On Wednesday I talked about going with the flow. Here is another phrase that will surely help.
Why I'm bringing this in is because I have not been able to understand or practice going with the flow successfully all the time. I live in a challenging situation and my search for inner calm and peace have led me to this....(all the time I'm looking for concepts that I can work on and do to help me)
The phrase, I learnt, that is connected with 'going with the flow' is --- to roll with the punches...
The Free Dictionary explains this very well. To roll with the punches means -
----to absorb the force of a blow. Don't try to get even - this is a mistake we make because we feel that some of the blows are just so unfair....and so unjustly slammed on us... We feel, 'We are not like this', and then we try to prove that we are not what is being said about us.....try to prove that we do not deserve what is being done to us...and this never, ever, ever works. Absorbing the force of the blow would imply stepping back or moving away to one side as we are being hit by the 'blows of life'.
----to adjust to difficult events as they happen - without shutting our mind to them or finding explanations. Just put one foot in front of the other on the tiny path that appears in front of us.
----to be able to deal well with difficulties or criticism - Half--no---more than half the time people say and do nasty things without realizing what they are doing. Maybe they are having a bad hair day, or maybe they are hurting....whatever the reason they take it out on others. If such a thing happens to us, idea is for us to just laugh it off, no matter how hurtful, or just walk away, or just plain ignore. Yes, if there is truth in what they are saying, then we can do what has to be done to fix it - but this would be for ourselves...we want to be right...we want to be a better person...we don't want to be hurtful.
----Cope with and withstand adversity, especially by being flexible. Here flexible would mean just moving away. If possible you see the other person's point of view, but if you feel the gall and hurt and anger and upset rising up from deep inside you, the best thing would be to just FORCE yourself to move away. Blank out. Go away from that place - maybe a walk or to the gym. Do something...anything..like sitting with the Dictionary and Thesaurus to work out a crossword puzzle even though nothing is quite going into your head. Pick up a favorite book and just go through the motions of reading......
Work towards developing the patience to seek clarity in the unhappy situation or circumstance you find yourself in. Be honest with yourself without being judgmental about yourself...this will lead to being non-judgmental about others too, gradually.
Work towards acquiring simplicity. This means learning to be open-minded, and free from any kind of prejudice. It means being restrained in our actions and removing all complication born out of being self-focused. It means not getting entangled in explanations or getting into condemning mode - condemning ourself/the other person/the unfair, unjust situation/the contentious issue. It means not trying to force things to happen. Simplicity means trying to think clearly and see things clearly.
Both patience and simplicity require us to develop our mental strength...the determination to work towards rising above what is spoiling the tranquility and serenity of our mind and heart.
Thus what we need are patience, simplicity, and the strength of mind to let life flow....to roll with the punches...