huayta, an Incan Spiritual Messenger from Cusco, Peru, says. (Huayta was born a Quechua Indian; he learned to receive esoteric truth during his spiritual quests in the Amazon jungles.)
"The most important thing now is to reveal the inner temple of the soul with right thinking
and right activity."
Just like a tree, in order to grow strong and tall needs a good system of roots, so, too, we need a good set of Life lessons to help us stand straight and withstand the winds that buffet us...
Here are 10 Life lessons given by him:
1. You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.
2. Arise! Awake! and stop not until the goal is reached.
3. You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.
4. In a conflict between the heart and the brain, follow your heart.
(The wisdom of the heart that we reap in that vulnerable state is of a wholly different order to the intellectual insight we synthesize through deliberate rational thought (Brain Pickings). The insights we get through our intellectual activity and acumen have to be filtered into the heart so that the wisdom of the heart may then, finally, help us to take the right decision, or cope with the effects of a wrong decision.)
5. They alone live, who live for others.
6. Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes.
7. Comfort is no test of truth. Truth is often far from being comfortable.
8. The fire that warms us can also consume us; it is not the fault of the fire.
9. Ask nothing; want nothing in return. Give what you have to give; it will come back to you, but do not think of that now.
10. Do one thing at a time, and while doing it put your whole soul into it to the exclusion of all else.
Sync-ing the Swamiji's teaching with Native American wisdom. See what Willaru Huayta, an Incan Spiritual Messenger from Cusco, Peru, says. (Huayta was born a Quechua Indian; he learned to receive esoteric truth during his spiritual quests in the Amazon jungles.)
"The most important thing now is to reveal the inner temple of the soul with right thinking
and right activity."
Just like a tree, in order to grow strong and tall needs a good system of roots, so, too, we need a good set of Life lessons to help us stand straight and withstand the winds that buffet us...
20 January 2017
A personality who inspires me...
Swami Vivekananda.
What I love most about him is that he makes it possible to travel the spiritual path without any kind of mumbo-jumbo - his message is sane, do-able and goes straight to the heart.
Eminent British historian A.L. Basham stated that “in centuries to come, he will be remembered as one of the main moulders of the modern world…”
A bit about Swami Vivekananda:
Narendra Nath Datta (who later took the name Swami Vivekananda) was born into an affluent family in Calcutta, India on 12 January 1863. He was a precocious lad and excelled in all he did. He also used to practice meditation right from a young age. As a young man, Narendra went through a period of deep spiritual crisis when he doubted the existence of God. Hearing about Sri Ramakrishna from one of his teachers, he went to meet him. The legend goes that when Narendra met Sri Ramakrishna, he straightaway asked the Master a question: “Sir, have you seen God?” Without a moment’s hesitation, Sri Ramakrishna replied: “Yes, I have. I see Him as clearly as I see you, only in a much intenser sense.” Sri Ramakrishna slowly won Narendra over through his pure, unselfish love. After the Master's passing, Narendra and 15 others who were with the Master formed a monastic brotherhood. Narendra then took the name of Swami Vivekananda.
The Swamiji's 7 Little Truths:
1. Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. Relationships work best when they are balanced.
2. Never explain yourself to anyone. Because, the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person who doesn't like you won't believe you.
3. When you keep saying you are busy, then you are never free. When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have any time. When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.
4. When we wake up in the morning, we have two choices: Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. The choice is yours.
5. We make them cry who care for us. We cry for those who have never cared for us. And we care for those who will never cry for us. This is the truth of life - it's strange but true. Once you realize this, it's never too late to change.
6. Don't make promises when you are in joy. Don't reply when you are sad. Don't take decisions when you are angry. Think twice, act once.
7.Time is like a river. You can't touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.
What I love most about him is that he makes it possible to travel the spiritual path without any kind of mumbo-jumbo - his message is sane, do-able and goes straight to the heart.
Eminent British historian A.L. Basham stated that “in centuries to come, he will be remembered as one of the main moulders of the modern world…”
A bit about Swami Vivekananda:
Narendra Nath Datta (who later took the name Swami Vivekananda) was born into an affluent family in Calcutta, India on 12 January 1863. He was a precocious lad and excelled in all he did. He also used to practice meditation right from a young age. As a young man, Narendra went through a period of deep spiritual crisis when he doubted the existence of God. Hearing about Sri Ramakrishna from one of his teachers, he went to meet him. The legend goes that when Narendra met Sri Ramakrishna, he straightaway asked the Master a question: “Sir, have you seen God?” Without a moment’s hesitation, Sri Ramakrishna replied: “Yes, I have. I see Him as clearly as I see you, only in a much intenser sense.” Sri Ramakrishna slowly won Narendra over through his pure, unselfish love. After the Master's passing, Narendra and 15 others who were with the Master formed a monastic brotherhood. Narendra then took the name of Swami Vivekananda.
The Swamiji's 7 Little Truths:
1. Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. Relationships work best when they are balanced.
2. Never explain yourself to anyone. Because, the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person who doesn't like you won't believe you.
3. When you keep saying you are busy, then you are never free. When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have any time. When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.
4. When we wake up in the morning, we have two choices: Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. The choice is yours.
5. We make them cry who care for us. We cry for those who have never cared for us. And we care for those who will never cry for us. This is the truth of life - it's strange but true. Once you realize this, it's never too late to change.
6. Don't make promises when you are in joy. Don't reply when you are sad. Don't take decisions when you are angry. Think twice, act once.
7.Time is like a river. You can't touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.
18 January 2017
No matter how close or close-but-not-so-close a relationship is...
one has to withdraw oneself once in a while.
It is through many sad and bitter moments that I have learned this truth. When things go well and the sun is shining and birds are singing, I've felt nothing can ever go wrong with any of my relationships. How wrong I've been - how terribly, horribly wrong. Now I know that no matter how well things are going and it seems that nothing can ever go wrong again, sooner or later something is going to happen to disprove this. And, as it usually happens, I plunge into a dark abyss....an abyss of confusion, blaming myself, feelings of utter and total 'what a rubbish, useless person I am'......everything sad/bad goes round and round and round in my head. So many times my DD has had to pull...no, haul me out of this abyss. If I try to pull myself out, it takes a long time... and finally, it is only with the greatest difficulty that I manage to wade through the painful confusion. Now I've learnt and I'm sharing this because it is working for me...when everything seems rosy and gay, I pull myself into myself. Just withdraw into my special place and become, not distant, but a little aloof, putting in place a distance between me and whoever the person is. This is really helping me. Because, for one, when the hurtful words start, I'm already not there and for the other, I am able to retain my cool and carry on being civil and okay (not okay-okay, but okay enough to not start the circle of anger-blame-pain). After a bit of this, I see that things get normal again with no real hard-horrible feelings. The Kabbalah says that these instances happen to us because they are meant to happen - they are meant for us so that we can correct our course. Somewhere we are going wrong and need to fine tune ourselves - not for anyone or any specific relationship, but just for ourselves so that we become better people. The best is that I'm finding strengths in myself that I never knew I had, and am able to cope with the flaws that show up. I see how wrong my beliefs in certain people and things were and how they need to be corrected/changed/reworked. I see how I can renew myself. In fact, in withdrawing into myself, not only am I more able to cope with and handle relationships - I'm seeing them all so clearly now - but I am in a better and calmer space...the many fears are ebbing, and the space is filling up with more strength, more forgiveness and more compassion and empathy...
It is through many sad and bitter moments that I have learned this truth. When things go well and the sun is shining and birds are singing, I've felt nothing can ever go wrong with any of my relationships. How wrong I've been - how terribly, horribly wrong. Now I know that no matter how well things are going and it seems that nothing can ever go wrong again, sooner or later something is going to happen to disprove this. And, as it usually happens, I plunge into a dark abyss....an abyss of confusion, blaming myself, feelings of utter and total 'what a rubbish, useless person I am'......everything sad/bad goes round and round and round in my head. So many times my DD has had to pull...no, haul me out of this abyss. If I try to pull myself out, it takes a long time... and finally, it is only with the greatest difficulty that I manage to wade through the painful confusion. Now I've learnt and I'm sharing this because it is working for me...when everything seems rosy and gay, I pull myself into myself. Just withdraw into my special place and become, not distant, but a little aloof, putting in place a distance between me and whoever the person is. This is really helping me. Because, for one, when the hurtful words start, I'm already not there and for the other, I am able to retain my cool and carry on being civil and okay (not okay-okay, but okay enough to not start the circle of anger-blame-pain). After a bit of this, I see that things get normal again with no real hard-horrible feelings. The Kabbalah says that these instances happen to us because they are meant to happen - they are meant for us so that we can correct our course. Somewhere we are going wrong and need to fine tune ourselves - not for anyone or any specific relationship, but just for ourselves so that we become better people. The best is that I'm finding strengths in myself that I never knew I had, and am able to cope with the flaws that show up. I see how wrong my beliefs in certain people and things were and how they need to be corrected/changed/reworked. I see how I can renew myself. In fact, in withdrawing into myself, not only am I more able to cope with and handle relationships - I'm seeing them all so clearly now - but I am in a better and calmer space...the many fears are ebbing, and the space is filling up with more strength, more forgiveness and more compassion and empathy...
Two wonderful truths...
To keep impermanence always before your eyes makes everything sacred, because it always could be otherwise.
- Kristi Nelson -
My faith was strong and I knew I wasn't still here on Earth to be mad about what I looked like. I just felt blessed that I was alive.
- These words were spoken by Melissa Dohme, from Florida, who was 20 years old when she was stabbed more than 30 times and left for dead by her ex-boyfriend. Against all the odds she survived. The first time she looked in the mirror she just sobbed. 'It was devastating,' she said. (http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-38302839)
- Kristi Nelson -
My faith was strong and I knew I wasn't still here on Earth to be mad about what I looked like. I just felt blessed that I was alive.
- These words were spoken by Melissa Dohme, from Florida, who was 20 years old when she was stabbed more than 30 times and left for dead by her ex-boyfriend. Against all the odds she survived. The first time she looked in the mirror she just sobbed. 'It was devastating,' she said. (http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-38302839)
16 January 2017
The single thing we need to work towards this year is...
freedom.
As poet and onetime slave Phillis Wheatley wrote in 1774: “In every human breast, God has implanted a principle, which we call Love of Freedom; it is impatient of Oppression, and pants for Deliverance.”
I've quoted this before but I feel the need to keep reading this because if we want to get out of the web of perception-related issues and daily struggles with ourselves, we have to first of all desperately want to be free in our hearts and minds. If it is our thoughts that are limiting us, then we need to work on this. We have to break free of all binding and limiting factors. We have to find the determination to be free.
I know we have lots of responsibilities to fulfil every single day....something or the other keeps cropping up that needs our full-time attention. However, we have to remember that while all relationships are important, the relationship with ourselves is the most important - not in the egoistic sense of the word, but in the sense of working on ourselves to free ourselves from all the things that get in the way of our own growth, that limit us, that make us feel small and unworthy. This will help us to become more complete people, help us live our life to the fullest and also help us in our relationship with others.
This is not going to be easy. Nor is it going to happen overnight. It is a long and sometimes arduous struggle to make ourselves free....We will fall, but we pick ourselves up and go on striving to achieve that all important goal of freedom...This is the only thing that has any meaning in life and that can, in fact, give meaning to life.
As poet and onetime slave Phillis Wheatley wrote in 1774: “In every human breast, God has implanted a principle, which we call Love of Freedom; it is impatient of Oppression, and pants for Deliverance.”
I've quoted this before but I feel the need to keep reading this because if we want to get out of the web of perception-related issues and daily struggles with ourselves, we have to first of all desperately want to be free in our hearts and minds. If it is our thoughts that are limiting us, then we need to work on this. We have to break free of all binding and limiting factors. We have to find the determination to be free.
I know we have lots of responsibilities to fulfil every single day....something or the other keeps cropping up that needs our full-time attention. However, we have to remember that while all relationships are important, the relationship with ourselves is the most important - not in the egoistic sense of the word, but in the sense of working on ourselves to free ourselves from all the things that get in the way of our own growth, that limit us, that make us feel small and unworthy. This will help us to become more complete people, help us live our life to the fullest and also help us in our relationship with others.
This is not going to be easy. Nor is it going to happen overnight. It is a long and sometimes arduous struggle to make ourselves free....We will fall, but we pick ourselves up and go on striving to achieve that all important goal of freedom...This is the only thing that has any meaning in life and that can, in fact, give meaning to life.
13 January 2017
Some more thoughts on perception...
We need to work on internalizing this.
1. On needing validation. We have to stop seeking validation. For this we need to examine ourselves and see if we have become so dependent on what others think about us, that all our words and actions are geared to this end.... We choose our thoughts and actions not in response to what we truthfully feel about the issues we passionately feel about or about the circumstances and situations we find ourselves in, but for how this one, that one or the other one is going to view what we say or do and by extension view us. We are desperately seeking to be complimented, loved and for this are willing to tailor-make every word and action of ours. It is a good feeling when we are complimented, no doubt - what we need to examine is if our words and actions ring with truth or with this need to be complimented and thus perceive ourselves to be great. We allow ourselves to feel valued or devalued according to the perception of others.
2. On approving ourselves. How people respond to what we say or do does not determine our worth. They perceive something and act according to their lights....but that perception may be totally off the mark. So do we then trash ourselves, or raise ourselves up? We have to love ourselves enough not to be swayed by someone's perceptions of us....if we are wrong, life will put us on the right track and if we are right, we will enjoy the happiness that is due to us.
3. On giving our inner power away. If we change and mould our lives according to how we want to be seen by others, in other words by how people perceive us, remember that perceptions - either our perceptions of others or others perceptions of us merely drains our inner power. We have to spend time with ourselves to know what we are all about...
1. On needing validation. We have to stop seeking validation. For this we need to examine ourselves and see if we have become so dependent on what others think about us, that all our words and actions are geared to this end.... We choose our thoughts and actions not in response to what we truthfully feel about the issues we passionately feel about or about the circumstances and situations we find ourselves in, but for how this one, that one or the other one is going to view what we say or do and by extension view us. We are desperately seeking to be complimented, loved and for this are willing to tailor-make every word and action of ours. It is a good feeling when we are complimented, no doubt - what we need to examine is if our words and actions ring with truth or with this need to be complimented and thus perceive ourselves to be great. We allow ourselves to feel valued or devalued according to the perception of others.
2. On approving ourselves. How people respond to what we say or do does not determine our worth. They perceive something and act according to their lights....but that perception may be totally off the mark. So do we then trash ourselves, or raise ourselves up? We have to love ourselves enough not to be swayed by someone's perceptions of us....if we are wrong, life will put us on the right track and if we are right, we will enjoy the happiness that is due to us.
3. On giving our inner power away. If we change and mould our lives according to how we want to be seen by others, in other words by how people perceive us, remember that perceptions - either our perceptions of others or others perceptions of us merely drains our inner power. We have to spend time with ourselves to know what we are all about...
11 January 2017
Contrary...
to what is thought, participation does not mean one has to answer or even join in a conversation that is acrimonious in it nature. If one of two persons talking to each other starts off on another track and the conversation becomes harsh and blaming and nasty, the best and wisest thing to do is to just keep quiet, that is, if you cannot walk away.
In conversation of a provocative nature, two things happen - first is the reaction to what is said and second is the response to it. (Remember provocation can be inciting or provoking, or it may be something that goes against your grain).
No matter how provocative, no matter how unkind and unfair and harsh the words, your reaction should be to keep quiet. Force yourself to be quiet. For this, twist your fingers, pinch yourself, whatever... Just be quiet. Then decide how you want to respond. You may walk away, but not in anger. But if you want to speak, you'll be surprised to see how calmly you choose what you want to say. You'll see that there is a kind of stillness and peacefulness that pervades your heart and inner self. There is no bitterness inside you, nor hurt, nor anger....just a quietness of spirit. And you feel strong in that quietness.
Try it....it works.
In conversation of a provocative nature, two things happen - first is the reaction to what is said and second is the response to it. (Remember provocation can be inciting or provoking, or it may be something that goes against your grain).
No matter how provocative, no matter how unkind and unfair and harsh the words, your reaction should be to keep quiet. Force yourself to be quiet. For this, twist your fingers, pinch yourself, whatever... Just be quiet. Then decide how you want to respond. You may walk away, but not in anger. But if you want to speak, you'll be surprised to see how calmly you choose what you want to say. You'll see that there is a kind of stillness and peacefulness that pervades your heart and inner self. There is no bitterness inside you, nor hurt, nor anger....just a quietness of spirit. And you feel strong in that quietness.
Try it....it works.
09 January 2017
A New Year starts...
to unfold. No idea what it has in store...one can only open one's eyes to each new day and pray for strength to get through whatever the day has in store.
We'd gone to this absolutely wonderful forest reserve - the Pench National Park. It is also a tiger reserve. The place we stayed in - The Pench Jungle Camp - is a beautiful property. The resort is like a camp, and it is set in a forest area. It was an amazing experience to once again reconnect with Nature - Nature at its best.
After a very peaceful stay here, I went on to my nephew's wedding.
Back home....
I had the time and space to think about a lot of things during the time spent in Pench, at the wedding, and on the journeys.
1. Perception. How different perception is from reality. Perception depends on the state of mind we are in at that moment; it depends on how we are feeling physically; it tends to get entangled in the processes of our thinking and feeling; and, there is the danger of old knowledge and old thoughts, drawn from the deep recesses of the mind, pushing themselves into the present. I'll give you one example - a friend saw me yesterday and said I was looking fairer after the holiday. Few hours later, another friend saw me and asked me what I had done to myself - I was looking darker than before I had gone on the holiday. Fact is my face didn't change color in the space of a few hours....it was the same. Why were the two comments so different? One clue is that while the first friend is coming out of a phase of depression and feeling upbeat about life, the other friend has recently lost her husband and is trying to come to terms with her new life. See, it is our perceptions of one fact that change, not the fact in itself. I do know that the first reaction to something hurtful said to us is one of disbelief followed by a whole storm of words pouring out helter-skelter. Give a few hours, or even a couple of days and our response to the hurtful words said may well be - oh forget it....it's not worth thinking about. The words have remained the same through both reactions....our perception has changed.
It is not what happens to us, but how we perceive it that determines our quality of life. - Kabbalah meditation
This is why it is so important to create that space around us which will just help us to walk away from situations we don't feel we can deal with.
2. Justifying ourselves. As always when in a spot I talk to my DD. At one point, she asked me point blank why I was so keen on justifying myself. This brought me up short and I realized that a lot of the time this is what I tend to do. Why? Because I don't want to be thought badly about. (Chances are that after all my desperate justifying myself, the person still sticks to his point of view anyway!) But does it really matter what others think? If you think about it------NO. It really does not matter what anyone thinks about us. What matters is that we act according to our conscience. If that is clear, then nothing else matters. Fact is the only person/people we matter to, would not, ever, put us in situations where we have to justify ourselves.They will believe us implicitly. So, in fact, we are justifying ourselves to people who really don't matter to us...we want the approval of those who have no role to play in our lives...and who are eminently forgettable.
“When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful.” - Caroline Myss
We'd gone to this absolutely wonderful forest reserve - the Pench National Park. It is also a tiger reserve. The place we stayed in - The Pench Jungle Camp - is a beautiful property. The resort is like a camp, and it is set in a forest area. It was an amazing experience to once again reconnect with Nature - Nature at its best.
After a very peaceful stay here, I went on to my nephew's wedding.
Back home....
I had the time and space to think about a lot of things during the time spent in Pench, at the wedding, and on the journeys.
1. Perception. How different perception is from reality. Perception depends on the state of mind we are in at that moment; it depends on how we are feeling physically; it tends to get entangled in the processes of our thinking and feeling; and, there is the danger of old knowledge and old thoughts, drawn from the deep recesses of the mind, pushing themselves into the present. I'll give you one example - a friend saw me yesterday and said I was looking fairer after the holiday. Few hours later, another friend saw me and asked me what I had done to myself - I was looking darker than before I had gone on the holiday. Fact is my face didn't change color in the space of a few hours....it was the same. Why were the two comments so different? One clue is that while the first friend is coming out of a phase of depression and feeling upbeat about life, the other friend has recently lost her husband and is trying to come to terms with her new life. See, it is our perceptions of one fact that change, not the fact in itself. I do know that the first reaction to something hurtful said to us is one of disbelief followed by a whole storm of words pouring out helter-skelter. Give a few hours, or even a couple of days and our response to the hurtful words said may well be - oh forget it....it's not worth thinking about. The words have remained the same through both reactions....our perception has changed.
It is not what happens to us, but how we perceive it that determines our quality of life. - Kabbalah meditation
This is why it is so important to create that space around us which will just help us to walk away from situations we don't feel we can deal with.
2. Justifying ourselves. As always when in a spot I talk to my DD. At one point, she asked me point blank why I was so keen on justifying myself. This brought me up short and I realized that a lot of the time this is what I tend to do. Why? Because I don't want to be thought badly about. (Chances are that after all my desperate justifying myself, the person still sticks to his point of view anyway!) But does it really matter what others think? If you think about it------NO. It really does not matter what anyone thinks about us. What matters is that we act according to our conscience. If that is clear, then nothing else matters. Fact is the only person/people we matter to, would not, ever, put us in situations where we have to justify ourselves.They will believe us implicitly. So, in fact, we are justifying ourselves to people who really don't matter to us...we want the approval of those who have no role to play in our lives...and who are eminently forgettable.
“When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful.” - Caroline Myss
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