The sad/bad/painful/hurtful things that happen to us eventually make us stronger people. I'm not talking about rape and plunder and devastation and wilful killing....These are unforgivable crimes and I don't even know how we can deal with these, if at all we can, that is,....I'm talking about the daily hurts and setbacks one faces. Sometimes we can deal with them, but sometimes they tend to break us and sometimes, they do break our backs. The Kabbalah says these sad/bad/painful/hurtful things happen in order to create space for the Light to enter our beings which have got all dark and scary. I do believe they happen because we do need things that will make us stronger people. Why? So that we may enjoy this gift of life more, so that we may make the most of our own inner gifts and talents, so that we may appreciate more the happy/good/joyful/healing things that do happen. Learning to accept that the sad/bad/painful/hurtful things are as much a part of life as the happy/good/joyful/healing things will make it easier for us to stay on an even keel, not blame anyone, especially our parents and siblings for having put us through sad/bad/painful/hurtful experiences, not rail at God asking how He can let sad/bad/painful/hurtful things happen to His children, not curse our fate, not generally freak out....
If we say that happy/good/joyful/healing things elevate us, then the sad/bad/painful/hurtful things happen so that we can appreciate the happy/good/joyful/healing things and in the dealing with the sad/bad/painful/hurtful things become stronger and better people.
Quoting from Brené Brown:
Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness in our lives; it's the process that teaches us the most about who we are.
And,
The resilient has some form of spiritual life rooted in love and belonging - be it communion with nature or meditation practice or the reverence of art or the divinity of solitude.