Muriel Spark, The Biography by Martin Stannard, and want to share something for those of us who have entered the 60s.
Muriel says:I think the happiest years of my life started between sixty and seventy...For one thing, I can handle life. Up till the time I was sixty I was never very capable of saying "No", of really saying "This is the way I do it" and being absolutely firm. She felt that too often she had wasted energy humoring those staking claims on her time...
How true - we keep humoring those staking claims on our time believing that to be our bounden duty - but it isn't. Yes, a fair amount of give and take, with maybe a little more leaning to the give, does happen, and that's fine, but more than that not only begins to drain, it also begins to subdue and stifle and eventually deaden and destroy what we are really all about. This is not to say we become selfishly short-sighted about ourselves, no--not at all----it is just that comes a time in life when we just have to plain and simple say a definite No to others and a resounding Yes to ourselves.....this is not being me-centric, it is the realization that the me has got lost somewhere, it is no longer visible, drowned as it is by the voices and demands of others, and doing something about it. As my DD tells me, "Ma if you are not going to start living now, then when?"
Also, as we grow older there is a sense of release from all kinds of things that seemed important...the focus changes...and we need to explore this - now, at this stage of our lives...
I also have a sneaky feeling that if we do things that show respect for ourselves, others, even those close to us, will respect us, even if it gives them dreadful jolts....
All this is totally exclusive of one's girl friends, for your girl friends are your support system and the only ones, who love you unconditionally and don't try to make you over into their image...and a wonderfully encouraging DD!!!!
31 January 2012
30 January 2012
I do so disagree...
with Salman Rushdie when he said at an interview that 'self-censorship is a lie to yourself,' and that 'self-censorship is the death of art.'
To me that is an incredibly strange thing to say, especially coming from someone who considers himself educated...
Imagine what would happen if all of us just said and did what we felt, with no self-censorship? Where then would be the grace in conversation? Where ethics? Where 'The Golden Rule'? Dickens, Thackeray, Twain, Austen, Hardy, and all the authors we've grown up on didn't offend anyone with their writing, with their literature. Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Picasso, Van Gogh, didn't offend with their art. They too portrayed life as it was in the times...as they felt...the pictures they painted were very realistic and quite painful at times - how is it that what they said or painted never caused offence? never caused violent reactions? never divided society?
In a society that is increasingly becoming a kind of free-for-all, the only thing that would keep some kind of sanity is self-censorship...
By all means say what you think and feel, but to those in your inner circle - the very fact that you have to defend your stand, or writing, or painting so much, so loudly and from so many forums, means that something is not quite right somewhere.
And, well, if he did not believe in self-censorship, then he should applaud that not having him over was because others too did not believe in self-censorship - they too said what they believed...
To me that is an incredibly strange thing to say, especially coming from someone who considers himself educated...
Imagine what would happen if all of us just said and did what we felt, with no self-censorship? Where then would be the grace in conversation? Where ethics? Where 'The Golden Rule'? Dickens, Thackeray, Twain, Austen, Hardy, and all the authors we've grown up on didn't offend anyone with their writing, with their literature. Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Picasso, Van Gogh, didn't offend with their art. They too portrayed life as it was in the times...as they felt...the pictures they painted were very realistic and quite painful at times - how is it that what they said or painted never caused offence? never caused violent reactions? never divided society?
In a society that is increasingly becoming a kind of free-for-all, the only thing that would keep some kind of sanity is self-censorship...
By all means say what you think and feel, but to those in your inner circle - the very fact that you have to defend your stand, or writing, or painting so much, so loudly and from so many forums, means that something is not quite right somewhere.
And, well, if he did not believe in self-censorship, then he should applaud that not having him over was because others too did not believe in self-censorship - they too said what they believed...
24 January 2012
The hue and cry...
over Rushdie coming to India has taken on a life of its own and like a juggernaut is rolling all over the place fomenting unrest and instigating violence. I think the only one who is gaining is Rushdie himself because by now The Satanic Verses must be in printing overdrive...
Literature, to my mind, is all about feeling, and therefore by extension, about choice. One should welcome all kinds of literature else how will one ever know various lines of thinking; how will one ever get to know about things/people/occurrences, to name a few worlds that reading opens up; how will one ever extend the boundaries of life and living? how will one choose what resonates with our core, or our way of thinking? how will one know what and how to think? how will one choose between one and the other kind of literature?
What is more satanic than The Satanic Verses is our hypocrisy. What is more demoniacal and diabolical is the way we treat each other; or behave with those who are less fortunate, or cannot hit back; or grovel before those who are 'above' us, all the while making others grovel before us; or willingly become sycophants of those who we imagine have an advantage over us, or hold our interests in their hands, even as we ruthlessly push our tiny two-bit position; or cruelly use our clout and position over who have nothing to give; or kowtow to people for our own personal furtherance, expecting the same; or behave with impunity to gain our ends; or allow our personal greed to gain dominance and precedence over public good; or............
What can be more satanic than the crime we allow to be perpetrated against girls and women?
Literature, to my mind, is all about feeling, and therefore by extension, about choice. One should welcome all kinds of literature else how will one ever know various lines of thinking; how will one ever get to know about things/people/occurrences, to name a few worlds that reading opens up; how will one ever extend the boundaries of life and living? how will one choose what resonates with our core, or our way of thinking? how will one know what and how to think? how will one choose between one and the other kind of literature?
What is more satanic than The Satanic Verses is our hypocrisy. What is more demoniacal and diabolical is the way we treat each other; or behave with those who are less fortunate, or cannot hit back; or grovel before those who are 'above' us, all the while making others grovel before us; or willingly become sycophants of those who we imagine have an advantage over us, or hold our interests in their hands, even as we ruthlessly push our tiny two-bit position; or cruelly use our clout and position over who have nothing to give; or kowtow to people for our own personal furtherance, expecting the same; or behave with impunity to gain our ends; or allow our personal greed to gain dominance and precedence over public good; or............
What can be more satanic than the crime we allow to be perpetrated against girls and women?
I'm exceedingly angry...
at the report I read this morning in the Times of India, Kolkata.
An 18-year-old girl was tortured, her hair cut off, and paraded in a semi-naked condition across the village by family members of her second husband in a Birbhaum village on Sunday night. In the face of strong mob sentiment the husband could do little to protest. Neither could her family members. The girl's father said they were very poor and could not protest as they had been threatened. He didn't even dare to take his daughter to the hospital. The groom and his family have fled the village.
It was only on Monday that the local authorities got to know, when they came and took the girl to the hospital.
The girl was married, but when her marriage failed, she came back home. Anyone familiar with Indian custom would know that this marriage would have been arranged by her family. Anyone who knows what Indian society is all about would also know that coming home, the child probably realized the unwelcome situation she put herself and her family in, and the burden she would be on her already burdened father. The child must have also come face to face with an unrelentingly merciless society. So, when she got an opportunity, she must have decided to marry a second time. I am sure she found herself driven to taking this step.
Angry, frustrated, helpless questions and feelings are raging and surging in my brain and heart. (Our putrid society offers no solace or solution to a girl in these circumstances). What must she be going through? How will she resolve the pain? How will the child ever come to terms with this? What will she do now?
I would want all the women who read my blog to join me in sending this young girl all our love and strength. There is great power in thought and if we all send her our collective force, it will surely have an effect...
22 January 2012
Have you ever felt...
when reading a word/phrase/sentence someone has used in a context which is familiar to you, a resonance, and a settling down, or definitive conclusion of feelings and thoughts that heretofore were left unconcluded?
I felt this way a couple of days back, and am able to articulate it only now after it has seeped into my being. My home has been robbed three times over the years. We belong to the professional stratum, and each time, we lost some of our hard-earned belongings and a lot of personal effects which had emotional connections, considerably setting us back. My DD always helped put the bits and pieces of my heart back, but I just could not bring a closure to my feelings, till I got a letter from my cousin. He told me that their home had been broken into on the 11th, and they had lost their life savings. While I sympathized with him and his wife, he was philosophical about his tremendous loss, saying, "I am not despondent or disheartened, but feel a sense of being violated." That was it! - Violated - that was what I had been feeling all these years. Somehow when articulated like that, it clicked into place, and I find I can now put to rest all those inconclusive feelings that have periodically permeated my head and heart and brought so much pain...
I felt this way a couple of days back, and am able to articulate it only now after it has seeped into my being. My home has been robbed three times over the years. We belong to the professional stratum, and each time, we lost some of our hard-earned belongings and a lot of personal effects which had emotional connections, considerably setting us back. My DD always helped put the bits and pieces of my heart back, but I just could not bring a closure to my feelings, till I got a letter from my cousin. He told me that their home had been broken into on the 11th, and they had lost their life savings. While I sympathized with him and his wife, he was philosophical about his tremendous loss, saying, "I am not despondent or disheartened, but feel a sense of being violated." That was it! - Violated - that was what I had been feeling all these years. Somehow when articulated like that, it clicked into place, and I find I can now put to rest all those inconclusive feelings that have periodically permeated my head and heart and brought so much pain...
21 January 2012
It's my life...
you bet it is...
only thing is that it is connected by a hundred thousand strings, visible, invisible, tenuous, strong, loose, tight, thick, thin, whatever... but connected nevertheless to a hundred thousand people...important-in-our-lives, and not so important, and not important at all, distant, close and personal, far and near...
and there's nothing we can do about it other than try and wiggle around and create a little space where we can be what we really are...
so that the tugging and pulling strings don't disfigure us, instead, they emanate from us...
only thing is that it is connected by a hundred thousand strings, visible, invisible, tenuous, strong, loose, tight, thick, thin, whatever... but connected nevertheless to a hundred thousand people...important-in-our-lives, and not so important, and not important at all, distant, close and personal, far and near...
and there's nothing we can do about it other than try and wiggle around and create a little space where we can be what we really are...
so that the tugging and pulling strings don't disfigure us, instead, they emanate from us...
20 January 2012
It's...
my DD's birthday today...
A child's birthday is an exceedingly special day for the mother...the memories...the wishes...the tenderness...for the teeny-weeny baby lying so trustingly in your arms...
and the blessing of God's gift for us mothers...
A child's birthday is an exceedingly special day for the mother...the memories...the wishes...the tenderness...for the teeny-weeny baby lying so trustingly in your arms...
and the blessing of God's gift for us mothers...
Sharing the belief...
of the nobility of our birth... (people tag themselves as being of low or high birth, when in fact there is no such thing...)
You are a primary existence. You are a distinct portion of the essence of God, and contain a certain part of Him in yourself. Why then are you ignorant of your noble birth? You carry a God about within you, poor wretch, and nothing of it.
- Epictetus
A note about Epictetus: Epictetus was a Greek sage and Stoic philosopher. Born a slave in what is today Pamukkale, Turkey, he lived in Rome till he was banished. He then went to Nicopolis in Northwestern Greece and lived there for the rest of his life. He believed that philosophy was a way of life and not just a theory. Epictetus believed that all external events are determined by fate, and therefore beyond our control. So, we need to accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. We, however, are responsible for our actions. If we try to control what cannot be controlled, or neglect what we can do, the result is suffering. Like all wise men, he believed that all men were interconnected and that therefore we have a duty to our fellow men.
You are a primary existence. You are a distinct portion of the essence of God, and contain a certain part of Him in yourself. Why then are you ignorant of your noble birth? You carry a God about within you, poor wretch, and nothing of it.
- Epictetus
A note about Epictetus: Epictetus was a Greek sage and Stoic philosopher. Born a slave in what is today Pamukkale, Turkey, he lived in Rome till he was banished. He then went to Nicopolis in Northwestern Greece and lived there for the rest of his life. He believed that philosophy was a way of life and not just a theory. Epictetus believed that all external events are determined by fate, and therefore beyond our control. So, we need to accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. We, however, are responsible for our actions. If we try to control what cannot be controlled, or neglect what we can do, the result is suffering. Like all wise men, he believed that all men were interconnected and that therefore we have a duty to our fellow men.
How do they know...
it's time to nest??
Just yesterday when I looked at the tree, there was no nest. I did see a couple of crows fluttering around and flying in and out of the tree, and I wondered what they were up to...
And today their home is ready....
Last year too, I watched this whole exercise - Mr and Mrs Crow built their nest, the little ones were born, they flew away, and Mr and Mrs Crow flew away too. The abandoned nest fell apart.
Today, it's new life all over again...
(Something to think about: crows are monogamous and form long-term bonds)
18 January 2012
When...
words rip your soul apart
an arm reaches out, over long distances, over mountains and seas, telling you 'it's okay'
you grip that arm, and in that lone, loving gesture find solace...
and the strength to go on...
an arm reaches out, over long distances, over mountains and seas, telling you 'it's okay'
you grip that arm, and in that lone, loving gesture find solace...
and the strength to go on...
While...
the government is playing ducks and drakes with prices and policies
there are excited and hysterical national debates on the Chief of Army Staff's age
crores are being spent on covering Mayawati's elephants and statues, and these crores will be swept off when the coverings are removed
a tired Cricket captain and his team are food for the vultures.......
farmers are committing suicide
mothers of seamen are weeping to get their sons back from the clutches of pirates
children are forgetting to read and count
women are slogging to keep the home fires burning
it seems so hard to see every day through....
Kolaver di?
there are excited and hysterical national debates on the Chief of Army Staff's age
crores are being spent on covering Mayawati's elephants and statues, and these crores will be swept off when the coverings are removed
a tired Cricket captain and his team are food for the vultures.......
farmers are committing suicide
mothers of seamen are weeping to get their sons back from the clutches of pirates
children are forgetting to read and count
women are slogging to keep the home fires burning
it seems so hard to see every day through....
Kolaver di?
17 January 2012
Homai Vyarawalla...
may not be physically with us, but she lives through her pictures...
And remains SOMEONE whom we can look up to...
She had to have been certain kind of person, otherwise she would not have done the things she did, or lived the way she lived - on her own terms and in her own way - independent and thought and deed, but with sensitivity - and that is what we can draw sustenance, strength, inspiration, and direction from....
And remains SOMEONE whom we can look up to...
She had to have been certain kind of person, otherwise she would not have done the things she did, or lived the way she lived - on her own terms and in her own way - independent and thought and deed, but with sensitivity - and that is what we can draw sustenance, strength, inspiration, and direction from....
Happiness...
check out - http://www.zizira.com/secure/who-am-i-celebrating-your-roots/
some of my identity issues are here in this new platform Zizira...
some of my identity issues are here in this new platform Zizira...
To be...
enveloped in the love of those you hold dear, those who share your anguish and agony, and silently understand the barrenness that life's experiences have created, and just hold you close in their strength and warmth, and loving care...
Could one ask for more?
But you need to extend this to someone to make the warm circle complete...
Could one ask for more?
But you need to extend this to someone to make the warm circle complete...
16 January 2012
To my mind...
telling it like it is,or talking turkey, or being frank, or speaking outright, is quite terrible. There has to be a certain gentleness about speech. Those who pride themselves on telling it like it is because they believe in being frank, need to ask themselves if they would be able to take it should they be at the receiving end of someone else's frankness or outspokenness. There is a certain demeaning that happens to the one who is receiving this frank talk - a certain stripping of the self-esteem and self-respect. Of course the truth, no matter how painful, needs to be told, but there is also a responsibility (to the other person) in how it is told.
I always think of my Mum's neurosurgeon. When he finally realized that there was no need any more for any medication, or treatment, he called me aside and spoke to me very gently, explaining in as simple language as he could what Mummy's condition was and that nothing more could be done for her. It touched my heart when he said that we should take her home and surround her with love and family and let her go. I know he spoke to my brother as one doctor to another, but to me he was quite a different person. I thank God for him.
By all means take pride in the fact that you can see things as they are and can spell things out as they are - but tread gently....................for you might be stepping on someone's heart...
I always think of my Mum's neurosurgeon. When he finally realized that there was no need any more for any medication, or treatment, he called me aside and spoke to me very gently, explaining in as simple language as he could what Mummy's condition was and that nothing more could be done for her. It touched my heart when he said that we should take her home and surround her with love and family and let her go. I know he spoke to my brother as one doctor to another, but to me he was quite a different person. I thank God for him.
By all means take pride in the fact that you can see things as they are and can spell things out as they are - but tread gently....................for you might be stepping on someone's heart...
15 January 2012
It's celebration time...
January 14 is a very special day. I knew it was a day when harvest festivals were celebrated across India, but did not quite know what it meant. Did some searching, and this is what I found:
Makar Sankranthi, Lohri, and Pongal mark the movememt of the Sun from the Tropic of Cancer to the Tropic of Capricorn, or from the Dhanu rashi (Sagittarius) to Makara rashi (Capricorn) as it goes on its celestial path.
An intersting fact is that this festival marks the Winter Solstice i.e., the gradual increase in the length of the day. Scientifically, December 21-22 is the shortest day. So, Winter Solstice begins on this day, and the Sun enters the Makara rashi on this day. However, since the Earth tilts 23.45 degrees, it has caused Makar Sankranthi to shift. A thousand years ago, Makar Sankranthi was on December 31, now it is January 14. 5000 years on, it will be at the end of February, and after 9000 years it will fall in June!
Thai Pongal is celebrated by Tamilians in India and Sri Lanka. The saying "Thai Pirandhal Vazhi Pirakkum" or "the commencement of Thai paves the way for new opportunities" is reflected in this festival. In gratitude to the Sun God for a good harvest, the first grain is consecrated to him. Tamilians decorate their homes with banana and mango leaves, both considered auspicious, and decorate their homes with exquisite kolams (rangolis) made with rice flour. Milk is boiled in a clay pot till it boils over, symboizing prosperity for the home. All South Indian states celebrate Pongal by different names.
It is a time to let go of everything old - material, emotional, or psychological, and start afresh on a clean new slate.
As all festivals go, there is a lot of fun, singing, dancing of traditional dances, eating, and drinking.
So Happy Celebrations!! It's the mark of a New Season!!!
Makar Sankranthi, Lohri, and Pongal mark the movememt of the Sun from the Tropic of Cancer to the Tropic of Capricorn, or from the Dhanu rashi (Sagittarius) to Makara rashi (Capricorn) as it goes on its celestial path.
An intersting fact is that this festival marks the Winter Solstice i.e., the gradual increase in the length of the day. Scientifically, December 21-22 is the shortest day. So, Winter Solstice begins on this day, and the Sun enters the Makara rashi on this day. However, since the Earth tilts 23.45 degrees, it has caused Makar Sankranthi to shift. A thousand years ago, Makar Sankranthi was on December 31, now it is January 14. 5000 years on, it will be at the end of February, and after 9000 years it will fall in June!
Makar Sankranthi is a day when the Sun is worshiped. People celebrate this festival across India in many ways. It is also a day when a ritual bath for thepurification of sins is taken in the Ganges. In fact, in Bengal, the day is celebrated as Ganga Sagar when thousands take a dip in the holy Ganges at the auspicious pre-dawn hour. Kites are flown on this day as a tribute to the Sun God.
Lohri is celebrated in Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Delhi and Jammu. People associate Lohri with Dulla Bhatti, a Robin Hood-like rebel who robbed the rich and gave to the poor, and rescued Hindu girls from being sole into slavery arranging their marriages and giving them their dowries. The lyrics of all Lohri songs express gratitude to Dulla Bhatti. The main feature of Lohri is the big bonfire which is lit in the main square.
As all festivals go, there is a lot of fun, singing, dancing of traditional dances, eating, and drinking.
So Happy Celebrations!! It's the mark of a New Season!!!
13 January 2012
Ever felt...
a kind of emptiness hit you when you suddenly have to stop cc-ing your mails to someone you always include in your cc bar?
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| Add Cc |
12 January 2012
There are days when...
things just don't make sense...
there seems to be no reason for what happens...
Just hold tight and hold on...
this will pass and the underlying design will stand out,
for....
nothing happens that should not - there is a distinct pattern.
If we ruffle ourselves, the pattern will get ruffled too...
there seems to be no reason for what happens...
Just hold tight and hold on...
this will pass and the underlying design will stand out,
for....
nothing happens that should not - there is a distinct pattern.
If we ruffle ourselves, the pattern will get ruffled too...
The greatest grip...
that anything can have on one is the grip of grief - no matter what the reason, no matter what the cause of this grief is...
Worst is that grief is paralyzing...
Fact is one cannot move on from any kind of grief - it becomes a part of you, and in dealing with it, you find your answers.
Worst is that grief is paralyzing...
Fact is one cannot move on from any kind of grief - it becomes a part of you, and in dealing with it, you find your answers.
What a relief it is...
when the realization dawns that your lifestyle is the best for you. You don't have to be someone else, or like anyone else, or look enviously at people and think 'why not me?'
As the feeling of relief morphs into realization, and on into truth, it totally, you get released from all strangulating and shackling feelings and thoughts, and the only feeling left in your entire being is one of freedom...
As the feeling of relief morphs into realization, and on into truth, it totally, you get released from all strangulating and shackling feelings and thoughts, and the only feeling left in your entire being is one of freedom...
07 January 2012
Epiphany...
thought i'd keep a few memories of Christmas in the homes of my family...
 |
| DD's home |
 |
| Ours |
 |
| Philip's |
 |
| Jithen's home |
 |
| Jithen's |
 |
| Philip's home |
06 January 2012
If you feel...
that life is going on, and
what you imagined,
or wished for,
or visualized,
or thought about,
or read about,
has not happened
and a desperate feeling starts welling up from the pit of your stomach, threatening to engulf you....
and you think
now there's not much time left, so when is all this going to happen?
why isn't it happening?
STOP
this is what was in your life script---so, sit back and try to figure out
what you're missing....
what's evading you...
what you are crowding out...
what virtue there is in it...
and
enjoy it.....
what you imagined,
or wished for,
or visualized,
or thought about,
or read about,
has not happened
and a desperate feeling starts welling up from the pit of your stomach, threatening to engulf you....
and you think
now there's not much time left, so when is all this going to happen?
why isn't it happening?
STOP
this is what was in your life script---so, sit back and try to figure out
what you're missing....
what's evading you...
what you are crowding out...
what virtue there is in it...
and
enjoy it.....
Options...
for someone who is housebound...
don't let your thoughts get into a downward spiral
eat something that you are not supposed to, but you love
look outside the window at the world passing by
make up stories, make-believe - remember as children how we entertained ourselves?
have a nice steaming bath in an incense-filled bathroom
make sure every corner of your home is lovely and beautiful and comfortable and cozy
put on loud dance music and dance
sing along with the music, loudly, all the songs you love
make something pretty
do needlecraft, or knit, or hook a rug
if you're so inclined, dish up something
sit back and sip a drink, never mind the time of day
tell yourself there are no shoulds, and do what you feel like--maybe like taking a nap in the middle of the morning
watch a film - and if you don't know what to watch, but feel like watching TV, then watch, what my DD calls, a fuddu movie, which is a movie which is totally improbable and just plain entertainment
play hooky
don't do the things you're 'supposed' to do; instead do something waaaaaaayyyyyy out
be irreverent
keep adding to this list
but absolutely, and positively, and certainly, stop expecting things of yourself....
decide what you are going to do to make the day a day to remember........
don't let your thoughts get into a downward spiral
eat something that you are not supposed to, but you love
look outside the window at the world passing by
make up stories, make-believe - remember as children how we entertained ourselves?
have a nice steaming bath in an incense-filled bathroom
make sure every corner of your home is lovely and beautiful and comfortable and cozy
put on loud dance music and dance
sing along with the music, loudly, all the songs you love
make something pretty
do needlecraft, or knit, or hook a rug
if you're so inclined, dish up something
sit back and sip a drink, never mind the time of day
tell yourself there are no shoulds, and do what you feel like--maybe like taking a nap in the middle of the morning
watch a film - and if you don't know what to watch, but feel like watching TV, then watch, what my DD calls, a fuddu movie, which is a movie which is totally improbable and just plain entertainment
play hooky
don't do the things you're 'supposed' to do; instead do something waaaaaaayyyyyy out
be irreverent
keep adding to this list
but absolutely, and positively, and certainly, stop expecting things of yourself....
decide what you are going to do to make the day a day to remember........
02 January 2012
A housework rambling...
Life, hardly ever, goes according to the script you've imagined, or written, or wanted, or thought about. Often you stop yourself and ask, "Is this really me happening here?" Trouble is - it is. So then? accept the new script and learn it... . in the end you'll see that it was tailor-made for you!
Strange, new, delicious feeling...
I've been experiencing this feeling lately - on two occasions when we were out to lunch, I could actually stop myself from thinking about the chores pending at home, things I had to work on online, and generally what's-next thoughts... . I actually managed it! after the lunch, I realized I actually had had no thoughts in my head other than thoughts about the food and the company; as if there was nothing for me to do, other than just have lunch. How to explain the feeling of liberation.... it was a wonderful freeing kind of feeling.
Now, since that was such an enjoyable feeling, that is what i am mightily going to strive for while doing each of my tasks.
..................growing up at 60???!!!
Now, since that was such an enjoyable feeling, that is what i am mightily going to strive for while doing each of my tasks.
..................growing up at 60???!!!
01 January 2012
Ring in the New Year...
All the years of my growing up, when I heard this, I believed that huge bells would start ringing in the sky and the New Year would appear like a bright white flash lighting up the sky and descend to the earth. It would fill the whole world, and when we woke up, we would see everything new and shiny and wonderful...
That never did happen physically - but I realized that one could wake up and feel all new and shiny and wonderful...
That too did not quite happen - and one woke feeling a kind of sadness, nostalgia, apprehension, and insecurity, with maybe a dash of new-shiny-wonderful...
Sometimes one would hear people philosophizing asking why only January 1st was New Year's Day. Why could not any day could be the beginning of a New Year. One could always have new beginnings...
Often it was just another day...
Today my mind turned to all those who:
Didn't have anything to look forward to
Weren't sure where their next meal was going to come from
Didn't know when the roof above their head would be ripped off
Were apprehensive about their jobs
Had mountains to climb just to survive
Knew that no one understood them and who were struggling with that
Knew that no one really cared about them
Felt that they didn't belong anywhere
Knew they did not have it in them to handle the difficult situations life would hand them
Knew they had a splintered home
Were at war with their neighbor, making living difficult and sorrowful
Could not get the bitterness out of their system
Just could not and did not want to face life
Were plain and simple afraid
Never knew a moment's peace and joy
Felt isolated and alone
That never did happen physically - but I realized that one could wake up and feel all new and shiny and wonderful...
That too did not quite happen - and one woke feeling a kind of sadness, nostalgia, apprehension, and insecurity, with maybe a dash of new-shiny-wonderful...
Sometimes one would hear people philosophizing asking why only January 1st was New Year's Day. Why could not any day could be the beginning of a New Year. One could always have new beginnings...
Often it was just another day...
Today my mind turned to all those who:
Didn't have anything to look forward to
Weren't sure where their next meal was going to come from
Didn't know when the roof above their head would be ripped off
Were apprehensive about their jobs
Had mountains to climb just to survive
Knew that no one understood them and who were struggling with that
Knew that no one really cared about them
Felt that they didn't belong anywhere
Knew they did not have it in them to handle the difficult situations life would hand them
Knew they had a splintered home
Were at war with their neighbor, making living difficult and sorrowful
Could not get the bitterness out of their system
Just could not and did not want to face life
Were plain and simple afraid
Never knew a moment's peace and joy
Felt isolated and alone
Scared...
to step into the New Year?
I am...
I think I'll go with something I read today in my Kabbalah newsletter, since this is the biggest concern I face...
Am I going to be a victim, and let feelings of hurt, bitterness, regret, sorrow, dim my life, thereby making me act like a victim...
or
Am I going to be a victor, and let the spark in me take over, since that spark belongs to Him who made me and knows all about me, thereby making me act like a victor in all situations...
No one is or can be right all the time...good things don't happen all the time...
But, there is no need to crouch and crawl - there is only need to recognize all things, and walk tall and straight...
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