16 August 2013

Words are so inadequate...

when up against grief...

There are many things one can call to mind: God will not test us beyond our strength; He knows the flight path of every bird and life span of every flower; He knows what we have need of and never fails us....true, absolutely and a hundred percent true....but we also need to give a thought to our part - how can we help, what can we do....form a support group for a woman going through a messy divorce; help a single mother with baby sitting or grocery shopping or getting her a movie to watch or a book to read, helping her get a little time to herself; reach out to say that you are just a call away; send flowers or a plant; give a hug giving her the reassurance that she is not alone....There are so many ways you can show your solidarity besides just mouthing words....Never give suggestions that you cannot do yourself or that you cannot help out with or that you cannot follow through....never....just hold her hand and say you're around to help out with what she may want to do - and do it, even if to you it may not seem the very right path ------ it takes a long time to get a grip on grief before even beginning to work out how to cope with it...and that is where you need to show that you are there.....

Reminds me of the time we were driving through the night after my mother passed on, taking her to the house she went to as a bride, so that she could say her final good bye from there.....it was a difficult thing to do but my brother didn't fail her last wishes...My DD was with me - she was sitting on the back seat where I could see her....Throughout the night....throughout....whenever I turned my head to reassure myself that she was there, I saw her looking at me......my DD never closed her eyes for a moment nor did she take her eyes off me....she was at my elbow - a quiet loving steady presence.....my lifeline....that was what helped me even begin the process of getting a grip over my grief...

That is what we need to do......quietly be there for anyone who may need us. Of course God is there, but we have to do our bit too here on earth...