Am reading Azar Nafisi's 'Reading Lolita in Tehran'. It's a sensitively written book, and I'm loving reading it - it just draws you in and in a bit, you start feeling like one of the girls in the group. Being a woman, in India, many things struck a resonating chord. There was a particular phrase that just tore into my heart - 'the confiscation of one's individual life by another'. With that one phrase, Nafisi summed up the life of almost every woman, especially those in this part of the world. And so what happens? The sense of self is just not ready to give up on itself, and so seeks for ways and means to find some way of expression, some way of reconciliation...
And what happens is that she finally fashions her tiny universe, which is probably as big as the tiny space around her, or her own special corner, or, as Nafisi puts it - 'the space you create for yourself through imagination and reflection.'
Nafisi uses another phrase very evocatively - color of my dreams -
And so you use the color of your dreams to paint that little space of your own, for it is that space which gives you 'the courage to live,' and take on the world with peace and serenity...
31 October 2011
28 October 2011
I thought...
sunsets in the hills were dramatic....
till I saw the sky at 3 in the morning...
The night sky and the hills looked to be cut from the same cloth - black with sequins - stars in the sky-part, and the odd light twinkling in the hamlets that dot the mountain side...
and gradually, ever so gradually the drama of the dawn began...
Truly, what is man that Thou art mindful of him?
till I saw the sky at 3 in the morning...
The night sky and the hills looked to be cut from the same cloth - black with sequins - stars in the sky-part, and the odd light twinkling in the hamlets that dot the mountain side...
and gradually, ever so gradually the drama of the dawn began...
Truly, what is man that Thou art mindful of him?
25 October 2011
A reminder...
for everyone who is feeling jaded...
force yourself to do one thing--just one single thing--to make life special. It has to be for you - just for you - and it could be at your workplace, or at home. It could also include someone dear, or maybe even stretch to someone else...
As Po the Kung Fu Panda learnt:
force yourself to do one thing--just one single thing--to make life special. It has to be for you - just for you - and it could be at your workplace, or at home. It could also include someone dear, or maybe even stretch to someone else...
As Po the Kung Fu Panda learnt:
To make something special, you just have to believe it's special...
23 October 2011
Thinking about dreams...
while I'm not too keen about the interpretation of dreams, and am not heavily into reading of signs, my brother had told me a while ago that sometimes dreams, just before we wake up, are telling us something.
Having had one such experience, I do believe that there is an element of truth in this - at least one can become aware of some potential situation, and take the steps necessary to deal with the situation - cope/counter/do whatever is needed, so that the situation can be turned around...
Having had one such experience, I do believe that there is an element of truth in this - at least one can become aware of some potential situation, and take the steps necessary to deal with the situation - cope/counter/do whatever is needed, so that the situation can be turned around...
Was wondering...
how many of us, during a conversation, ask the other person his/her:
- thoughts
- views on what is being talked about
- opinions
- maybe similar experiences
- maybe similar incidents
how many of us can be just plain appreciative without justifying, or explaining, or rationalizing, or reasoning?
how many of us draw out another person to tell us about:
- themselves
- their growing up years in school and college
- what is happening in their work areas
- their friends. acquaintances, and people they know
- their particular interests
- their likes and dislikes
how many of us really enjoy a joke with another person?
how many of us can laugh with another person:
- at ourselves
- with them about them
- about some vague thing that might have read about or experienced
- just for fun
how many of us find joy, enjoyment, and happiness in just sharing with another person?
how many of us can have pleasure in the moment without dooming and glooming?
how many of us can have pleasure in the moment without dooming and glooming?
how many of us can just be with another person without trying to advice/pontificate/tell/?
how many of us allow ourselves to be sounding boards for those for whom we are sounding boards?
how many of us give the same importance to others and what happens to them as we do to ourselves and what happens to us?
how many of us can wholeheartedly accept another's feelings, thoughts, beliefs, even though we may not agree with them, or have different points of view, only because we have a feeling of kinship with that person?
how many of us make demands of time, understanding, sympathy, empathy, and all kinds of things, without being ready to reciprocate?
how many of us so boast and go on about our achievements/wisdom/knowledge, or whatever and fail to see the hurt/longing/small-but-major-for-them achievements of others?
how many of us can wholeheartedly accept another's feelings, thoughts, beliefs, even though we may not agree with them, or have different points of view, only because we have a feeling of kinship with that person?
how many of us make demands of time, understanding, sympathy, empathy, and all kinds of things, without being ready to reciprocate?
how many of us so boast and go on about our achievements/wisdom/knowledge, or whatever and fail to see the hurt/longing/small-but-major-for-them achievements of others?
how many of us can just share an appreciation just for the sake of sharing the appreciation?
how many of us can cry with another, without offering any solace, except the joint grief of tears?
22 October 2011
20 October 2011
Would it be time to...
- take stock
- do an inside check
- re-focus
- get back to nature
- do a re-assessment of attitude
- do a re-alignment of body-heart-soul
- spring clean the inside, remove the cobwebs, discard what doesn't fit
- do a stain removal and mop up
What might be the indications a laundering is needed? - when you start feeling distinctly not at peace with your work life...whether work out of home, or work at home...or when you stop feeling comfortable with yourself (warts and all)...
Lesson 5...
they know that they are safe, living in the shadow of the mighty mountains, and the monastery They don't need to scramble, or be aggressive, or fight for their place in the sun.
There's a prayer that I'd like to share here:
Teach me the faith of the mountains
Serene and sublime,
The deep-rooted joy of just living
One day at a time,
Leaving the petty-possessions
The valley-folk buy,
For the glory of windswept spaces
Where earth meets the sky.
Teach me the faith of the mountains
Their strength to endure,
The breadth and the depth of their vision
Unswerving and sure,
Counting the dawn and the starlight
As parts o fone whole
Wrought by the Spirit Eternal,
Within His control.
---Anon
19 October 2011
For a long time...
many, many years, I allowed myself to be buffeted by every wind that blew...responded to every voice I heard...reacted to every situation I found myself in...
It's only now - after all these zillion years, that I've realized that my only truth is what lies inside of me...
It's only now - after all these zillion years, that I've realized that my only truth is what lies inside of me...
Digressing again...
with a story I read recently -
'About halfway through a rehearsal conducted by Sir Michael Costa, with trumpets blaring, drums rolling, and violins singing their rich melody, th piccolo player muttered to himself, " What good am I doing? I might as well not be playing. Nobody can hear me anyway.' So he kept the instrument to his lips; but he made no sound. Within moments, the conductor cried, 'Stop! Stop! Where's the piccolo?' The most important person missed the picclolo's seemingly unimportant contribution.
There are many, many times when we decide to be silent piccolos, feeling insignificant and useless, and our weak moments may drive us to think very poorly of ourselves. But, as the story goes on to say, ' ....the grand performance is not complete until we do the best with what we have...'. And so all of us with our piccolos of growing old fears, insecurities, health problems, work problems, physical-psychological-emotional problems have a place in the Grand Score....we just need to love being part of the music...
'About halfway through a rehearsal conducted by Sir Michael Costa, with trumpets blaring, drums rolling, and violins singing their rich melody, th piccolo player muttered to himself, " What good am I doing? I might as well not be playing. Nobody can hear me anyway.' So he kept the instrument to his lips; but he made no sound. Within moments, the conductor cried, 'Stop! Stop! Where's the piccolo?' The most important person missed the picclolo's seemingly unimportant contribution.
There are many, many times when we decide to be silent piccolos, feeling insignificant and useless, and our weak moments may drive us to think very poorly of ourselves. But, as the story goes on to say, ' ....the grand performance is not complete until we do the best with what we have...'. And so all of us with our piccolos of growing old fears, insecurities, health problems, work problems, physical-psychological-emotional problems have a place in the Grand Score....we just need to love being part of the music...
18 October 2011
Digressing from the mountains...
to thoughts on sharing our fears....
I do believe that one can only share one's fears with those in whom there is total and absolute trust....
Experience has shown me time and again, that a mistake here can be very costly emotionally, and psychologically, not to mention the adverse impact it can have on your life...
So why do we need to share our fears at all - simply because it sometimes becomes too much for the lone heart to bear...
Looking at this from the other side - trusting another person with this deepest of deep feelings, in a way empowers the person you trust - empowers him/her to know how valued he/she is, and what a source of comfort...gives the person more confidence in himself/herself too - that he/she was worthy of trust.
What the person you trust does with that piece of your heart depends on that person entirely....the trust can deepen or be betrayed.....
Another way of looking at sharing our fears is to tell the person you trust that thanks to you, I came out of it..and I'm here for when you need someone to lean on...
And still another way of looking at this is to show that with help any fear can be overcome
At the end of the day we have to find our own solutions....having a trusting hand to hold, helps....
I do believe that one can only share one's fears with those in whom there is total and absolute trust....
Experience has shown me time and again, that a mistake here can be very costly emotionally, and psychologically, not to mention the adverse impact it can have on your life...
So why do we need to share our fears at all - simply because it sometimes becomes too much for the lone heart to bear...
Looking at this from the other side - trusting another person with this deepest of deep feelings, in a way empowers the person you trust - empowers him/her to know how valued he/she is, and what a source of comfort...gives the person more confidence in himself/herself too - that he/she was worthy of trust.
What the person you trust does with that piece of your heart depends on that person entirely....the trust can deepen or be betrayed.....
Another way of looking at sharing our fears is to tell the person you trust that thanks to you, I came out of it..and I'm here for when you need someone to lean on...
And still another way of looking at this is to show that with help any fear can be overcome
At the end of the day we have to find our own solutions....having a trusting hand to hold, helps....
Lesson 4...studying...
the photographs....
it came to me that no matter what the color of the clouds that swirl around the mountains, the mountains never change...white, black, dark grey clouds - they all move, and drift away - the mountains remain pristine
It's the same with us - Deep inside us are the mountains of truth, beauty, and goodness. White clouds of happiness, dark clouds of doubt, fear, unhappiness, grief, drift around - but as the beautiful white mountains remain the same, steady and unchanging, our core too remains unchanging...
We need to always carry the image of the mountains with us. When any dark thing assails us, all we need to do is to conjure up the image of the mountains and wait....
the peace and strength will surely flow in....
(I guess that's why every wise person tells us to always hark to the inner voice - it will come if we are still enough)
it came to me that no matter what the color of the clouds that swirl around the mountains, the mountains never change...white, black, dark grey clouds - they all move, and drift away - the mountains remain pristine
It's the same with us - Deep inside us are the mountains of truth, beauty, and goodness. White clouds of happiness, dark clouds of doubt, fear, unhappiness, grief, drift around - but as the beautiful white mountains remain the same, steady and unchanging, our core too remains unchanging...
We need to always carry the image of the mountains with us. When any dark thing assails us, all we need to do is to conjure up the image of the mountains and wait....
the peace and strength will surely flow in....
(I guess that's why every wise person tells us to always hark to the inner voice - it will come if we are still enough)
14 October 2011
Lesson 3...
I'm not a ritualistically religious person, but the only lines that came into my mind when I saw the mountains were these:
I will lift up mine eyes to the hills.
Psalm 121
Oh Lord
how majestic is Thy name in all the earth
When I look at your heavens,
the work of your fingers
What is man that You are mindful of him,
Or the son of man that you care for him?
Psalm 8
I will lift up mine eyes to the hills.
Psalm 121
Oh Lord
how majestic is Thy name in all the earth When I look at your heavens,
the work of your fingers
What is man that You are mindful of him,
Or the son of man that you care for him?
Psalm 8
13 October 2011
Digressing from the mountains...
to something I learnt today from an old student of mine...he was Phantom in our version of The Phantom of the Opera...a lovely child with a pure voice...today he was reminiscing about our practice sessions - me a novice, hiding my diffidence and fear behind a stern taskmaster-ish front, trying to make sense of an assignment which I had no experience of, but which a demanding Head wanted - or else - and here this boy, my Phantom, goes - 'Looking back on those days always brings me back to a sense of contentment' - the years vanish, and I can hear him sing 'Music of the Night' with all the passion of a teenager...and interpret it in his own unique way -
and I think - after all these years - that if those hard days could have created good memories in my kids, then it was all worth it....
Those assignments also taught me that when there was no way out, the best thing was to just get started - do one thing and then another, and then another.....and slowly, the windows and doors just open..... . (When the final performance was ready, I could hardly believe the way it all began!!!)
So, after all, the demanding Head did have a place in my life - the assignment taught me to take an unknown task, a challenge, hard conditions, and turn something beautiful out of it - besides the fact, of course, that I too learnt so much - from the kids and from the whole task of putting up a musical...an affirmation for me of me, and memories for my students...
Really - it is true - no experience goes to waste - it does surface somewhere, in some form, to complete a hitherto jagged facade in the heart...and no matter how long it takes, but hardships do return as sweet-smelling bouquets...and something good does come out of everything - bad and sad, good and happy....
and I think - after all these years - that if those hard days could have created good memories in my kids, then it was all worth it....
Those assignments also taught me that when there was no way out, the best thing was to just get started - do one thing and then another, and then another.....and slowly, the windows and doors just open..... . (When the final performance was ready, I could hardly believe the way it all began!!!)
So, after all, the demanding Head did have a place in my life - the assignment taught me to take an unknown task, a challenge, hard conditions, and turn something beautiful out of it - besides the fact, of course, that I too learnt so much - from the kids and from the whole task of putting up a musical...an affirmation for me of me, and memories for my students...
Really - it is true - no experience goes to waste - it does surface somewhere, in some form, to complete a hitherto jagged facade in the heart...and no matter how long it takes, but hardships do return as sweet-smelling bouquets...and something good does come out of everything - bad and sad, good and happy....
Lesson 2...
The mind, heart, body need to be in sync - the mind meanders, and throws up lots of miscellaneous, and sometimes disparate pictures in various colors, in different lights. These need to be screened, sifted, and ratified against the backdrop of the unchanging mountains. Only when they have been endorsed by the depths of the heart can these thought-pictures even be considered. Naturally, there will be shades of dark and light, but these will blend and balance, and create a whole effect. And then, finally, the body needs to act....not to disrupt, but to complement and complete the picture.
And there is perfect sync--perfect peace....
And there is perfect sync--perfect peace....
Lesson drawn from the mountains....
This too will pass, as all things must - good and bad
And the ending will be the sweeter for it....
And the ending will be the sweeter for it....
12 October 2011
Back...
from a wonderful holiday in Pemayangtse, Pelling, Sikkim. Over the next few days, I'll try and capture the essence of the intensely spiritual experience of living in the shadow of the Kanchenjunga...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)