I just used this phrase...

Emotional pirate

in my blog 'Gleanings'

It's a wonderful way to describe those who have taken hold of our minds, our thinking, and our emotions in a negative way...

Emotional pirates are pirates who leave you feeling emotionally looted with their talk of sacrifice, torment, or good deeds, or whatever....always claiming your attention with themselves.

As Martha Beck says, the first thing would be to recognize if there is an emotional pirate in our lives, and then to take the necessary precautions against further looting. The steps she advocates are as follows:

1. Make sure you are comfortable. Because only then will you feel strong. Remember pirates attack those they think look weak. So do what it takes to make you feel strong and good about yourself.

2. Do not feel guilty. This is not a moral high horse that you are getting on to. This is a fact that has to be dealt with. According to the newsletter, these are the tests that will clarify what you feel:

You feel joy, delight; you're loose, energized.

Your emotions are pleasant, your body relaxed.

You feel weariness. Your body may feel tense.

You feel resentful. Your body is very tense.

You're angry, even if you think you shouldn't be. Your muscles are contracted, maybe enough to create pain in your neck, head, back, shoulders, and/or jaw.

Now, to test for pirate potential in any individual, keep that person in mind and imagine the various scenarios that feature him/her. Notice your reactions. Gauge your reaction on a scale of 1 to 5.

Accordingly, you'll know if this person is a 'crewmate' (definitely a good friend), 'friendly vessel' (casual pal), 'merchant ship' (a person who gives attention with the aim of getting something out of it, so there's no emotional support here!), Or, 'pirate' (looting you emotionally).

We've all encountered brigands on the high seas of life. While you come across friendly vessels or crewmates, you also come across those who are whiny--always wanting attention without ever paying it back. So even if you are in need of a shoulder, they are so busy turning everything around to focus on themselves that you feel totally drained and wonder what that was all about.

3. Now it's time to get anti-piracy measure in place. You can sail away; or batten your hatches (just be civil, nothing more; no matter what, preserve yourself); or hide your treasure (focus on what interests you).

4. Head for calmer seas. If you have allowed a pirate into your life, and you know you have been plundered, don't beat yourself up. It happens sometimes. Take notes, go at your own speed, and see what you can do to slowly head for the high seas yourself!!

In continuation with...

my blog of October 20...

Talking about unanswered dreams and prayers, I came across this wonderful line from a favorite book that I frequently dip into: The Bridges of Madison County.

When Francesca tells Robert Kincaid that though her present life is good, 'it's not what I dreamed about as a girl,' he shares a thought that came to him while he was driving. It went like this: The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them.

And, at another point he says, 'The reality is not exactly what we want the song to be, but it's not a bad song.'

Uplifting thoughts, especially when the days look bleak.

There's no such time as...

a time to rest on our oars...

Every day comes with its quota of challenges. Some we can handle, some turn out real good, some we goof up on, and some we downright fail on.

Chuck the ones we didn't come out tops in, laugh at the ones we goofed up on, pat ourselves for the ones we handled, and draw strength from the ones we did good in....

and.....

Get ready for the next day's challenges.....

I do believe that when life is looked at this way, it offers a great deal of peace of mind and a feeling of gentle happiness pervades us, and, best of all, life can turn our quite fun!!

This is Mental Health Awareness week...

One in three of us go through some kind of traumatic experience (sometimes many traumatic experiences) at some point or other in our lives.

We need to assure and reassure those suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks (as well as ourselves if we are in this situation) that these are not signs of weakness. They are signs of having tried very hard and for way too long.

We need to let those who struggle with their personal traumas know that they are not alone, that they are loved and surrounded by a lot of people who care.

Send out hugs and love every day....someone is sure to feel it.....and know they are not alone...that they are loved...

There are so many things we dream about...

what we'll become, or what we'll have, or what we'll do, places we'll see, new ground we'll break.....so many things.

And then life puts in places that have no semblance to what we dreamed about. It also puts us in situations where often the choices are between a hard place and a rock, and we take decisions that to us at that time and place, with the experiences we've gone through, our life views at that time, our mental-emotional-psychological stage of the time, seem the only right one, or rather the only one we can make.

No matter how many people tell us we could do things differently, give options which in themselves are very viable ones, they are not in our shoes---only we know what is going to work and how it will work.....

So never blame yourself or put yourself down or get angry with life - whatever we decide is what we think is best under the circumstances we find ourselves in....so chin up and go on...and keep giving of your best wherever you find yourself.

In a state of illness...

when the boundaries blur, and there are tussles inside about just lying down and sleeping or getting up and doing the zillion things that need to be done, one thing that helps me to stay calm, is images...these are a few pix I took in Pemyangtse....they're not professional - just memories...

All powerful motivators...

talk about creating ourselves......this is in line with my thinking on 'Limitations'.

We read, over and over, in different words, or put in different ways, that it is our thoughts that shape us and that if we can but channel our thoughts, we're well on the way to creating ourselves.

I think that creating ourselves is also about defining who we are....that is the first thing. So, what do we enjoy by way of food, dressing, reading, movies, music.....and on to the million little things that we really enjoy but maybe have kept hidden these past years.....this would include....which fragrances do we like, which perfume, what kind of hair clips or combs to wear in our hair, what colors do we like our clothes to be in, what kind of clothes make us feel good about ourself, what kind of jewellery.......and on even up to how would we would like our own special corner to look, or furniture arranged, or table set....and so on....

Then, we move on a step up, to, 'what kind of person would I like to be?'....this could be drawn from people we admire, it could be something we had dreamed of but which we had buried under the years, it could be taken from things we read...something attractive and which have moved us powerfully...the inspiration and resonance could be from anywhere or anyone....

And so, we take the first tentative steps to creating ourselves....without limitations....