16 January 2012

To my mind...

telling it like it is,or talking turkey, or being frank, or speaking outright, is quite terrible. There has to be a certain gentleness about speech. Those who pride themselves on telling it like it is because they believe in being frank, need to ask themselves if they would be able to take it should they be at the receiving end of someone else's frankness or outspokenness. There is a certain demeaning that happens to the one who is receiving this frank talk - a certain stripping of the self-esteem and self-respect. Of course the truth, no matter how painful, needs to be told, but there is also a responsibility (to the other person) in how it is told.

I always think of my Mum's neurosurgeon. When he finally realized that there was no need any more for any medication, or treatment, he called me aside and spoke to me very gently, explaining in as simple language as he could what Mummy's condition was and that nothing more could be done for her. It touched my heart when he said that we should take her home and surround her with love and family and let her go. I know he spoke to my brother as one doctor to another, but to me he was quite a different person. I thank God for him.

By all means take pride in the fact that you can see things as they are and can spell things out as they are - but tread gently....................for you might be stepping on someone's heart...