Lao-Tzu says: “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
This is the most difficult thing to do......to just keep quiet, keep my thoughts and opinions and ideas to myself, and WAIT for the turbulent waves and rush in my heart and mind to settle down. I need to focus only on the task at hand...keep myself centered only on what I am doing at the moment.
We plan our days up to the minute, hoping we'll have time for reading, resting, me-time, or to do the one thing that has been waiting to get done, and which we keep putting off waiting for a conducive time. It could be that we are just plain tired of everything, that we are feeling totally jaded about everything....All we want to do is to curl up with a book. But there are chores to be done, food to be put on the table, clothes to be washed...etc..etc....etc... There is also the soul crying out for a bit of quiet...for some rest...for a snooze...to just sit still...
The day just seems to be taking off on its own momentum.
So what then?
Here are some practical steps for learning how to go with the flow...
1. Realize that you can’t control everything - Realize and accept that there are many things that are beyond our control and they are going to happen anyway.
2. Become aware - Observe your mind - what are the thoughts that are popping up...what are the feelings that are surging. Once you are aware of these, you can then begin to push them out or do something to let them just go. (What you do...what you have figured out for yourself as something to do to let disturbing/disruptive thoughts go is uniquely what works for you.)
3. Breathe - This is extremely important. Breathe deeply and observe your breath coming into your body and leaving your body. And, with each breath, let go of the poison and upset........and take in Nature.....breathe in Nature.
4. Check to see if your perspective is right - Take a step back. Put a little distance between yourself and what is happening to throw you off balance. Tell yourself, a few hours...days...weeks...a year from now this is not going to be important. No one will remember and no one will care so then, why should you break your head and heart over this.
5. Laugh - Laugh at the mistake you've made, laugh at the absurdity of the situation, laugh at what is happening............laugh even if you don't feel like laughing. This helps detach you from the unhappy/unpleasant situation you find yourself in.
6. Meditate - This is an absolute must. Find a place where you can sit quietly. If you like, you can light a candle.....do whatever it takes to make this little space of yours conducive to your just sitting still. The first thing you have to do is to do some deep breathing. After that, see where your mind takes you....maybe you feel like doing a review.....maybe you feel like just doing nothing......just BE STILL.
7. Remember, always, that you cannot control other people or events - Every human being, even those close to us, those we love, even our children, our parents, are people in their own rights. They have their own personalities and they will act according to their own lights. Accept this. It's hard to do, but it has to be done.
8. Accept change - Change is hard for all of us and for some it is downright traumatic.... But, the hard fact is that things change...people change...circumstances change...the world is constantly changing...we are constantly changing.
9. Accept that there is imperfection - Things or people or situations or conditions are never what we want them to be...there are a thousand imperfections in all we see. But then we are not perfect either! We have to accept this fact.
10. Learn to enjoy - Enjoy the world as it is. Appreciate people as they are. Savor life...as it happens. Life is not static. It may become messy, it may be harsh, it may show brilliant, brief shots of beauty and kindness... Life is not going to wait for you....it is on the move, so you need to take cheerfully whatever comes your way.
The three important riders are:
1. Practice - This is an ongoing process. Do this again and again and again till it becomes a part of you.
2. Take baby steps - Take one incident at a time. Don't be disheartened if you fail once, twice, a hundred times....there is still another time...and you will succeed in going with the flow.
3. Keep a journal - Make a note of why you got upset, why you let something get under your skin, why you did what you did and which ended up in grief. This will help you focus on what you can do next time. See, what works for me may not work for you - you have to find what will bring you back to the center....It may not be one thing. It may be different things in different circumstances. Checking with your journal will help you remember and keep you focused.
(I find great peace in the teachings of Zen and my search led me to this site which I have shared with you - http://zenhabits.net/12-practical-steps-for-learning-to-go-with-the-flow/)