piece of African wisdom:
Hold but do not grasp.
How incredibly wise! And believe me, while thinking about this and meditating on it, I realized how true it is.....in every single circumstance of life and in every single challenge life puts in our way.
Not only is this statement absolutely true, but it works... I'm pulling out everything that has come my way and I realize that all my grief and sorrow and pain and trouble has come because I went beyond holding....I was grasping for emotional security. I was grasping for recognition in my field of expertise. I was grasping for friendship. I was grasping for financial security and freedom. I was grasping anyone who showed affection. I was grasping for emotional freedom. I was grasping the spiritual strength that I was blessed with in one situation - wanting it to happen in all situations of life. I was grasping at relationships. I was grasping......and grasping.....and grasping....thinking that if I held on, it would stay with me......the people I was grasping would stay with me.....And this did not happen and now I realize that it will never happen because that is not the way of Life...
Life says 'Hold' and to hold means to cherish the moments of holding....cherishing a friendship, cherishing a love, cherishing anything that is important to us....
Holding has inbuilt into it the element of relinquishing....and thus at any moment we are called upon to relinquish what/who we are holding. This relinquishing does not have any bitterness in it....it is just a releasing...
And so we learn that it is only in holding that the mind and heart find peace...grasping and hanging on would only result in bitterness...