own what you say.
I believe this is hugely important. So often we are at the receiving end of what someone says callously, without thinking of the implications of what they are saying, or indifferently, thus negating what we feel, and sometimes in a manner that puts us down. And later, how often we've had to hear statements like - I didn't mean it that way... Come on, why are you being so sensitive... Can you not take a joke? I was only pulling your leg... and many other similar statements. A response to something said insensitively, that particularly galls me is, Oops I'm sorry. One may argue that saying sorry is enough. Believe me, it isn't. We can cover this up by saying the tone matters, the manner in which it is said matters, the occasion matters etcetcetc.... But, that's not the point. None of these excuses works.
To be able to own what we say requires huge strength of character and guts, because chances are it may require us to take some kind of punishment. On a deeper level, to own what we say will require us to introspect. Nine times out of ten we see that the people who have unthinkingly shot their mouth off with something hurtful, something that they know has hit their target, bull's eye, try to hide behind arguments and reasons making matters worse. Yet, if they own what they say, it is easier to accept their apology and maybe that would lead to something better at a later stage...for the person who apologizes genuinely as well as for the hurt person.
What do we get out of 'this is what I am take it or leave it', or of being proud of oneself for always speaking their mind and to hell with the consequences, or, 'I always say what I think'...What do we get out of hurting anyone. Even a person who drives us nuts, or is rude with us, or hurtful with us has a soft spot somewhere deep in his/her psyche and our responding by saying what comes first into our mouth, or whatever comes to mind at that difficult moment doesn't help.
We are, in the end, as diminished by our hurtful, cruel words when we say them or hear them. It is only when we realize and accept the fact that we have to own what we say that we become more complete people...