We all have issues that beset us - some trouble/problem/difficulty that is persistent. Of course there are good times and good days, but the underlying and undeniable truth of our lives is that this particular trouble/problem/difficulty is something the 'good' cycle always returns to. And this is something that we are either loth to or scared to acknowledge, or even able to face. We enter into difficult relationships with our eyes open thinking that we'll be able to tackle everything - no problem is insurmountable; we believe we have it in us to overcome. The hard fact though is that there are certain problems that we cannot overcome....they keep recurring, threatening to erode the very foundation of our relationship and our life..........and then we go into denial. 'This cannot be happening to me,' 'I was not made for this,' 'Surely this cannot be happening to me,' 'I deserve something better,' 'Why me,' and on in the same vein - is what happens to us. Time is neither the great healer here nor does the trouble/problem/difficulty go away with time.
However,
What came to me in the quiet moments before I woke up this morning is to accept - ACCEPT - that there is this problem, and it's not going to go away - it might even get worse - and strangely and wonderfully and even maybe unbelievably I got this tremendous feeling of freedom... .Only one who has gone through a torturous road can understand the feeling of freedom....and I felt this freedom - I felt strong about facing the future......something I've never been able to do through 25 years.......so, okay, it's taken me 25 years to get out of denial, but fact is I have...best is that the feeling of freedom, also brought with it a strength - it was as if the strength to cope was also being freed, so that it is available for me, for handling...for coping.....
It is not that the sadness will not happen.....it is not that things are going to get rosy......it is not that the trouble/problem/difficulty is going to go away.....it is just that the fear is gone leaving one free to go through the dark days without feeling/getting destroyed...
It is not that the sadness will not happen.....it is not that things are going to get rosy......it is not that the trouble/problem/difficulty is going to go away.....it is just that the fear is gone leaving one free to go through the dark days without feeling/getting destroyed...
And so, thing is, whether we like it or not, life, though made of roses, also has its thorns, and once we stop denying this, the thorns become easier to handle, they don't seem so thorny, and best of all, since we see it, we needn't allow it to poke us, or even if it does, it's not as bad as being poked by thorns we cannot see.