about an article I read in the Times of India - Like daughter LIKE MOTHER, and thought back to the time when I was first made aware of the fact that one has to compete with one's daughter, if one is not to be shelved.
Walking down the corridor of the school where I worked, and smiling to myself because my DD was due home that day, I was stopped by a colleague who asked me how old my DD was - at the time I'm talking about, she was in her late teens, and I very proudly told her so. To which was a response I'd never expected...this lady goes - so what are you doing about yourself? are you going for a complete makeover aat the parlour? and a whole lot of questions in the same vein. When I finally understood the drift - because for a few minutes there I was kind of stunned into stupor - I realized that this lady was trying to tell me that our growing daughters were a kind of threat to our image, that we would start looking old, that we would be passed by without a glance, if we, mothers of teenage daughters didn't make sure we looked and dressed and talked and behaved in a manner that would make us seem young. As I said, I got into a kind of stupor, and then when the whole idea started getting clear, I totally and completely rejected it. I have always been and still am ENORMOUSLY PROUD of my DD and terribly, terribly proud to be her mother...and I love being acknowledged as such by all her friends...
While fully understanding and accepting the need of some mothers to look as young as their daughters, and be mistaken for their daughters' sister, I find the idea difficult to swallow. And my question is WHY? why do we shy away from our age? why do we shy away from accepting that this young, beautiful girl is 'my daughter'? why would we want the spotlight to even fall on us, when it is clearly the daughter's time in the sun? it's enough to be in her shadow, and pat ourselves and say what a great job we've done!!
What's wrong with chic and gracious and slow and lovely as opposed to hip and happening? - maybe we could even be chic and happening without compromising on our age?? and without being 60 going on 16?........................I wonder...................