that whenever we are up against some kind of trouble, or we are hurt, or there is some sorrow we are trying to grapple with, it is because there is something in us that needs to be chipped away, repaired, changed, rethought.... Our trouble/hurt/pain has not happened randomly. Nothing but nothing happens randomly. While there is one way of thinking that says that what happens to us is all part of the karma we create, I believe that what happens is because there is something that needs fixing in us...
Try this out: Next time things don't go the way you planned, or someone has said something hurtful or to put you down, just become quiet-withdraw into yourself, which is the safest and kindest and most soul-nourishing place to be. Initially, you may have to force yourself to keep quiet - but soon, it will become easier to become still and quiet inside of yourself, even as you carry on doing whatever you have to do. Gradually you will see that the knots get untangled and the muddied/muddled feeling in the mind and heart get cleared up and smoothed out.
It's the same with unplanned things that happen. You are doing something you have planned for, or maybe you are looking forward to a time alone, or you have something planned on your agenda - something that you've been wanting to do for sometime. Bang! Something totally disruptive happens and there go all your plans. Worse, you feel pressured, hemmed in and forced upon to deal with what has just happened, and shelve for a future time what you have been so looking forward to doing. Once again, I'm speaking from experience....Take a deep breath and deal with the disruptive thing that has come up as neatly and best as you can. What happens is that not only does this unplanned 'bit of trouble' get done but it also leaves you time to either still do what you wanted, or gives you the space to do something else that you have been wanting to do...so it is a win for you....you've dealt with the irritant and been able to do something you like/love to do.......without too much damage to your peace of mind and heart.
Both of these - becoming still and quiet inside of yourself, as well as dealing with irritants are eminently do-able, believe me...