to avoid further hurt doesn't really work out, because the unsaid words build up and these can cause terrible harm to our bodies...the mind anyway becomes a mess...
Keeping silent when one must speak up against an injustice is worse, because we harm not only ourselves, but also someone we could have helped...if nothing else, someone in distress hearing our voice would take courage from it...the person would know he or she is not alone and someone is hurting with him or her.
Keeping silent when we see something or someone going on the wrong path is bound to land us with an uneasy conscience...a conscience that will keep interfering with our thoughts. We could have helped, we could have stopped something bad from happening, we could have stopped someone from doing the wrong thing - and we didn't.
If we use silence as a protective measure, we couldn't be more wrong. It is not.
Rebecca Solnit says, "Silence is the ocean of the unsaid, the unspeakable, the repressed, the erased, the unheard. It surrounds the scattered islands made up of those allowed to speak and of what can be said and who listens. Silence occurs in many ways for many reasons; each of us has his or her own sea of unspoken words."
She brings out the difference between silence and quietude. Silence is imposed by us on ourselves or by others on us (because we are afraid), whereas quietude is what we seek.
Sometimes it may seem better to be silent, but the unsaid words will demand an outlet and so either we have to work them out of our system or we have to give voice to them. Work them out of our system means that we decide these words are really empty and meaningless and the person uttering them is neither worth our time or attention. We use our spiritual lessons to sublimate the hurt and let it go. We know that forgiving would let us let go of the hot coal of words burning our hearts, and we forgive and move on and maybe even move away.
Giving voice is more challenging because here we are not willing to let the issue go, or we are fed up of being taken for granted, or we are hurt to the quick. We also know from past experience that we cannot win a war of words. Then, it would be better to wait for a time when we can say what we want to without venom for venom not only poisons us but also causes huge damage, and we may not be able to deal with that.
The wonderful thing is that 'every day each of us invents the world and the self who meets that world.' So we have the chance to choose when to be silent and when not to... and when we need to just walk away with no bitterness in the heart...