A beautiful thought...

for all of us who are of a certain age...

'.....old people should have a space of their own in which to weave a beautiful old age for themselves.'

(I got this from a fascinating book I'm reading: 'The Good Women of China' by Xinran)

I would imagine that we all need this no matter what our age....our own space in which to weave a beautiful life for ourselves...wouldn't you say?

So often when we find ourselves...

at rock bottom and believe that we have reached the end of the road...there's nothing more we can do....nowhere we can turn to.....nothing more to hope for....

Here is something to take solace from and steer by:

“And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” 
~ J.K. Rowling

Dark clouds...

do pass, even though the dark shadows they cast on a few days can be quite paralyzing, and it seems as if there is no light in sight...but hang in there, for they do pass and leave a lightness in the heart...

Continuing on my belief...

that sexual orientation is a deeply personal thing and should not be used against a person.

I came across this, this morning:

In an article by Sienna Craig in http://edition.cnn.com/2014/02/18/living/same-sex-parents-sochi/index.html?hpt=hp_t5, she says, '......we still have a long way to go before the truth of our personhood rather than our sexual orientation becomes the basis on which we are judged -- as partners, as parents, as human beings.

I totally synced with the word - personhood...what a total meaning it conveys, and what an ideal to strive for...

Very often...

we force an issue that we are not in favor of/don't support/don't like/don't want to get into, by constantly thinking about it. Holding it in our mind makes us unconsciously give it a lot of time...we analyze it, have conversations around it, add on all kinds of feelings to it, fan the flames it produces and....keep it alive.

If we just let issues we are not comfortable with filter through our mind, we'll be sparing ourselves a lot of grief.

As it often happens, the edifice (an ugly one) we have created around an unhappy issue usually falls when reality kicks in...and either it's not as bad as we thought it would be, or it just evaporates, or we find we can handle it...

So much of our time and energy go into...

seeking approbation for the thoughts we share, and our actions...

trying to justify ourselves to those whom we look on as friends...

working on doing what we feel will bring approval or praise or sanction from those around us...maybe make us feel accepted and not as if we were some freak...maybe make us 'part of the group'...

getting people to be on our side...

We want to look good, in other words, regardless, very often, of our own reality (by reality I mean what we deep down want to do for ourselves, what we know as being right for us, what we really believe in, in the depths of our own hearts, what we know as being good for us...)

Thing is, no one really cares, because when push comes to shove, we find we are alone......all alone.....

The ones who do care will love us and support us unconditionally...

So, we just need to do what is right by our lights and leave it at that....

A lot of things became clear...

when I read this today: “It is not a virtue to refrain from hurting others, but it is a virtue to bear a hurt patiently.” - Solomon Ibn Gabirol, "Mibhar HaPeninim"

As I've learnt, the very hard way, that hurtful things are sent to us, or we find ourselves in a hurtful situation, because Life has a lesson in it and wants us to learn that lesson...

I've also been increasingly influenced by the truth that I am where I am because this is where God wanted me to be...I am not in the wrong place when I hurt - I am in the right place, in the right time....

Nothing 'just happens'...

Which clearly means that if I accept that I am exactly where I was meant to be, and if I can wait out the hurtful time, then I would have learnt one of Life's invaluable lessons, and become that much the better for it, and stronger too...

Here I raise...

my Ebenezar, is a phrase in a beautiful hymn - Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing - written by Robert Robinson in 1758.

I remember playing this hymn at morning prayers, Chapel, and special services, those long years ago when I played the organ and piano. I always wondered at the fervor that automatically crept into the voices of the congregation...but never really thought about the words...

Yesterday, I came across this phrase in one of my readings and was struck by its meaning, and of how relevant it is in our lives today...

Delving deeper, this is what I found in the Bible, in the First Book of Samuel, Chapter 7. Samuel and the Israelites were under attack from the Philistines. Samuel offered a sacrifice to God and prayed for His protection. God heard Samuel's prayer and caused the Philistines to lose the battle and retreat. After the victory, "Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezar, saying, 'Thus far the Lord has helped us'" (Verse 12).

Ebenezar is a Hebrew word which means 'stone of help'. It is a recognition, set in stone as it were, of God's help in the time of trouble, or in some battle that we are engaged in...It is an acknowledgement of God's help.

How many times the good Lord has helped us....if we raise our Ebenezars we will realize how grateful we need to be. We will also be consciously aware that He always comes to our aid. The next time we come out of some internal or even external struggle, no matter how tiny, let's raise an Ebenezar...It will help us to go on...

(You could use small pebbles, or shells, or buttons...just something to mark the successful end to something you are battling...)

Had to share this...

from today's meditation in Streams In The Desert, Part Two.

There are two seas in Palestine fed by the River Jordan. One - the sea of Galilee - is fresh, has fish, and grass and trees grow on its banks. The other - the Dead Sea - has no fish, the air over it is heavy and it is not potable.

So what makes the two different coming as they are from the same source?

For every drop of water that the River Jordan pours into the Sea of Galilee, a drop flows out. Receiving and giving happens in equal measure.

The Dead Sea keeps every drop of the River Jordan that comes into it.

Life's cards...

Most people don't bargain for the life, Life's cards deal out.

Most people go through the motions of living and suddenly one day wake up to see that most of their life is gone...

Many choose a way of life thinking this is the direction they want their life to take, only to realize that that road has too many diversions that make the road longer, slip roads that lead to nowhere and too many obstacles to go around...

Many live from day to day, not thinking about where their life is going - it is just enough to get through the day...

There are many such permutations and combinations, but the bottom line is that only very, very few people actually can live life the way they want, do the things they want...

And this has nothing to do with the economics of living.....it is something spiritual.

So, what of those who have to do many, many things they don't like, or don't want to do, or their heart is not in?

We have to enjoy whatever tiny thing that we really like, comes our way, and learn to do the things we don't want to do and wish we could avoid doing, as graciously as we can...

You can be very sure that...

if you think negative thoughts...

the negativeness that will flood your mind and your heart will attract all that is negative from the environment around you...you will be able to see and hear and pick out only the negative in everyone you meet, in everything you do and in all that you read. Every conversation will veer only to the negative...

In everything and everyone there is negative and positive - but when you are negative, you draw only the negative out of everyone and from every situation.

It's likewise for the positive...so there's a choice here...

Emotional economy...

I came across this wonderful phrase in Doris Lessings 'Walking in the Shade'.

She says that as she grew older, she 'became cleverer at managing my emotional economy.'

This caught my attention as we all deal with so many emotional issues that often leave us drained - a kind of expending all our emotions on everything that we see or hear or read or think about or say. Sometimes this happens when we are by ourselves, and sometimes when we are with others.

Combining the words emotional and economy, then, emotional economy would therefore refer to a saving up of our emotions for important issues that affect us, and cut back or be frugal in the expression of our emotions in situations that really don't touch us. This would certainly prevent us from wasting our emotions. There would be a simplicity in our emotional state when we realize the impermanence of things, and so we would cherish and protect only those emotions that would be elevating and enabling rather than those which are destructive and dissipative.

Ever had this experience...

of waiting and waiting all year for an event, and then it turns out worse than bad?

This happened to me yesterday - I'd waited and waited all year for the Sufi Sutra fest...Sufism goes straight to my heart and the fest last year had been a fantastic experience - the energies were all there. It's a 3-day fest with different countries performing on the three days. I had chosen one day according to the countries that most attracted me. I did the same this year. Imagine, then, how I felt when yesterday went all wrong....the crowd was unruly, cell phones kept ringing and people kept talking on them, two fights broke out because people in front of us kept standing up and walking around obstructing our view of the stage....it was awful. After the program, I wondered why I was having trouble opening my mouth and realized I had kept my mouth clamped shut because of the stress....

I had to take a decision this morning if I would ever go again for a public function, and decided No, not ever again. Of course, one tiny voice whispered, it may not be so bad next year, maybe it would have been better if we had gone on a weekday - only thing was the countries that I wanted to hear were scheduled for Sunday - maybe...maybe...maybe... .

There's another public event coming up, that I had wanted to go for. I decided No, because no fest/event/function is so important that results in so much stress - positive energies or not...

We are so afraid of solitude...

Yet, here's what Maya Angelou has to say about it:

'We need to remember and to teach our children that solitude can be a much-to-be-desired condition. Not only is it acceptable to be alone, at times it is positively to be wished for.

It is in the interludes between being in company that we talk to ourselves. In the silence we listen to ourselves. Then we ask questions of ourselves. We describe ourselves to ourselves, and in the quietude we may even hear the voice of God.'

By all means, be aware...

of the circumstances you were born into...

Be also fully aware of the circumstances you now find yourself in...

But,

Don't allow yourself to be limited by them...