start with us. First we learn to respect ourselves as we are and as we are striving to be...as we are dreaming we want to be. We learn to love ourselves despite hundreds of reasons that pop into our minds telling us we should not love ourselves...or asking how we could love ourselves after____(whatever). We learn to forgive ourselves for our wrong actions, wrong thoughts, for flying off the handle, for things we did or words we spoke unthinkingly, for hurting someone, the numerous things we wished we had not done....
Our first response of blaming our situation or our circumstances or other people does not hold any water because trying to shift the blame does not exonerate us or paint us in brilliant white, though that is, in effect, what we are trying to do...
So, cut the blame part right out. Forgive yourself. Then do things to show your respect and love for yourself.
And then share this with one other person who is struggling with these issues...
Life is a journey, so we cannot stop at a point and think this is how it is going to be forever, and feel either elated or desperate. We are constantly carving out our own special road for ourselves and we are forever a work in progress till our journey ends...