Have you noticed...

that when you make an error in your work, everyone, even those who are friendly, or well-disposed towards you - both colleagues and bosses - distance themselves? none of the work - often commended - is remembered? in fact, nothing counts, except that error?

If you are one of those who tries very hard not to make errors, even maybe strive for perfection, like I so often wrongly do, we end up casting about our mind and reviewing and re-re-reviewing all that we did to desperately try to figure out why and how we could have made that error...

 I've italicized wrongly, because over the years I've seen how destructive trying for perfection can be...

And then if one person holds your hand (figuratively) and says 'it's okay, errors do happen,' then you don't feel alone - suddenly you feel strong and not-destroyed, and you get the strength to square your shoulders and go on...

It happened to me at work today, and it was my DD who gave me the impetus to go on...just by saying 'It's okay Ma, mistakes happen'...

If it's happened to you, pass it on...

Praise, appreciate, compliment, applaud as much as you can, to make up for that devastating single error...

Making the Indian bread...

or rotis is a skill. It is unleavened bread and can be made in many forms to suit different occasions....but the best form is the simplest, which is wholewheat flour kneaded into a dough, made into small balls called loi, and then rolled out - not too thin, but thinnish - and then cooked on a flat griddle. After both sides are cooked, the roti is placed directly on the flame till it puffs up....

I personally lay great store by my rotis and in October while holidaying with my DD, insisted she learn how to make rotis.............. and made sure she got it....imagine my pride and happiness when she msgd me today to say she had turned out lovely puffed up rotis for a dinner guest!!!!!

The two things that are needed are a good, solid pata (round flour board or pastry board) and belan (rolling pin). For the person who loves making rotis, it is important that these are made of good wood - teak wood or rose wood or some other wood like that - real good wood...and these have to be cared for...

Strange isn't it, how one makes sure that the things one loves to do are done with the right kind of instruments/apparatus/utensils/tools...

Life...

through Calvin's eyes...

Calvin: I don't like real experience.

It's too hard to figure out! you never know what's going on! You don't have any control over events!

I prefer to have life filtered through television.

That way you know events have been packaged for your convenience! I like a narrative imposed on life, so everything logically proceeds to a tidy conclusion.

And if you don't like what's happening, "click". You change the channel and there's something different! That's how real life should be.

To which Hobbes gives him a "click" with his foot!!!!!!!!!!!!

and to Calvin's deep chagrin says: Oh good, a farce! and Calvin starts chasing him.......

outdone again??!!

It's been...

a long two weeks...

and so much has happened....

Get together with the girls..........................fantastic

Breakdown................. finally facing the truth staring at me............. not going under.............comforted, supported, encircled and enclosed by the love of my DD and loving, caring friends...who say nothing more than that I am precious to them.....which leaves me with the joyful responsibility of living my life...

and so I am back at my desk - rejuvenated and refreshed...........

Adding to the post on recognizing and stepping out of denial...

If we are bitter about whatever it is we have to go through or live with, there is no way for us to connect to the Light  - i.e. find relief, strength, and serenity - life will remain painful and frightening.

On the other hand, if we see it for the truth of what it really is (accept it by getting out of denial) - we will get closer to the Light - i.e. we will release the power within.

And, we'll be able to start accessing the lessons that our circumstance has to teach us.

Paraphrased from my meditation: Weekly Kabbalah Tune Up: SLOW DANCE

Beautiful, beautiful...

words...

Rest in God....in His love

A tremendous breakthrough...

in my thinking...

We all have issues that beset us - some trouble/problem/difficulty that is persistent. Of course there are good times and good days, but the underlying and undeniable truth of our lives is that this particular trouble/problem/difficulty is something the 'good' cycle always returns to. And this is something that we are either loth to or scared to acknowledge, or even able to face. We enter into difficult relationships with our eyes open thinking that we'll be able to tackle everything - no problem is insurmountable; we believe we have it in us to overcome. The hard fact though is that there are certain problems that we cannot overcome....they keep recurring, threatening to erode the very foundation of our relationship and our life..........and then we go into denial. 'This cannot be happening to me,' 'I was not made for this,' 'Surely this cannot be happening to me,' 'I deserve something better,' 'Why me,' and on in the same vein - is what happens to us. Time is neither the great healer here nor does the trouble/problem/difficulty go away with time. 

However,

What came to me in the quiet moments before I woke up this morning is to accept - ACCEPT - that there is this problem, and it's not going to go away - it might even get worse - and strangely and wonderfully and even maybe unbelievably I got this tremendous feeling of freedom... .Only one who has gone through a torturous road can understand the feeling of freedom....and I felt this freedom - I felt strong about facing the future......something I've never been able to do through 25 years.......so, okay, it's taken me 25 years to get out of denial, but fact is I have...best is that the feeling of freedom, also brought with it a strength - it was as if the strength to cope was also being freed, so that it is available for me, for handling...for coping.....

It is not that the sadness will not happen.....it is not that things are going to get rosy......it is not that the trouble/problem/difficulty is going to go away.....it is just that the fear is gone leaving one free to go through the dark days without feeling/getting destroyed...

And so, thing is, whether we like it or not, life, though made of roses, also has its thorns, and once we stop denying this, the thorns become easier to handle, they don't seem so thorny, and best of all, since we see it, we needn't allow it to poke us, or even if it does, it's not as bad as being poked by thorns we cannot see. 

Often, when we go through...

one bad time, we think that if we ride it through, we'll be rewarded by a good thing...the pointer will move over the black patch into a patch of light...but more often than not, that is not the way Life works, because, so often, we find ourselves going from one bad patch, bang into another, and then again into another....the black clouds just don't seem to even want to part to let any light in....it is just unrelenting night and darkness and pain and sorrow....and we wonder if this is ever going to end...or change...

It does - if we just go through it concentrated on the moment without either looking back or ahead...I learned this from a wonderful book - The Art of Racing by Garth Stein.....will share more of this later......

Just wanted to say - one or two or a whole line of bad patches can be got through....

For those who grew up with...

Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird...


http://www.lettersofnote.com/2012/10/some-things-should-happen-on-soft-pages.html

The more I travel...

the more I realize how similar people all over the world are...regardless of every parameter that humans have used to build walls around them.