to get out of someone else's shadow, even if the shadow is that of our parents.
It is not possible to live someone else's ideals or someone else's dreams or think or do what someone else might have done. It's just not possible. Children are different from their parents. Agreed they draw their genetic map from their parents, but after that, as they grow, their environment and their experiences add on dimensions that give them their very own distinctive personalities. And this, as parents, we have to respect.
It is the same with us adults. As we grow older, day by day, we read, learn see and experience all kinds of things. We also process all that we observe/think/feel/realize/analyze differently - differently even from what we were a day ago... Understandable then, that we become different - gradually but surely - even from those we have grown up with or live with. No matter how divergent we become from those who know us and who we claim to know, we have to accord them the same respect that we have for ourselves.
Loving is meant to absorb all these differences...because the bedrock of loving is respect...respect for the person of your child/spouse/friend...whoever... and, the very first requirement of respect is to respect the fact that the other person needs his/her own space...light...air...to grow. Shadowing a person would be, in fact, not respecting the fact that the person we are shadowing is capable of growth without us. Be there for each other....but.....everyone needs to make their own mistakes.
We must neither overshadow anyone nor be overshadowed by anyone.....no matter how close the relationship....we all need sunlight, darkness, and air to breathe and grow...