are the two constants in our lives.
We - and for people like me it happens all too often - tend to think that if we are going through some struggle or some kind of conflict, there is something wrong with us - something wrong with the way we are thinking or with the way we are doing things, with our attitudes or with our perceptions. The tendency is to blame ourselves. If we make mistakes, we blame ourselves, and if someone reacts unkindly or unfairly, then also we blame ourselves. Naturally, this has its own fall-outs and consequences - often in the form of some sort of struggle with ourselves or conflicts with others which naturally comes back to us.
Of course, there are times when we try to put the blame on others, even though we know we cannot control how others act/react or think or how they talk or what they say.
But there are many more times when we tend to blame ourselves.
We all want to live 'happily ever after' lives. Hence, any kind of conflict or struggle is an aberration and our first reaction is one of distress thereby sending the happiness factor far, far away. However, looking at it dispassionately, conflict and struggle is built into our lives. Starting with birth - birth happens after a great deal of pain and struggle. But the result - one of happiness at a new baby. Look at the baby - it undergoes a great struggle to adapt to a new environment...when the little one starts to adjust, he/she starts to grow. In fact, every tiny step of our growth is a struggle - as we overcome each struggle, painfully, we grow that much more in clarity and wisdom. Our perceptions become stronger and, best of all, we become more flexible as we give up our rigidness and try to learn new ways and new things.... in the process, enriching the whole process of living.
Every kind of growth has conflict and struggle built into the process.
Thus, conflict and struggle just ARE. They are neither good nor bad. They are a fact of life. When we recognize this fact and acknowledge it, it will bring clarity to our thinking. We learn to forgive because of conflict - forgive ourselves and others. But, we must not, must not, must not think of conflict and struggle as our enemies.....In a peculiar and paradoxical way they are our friends for they help bring about a change for the better...make us better people....and thus bring about a sense of peace...