Ever tried...

listening to the songs that totally had your mind and heart during your college days? those days when everything was drawn in the sharpest and brightest of colors, and songs would express the deep passions of your heart?

If you try this, 30, 40 years down the line, they give you an instant spirit-lift...that is what happened to me when I suddenly thought of some songs, and downloaded them (bless the Net)...I couldn't stop giggling, and it was the most delicious, spine-tingling feeling that swept through me....(I can just see my DD's face as she goes - oh Maaaaaaaaaaaaa!!)........some of the faves I remembered and tracked were: Jawaani aayi mast, mast; Ajeeb dastaan hai yeh; Dream, dream, dream; Pearly Shells; Are you lonesome tonight......Lord!! I think only this sums it up:

Dil dhoondtha hai, phir wohi, phursat ke raat, din.....

So, where are we headed?

It is at times like this, when the heroes (and that clearly included the ladies) of our youth pass on that we need to review where we are going...

Democracy means treating all people with respect, regardless of any difference, the common denominator being that we are all human, that we all have the potential to rise above ourselves. While it does not mean elitism, it means the recognizing of the elite - as opposed to feudal, and certainly as opposed to elitism by right - as well as the belief that everyone can rise to become elite....It does not mean a pedestrianization of culture, or a giving in to the lower side, or the base side of human-ness...it is to realize that we are not Bollywood item numbers in creation, but have it in us to create something higher, and something aesthetic in every part and areas of our lives and the way we live...

And talking about Pataudi...

that's one more icon gone...

There are some people who impact on us - for me it is Gayatri Devi, Pataudi, Jackie Kennedy, among some other, who have gone...I use 'is' because I still hold them as models in my mind...models of all that is gracious and elegant, fearless and very courageous, stylish but not vulgar, eminently cultured and yet discreet, and never coarse or crude, different and yet down-to-earth. Some notes in their personalities have struck a resonance - and this has nothing to do with any tangible reason...it is something completely intangible, something that I feel....kind of sympathetic notes?...but there...

I guess now their legacies will sustain those who are seeking for a blueprint to living...

Sharing some thoughts:

First class is not a boarding pass, it's a way of life...

and, a great favorite of mine - Excerpts from a poem by William Channing:

To live content with small means,

To seek elegance rather than luxury, 

and refinement rather than fashion. 

To be worthy, not respectable, 

and wealthy, not rich.

To study hard, think quietly, 

Talk gently, act frankly. 

To bear all cheerfully, 

do all bravely, 

await occasions, 

hurry never. 

                     
Which brings to mind what Pataudi said in an interview. To Karan Thapar's statement that his friends thought that Tiger Pataudi could have achieved more had he been a little less laid back, Pataudi's reply was brilliant. He said that he was probably prepared to accept that he was a little laid back, however - and here's the reply of a formidable cricketer - 'how much more I could have achieved by running around, I am not so sure. I am happy as I am.'


Clearly, clearly something to chew on and internalize...

It's about their personalities...

.......talking about people like Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi.....

or about Rahul Dravid, of Kumar Sangakkara, or Lionel Messi.....

or whoever one admires -

it's not so much about the game, for me....because there is precious little I know either about cricket or football....

for me it is always the person...I keep thinking about what might be going on in their minds, what kind of life do they live, what kind of people are in their lives, how are they like as people...

it's also about the way they conduct themselves on the playing field...

it's about the way they play...the beauty of the way they play...

it's about the way in they handle success and failure on the field...

it's about the way they work with their mates...

Think of...

the most delicious improbables you'd like to see come into your life....

for......you never know....

there might just be some lovely possibilities there!!

Sharing....

the ravage created by the earthquake in Sikkim...









This about sums it all up.....desolation...

Something that rankled...

was a statement I heard: Oh her life is going down the drain...

Somehow, the words troubled me no end, and kept teasing at my gut...till it came to me that in actual fact, no one's life even goes down the drain - no one can send anyone's life down the drain, and certainly we do not allow our own lives to go down the drain...we may make wrong choices in good faith and trusting, we are likely to take a whole lot of wrong decisions unknowingly, and more often than not, may make a number of mistakes, some serious and costly, and some minor. Even so, there is no need to define ourselves through another person's eyes, or damn ourselves because of anyone's judgments and pronouncements or predictions about us.

Each life is precious, and each life is certainly going somewhere, for, it's never too late to: put things in perspective, start afresh, begin anew, and discover something beautiful, hitherto unknown, within.

I do believe...

that rough journeys to a destination end up enriching your life...

Of course one can set out with a sense of adventure, or one may just find oneself, unwittingly, on harsh terrain, or one may find oneself totally ill-equipped emotionally and/or physically, on a rocky, rugged freeway.

Your life would then be counted not by the years, but by the mileage.... (to quote Indiana Jones)

A theory...

Ours is a multi-cultural society. Actually it is a multi- lot of things. One of the major questions that pops up, especially for those who belong to one state and find themselves settling in another state because of economic-marriage, or whatever-else reason, is: Where are my roots? Each state is actually a different country, so it is not unnatural for those from one state, who have settled in another, to ask themselves this question. No matter how well you may have integrated into the new place, the deep difference is always there - it may be at different levels below the surface for different people, but it is always there.

So how does one reconcile this deep difference - to my mind there is only one way - to spend time with yourself and really get to know your roots, appreciate where you come from, no matter how many flaws there are, and accept your roots. Being ashamed of your roots, will forever cause discomfort to your soul. You may get angry with it, you may reject aspects of it, but you cannot deny it, for actually, that is the only place where you will be ever accepted wholly for yourself. If, you can be comfortable about your roots, with all the internal adjustments you make for yourself, then you will never ever be a confused person especially when exposed to  cultures that are attractively different. You will learn to appreciate the very differences, maybe even accept some aspects of it, precisely because you are not confused about where you come from.

Thinking along these lines, a kind of theory popped up in my mind: If a person is comfortable in his culture, he will be accepting of others, and will never feel the pain and dissatisfaction of confusion. Such a person will be able to adapt to any environment, anywhere and in any situation and circumstance. A person who is not comfortable with his culture, is going to allow all kinds of winds to blow him all over the place with the result that there is nothing but confusion, and discontentment, leading to unhappiness and being disgruntled all the time. Of course, the ultimate would be to have roots within yourself, but even then, the faint perfume of what you are will always linger....that is something no amount of whitewashing will ever remove...

Something enticing...

Here's an utterly delicious phrase - and something to weave a dream around...

I'm going alone, to an undisclosed destination, on an undeclared day, for an unannounced length of time...

My grief...

The only words that can draw out pain are words like: Agony of my grief, anguish of my heart, burden of my pain, storm-swept barrenness of loss............this came to me when I read Howard Thurman’s meditation from ‘Meditations of the Heart.’  He puts it so beautifully - -

"I share with you the agony of  your grief,

The anguish of your heart finds echo in my own.

I know I cannot enter all you feel

Nor bear with you the burden of your pain;

I can but offer what my love does give:

The strength of caring,

The warmth of one who seeks to understand

The silent storm-swept barrenness of so great a loss.

This I do in quiet ways,

That on your lonely path

You may not walk alone."

When someone walks with you in this way, understanding your grieving, you know that you are in a safe harbour, and coming to terms becomes easier...

And again...

"A bereaved person, no matter what his or her age, needs safe places, safe people, and safe situations."

 - H. Norman Wright

How difficult it is to explain to someone that this is actually the only thing that helps...

Randomly asking...

Why is it that we try to fill our days with work? why must we be busy all the time being 'useful'?

Why can we not use the pauses that life puts us in, in quiet reflection, calm contemplation, and peacefulness?

Instead of measuring our days by the busy-ness of the hours, why not measure it by the not-doing-anything-just-sitting-still hours?

Talking about frames...

In all the pictures that we create in the frames of our lives, there have to be lines - these lines are terribly important, in that we must try not to cross them - lines between people (you have to recognize the validity of your life), events (the good, the bad, and the ugly), happenings (planned and unplanned, small and large), in everything....otherwise the picture will only be a blotch - the clarity and consequently the beauty of the colors, (including the black parts) will go. Remember the blacks and the blanks add to the shape. One doesn't want one's life to be a smudge...

Randomly thinking...

Just as in a marriage, each partner is a witness to the life of the other (from Shall we Dance), in our own personal life it is our parents who form the contours of our life, having seen us from the time we were born. (I guess older siblings would fall in this category too). In fact, Mom gives us the anchor from the time we are conceived... . They are also our point of reference. So, when the parents pass on, one has to be conscious of, or consciously try to re-form these contours to keep the point of reference and put our lives in context.....

'milling & thinking...

about an article I read in the Times of India - Like daughter LIKE MOTHER, and thought back to the time when I was first made aware of the fact that one has to compete with one's daughter, if one is not to be shelved.

Walking down the corridor of the school where I worked, and smiling to myself because my DD was due home that day, I was stopped by a colleague who asked me how old my DD was - at the time I'm talking about, she was in her late teens, and I very proudly told her so. To which was a response I'd never expected...this lady goes - so what are you doing about yourself? are you going for a complete makeover aat the parlour? and a whole lot of questions in the same vein. When I finally understood the drift - because for a few minutes there I was kind of stunned into stupor - I realized that this lady was trying to tell me that our growing daughters were a kind of threat to our image, that we would start looking old, that we would be passed by without a glance, if we, mothers of teenage daughters didn't make sure we looked and dressed and talked and behaved in a manner that would make us seem young. As I said, I got into a kind of stupor, and then when the whole idea started getting clear, I totally and completely rejected it. I have always been and still am ENORMOUSLY PROUD of my DD and terribly, terribly proud to be her mother...and I love being acknowledged as such by all her friends...

While fully understanding and accepting the need of some mothers to look as young as their daughters, and be mistaken for their daughters' sister, I find the idea difficult to swallow. And my question is WHY? why do we shy away from our age? why do we shy away from accepting that this young, beautiful girl is 'my daughter'? why would we want the spotlight to even fall on us, when it is clearly the daughter's time in the sun? it's enough to be in her shadow, and pat ourselves and say what a great job we've done!!

What's wrong with chic and gracious and slow and lovely as opposed to hip and happening?  - maybe we could even be chic and happening without compromising on our age?? and without being 60 going on 16?........................I wonder...................

Share...

the images or words that come to mind when you say the word - 'charm' to yourself?

Use this pointer - Age cannot wither her nor custom stale her infinite charm (have substituted the word charm for the original 'variety' - from Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra)...

Do share...it could be anything...

A reflection...

Looking back, in silence, on all that has happened in my life, one thing has become very clear -

God, (or Life, for those who don't believe in God), prepares us for every event - every single event....right actions, and even the wrong actions, good things that happen, and bad things that happen, hurts, and happinesses,  all blend together to get us ready for the next event - the next stage in our lives.

Just sit and reflect, and you'll see that everything follows a very clear pattern -

We really do not need to stress and struggle and despair - whatever we're doing is what we should be doing, and wherever we're at, is where we should be at, and what is happening, is meant to be happening. We only need to trust and surrender ourselves to the moment - even the bad-sad-unhappy ones--simply because it is happening as it should....

Realizing...

That the good Lord gives us, in abundance, what we need - and not what we ask for -

maybe its getting time to do a little more trusting and leaving it to Him, here....

Continuing my fascination...

Check out the wisdom of Mama Odie--- (an excerpt)


Don't matter what you wear,
How many rings you got on your finger
Don't matter where you come from
Don't even matter what you are





(all those who sought her) - they all knew what they wanted
What they wanted me to do
I told them what they needed
Just like I be telling you

You got to dig a little deeper
Find out who you are
You got to dig a little deeper
It ain't really that far
When you find out who you are
You'll find out what you need
Blue skies and sunshine guaranteed

All you need is some self-control
Make yourself a brand new start
Open up the windows
Let in the light

Blue skies and sunshine guaranteed!!
Could there be a better incentive??

Sharing...

something I came across, and which made a lot of sense - 

It is not the road ahead that wears you out - it is the grain of sand in your shoe.

                                                                         An Arabian Proverb

and can you just picture an unending desert to be crossed...

I love...

animated films...

they're utterly charming, contain nuggets of common-sense, and take you away into a wonderful world...

Randomly thinking about The Tree House...

 Small frames, large frames, plain frames....any kind of frame....

Look at everything that happens to you...

        Put everything that happens....

                        In a frame

And you'll see the difference it makes to you, the person. For, when you put everything into a frame, you are giving it a context. Contexts change, and so do frames................but, seeing things within a framework, make it easier to perceive, understand, handle, and accept.

We all need...

a treehouse...

Randomly thinking...

It's easier to have gentle thoughts when one is in a beautiful, calm, serene place....

easier to be tranquil...
         



          easier to be at peace...

Early morning rambling...

Am sitting at my desk waiting for my Newsletter edit page to open - its one of those days when the server is down, and my editor, teammates and I are all frantically trying to access the website. The newsletter has to come out by 10 a.m.....

Looking out of my window - my heart is getting restoring drafts of cool wind - its a GORGEOUS day outside...raining, and windy and dark...

Randomly rambling...

We do have a penchant, and clearly the ability, for trivializing? localizing? bringing-everything-down-to-the-lowest-levels-possible? everything - no matter what...

Now that the festive season is upon us, gods and goddesses are going to underscore and reiterate this...

Ganesh idols are in Anna Hazare mode, and who knows, maybe this year, Durga will be in the Mamata Bannerjee cast....

Napoleon's words come to mind:  'From the sublime to the ridiculous there is but one step.'

and for those who know French, the original, I'm sure, would convey the thought best: "Du sublime au ridicule il n'y a qu'un pas."

Thank God...

for Lionel Messi and Daniel Craig....

Their coming to India is a highpoint for all of us who are beleaguered by uncontrollable rising prices, the antics of politicians and media persons, whom you take seriously at your own risk and peril, and a crazy everyone-does-exactly-as-he-pleases country.

Thank God for Messi and Craig who bring to life and reinforce the belief that life can be exciting....and that life can be beautiful...

We can’t be Messi and Craig, but we can take some of their stardust and sprinkle it on ourselves.........

Sharing...

nuggets of wisdom from 'The Treehouse' by Naomi Wolf.

The story about a monk who lived in China - he spent his lifetime carving a stone cicada. It was a beautiful cicada. The very last thing he did was to carve a perfect ruby tongue in its mouth. Of course no one would ever see the ruby tongue. But the monk would know it was there. As a monk who was praying with his work, and as an artist, he knew that only when that unseen detail was finished would the stone cicada be complete...

Ordinary details are innately sublime; they are full of glory. When we notice the details, the glory reveals itself. But-----that does not mean we get bogged down by details.

A poem to live by:

STOP

GO BACK

YOU ARE GOING

THE WRONG WAY

Remember - There is room in the Universe for all of us and for all our efforts. No effort ever goes to waste. They all get connected...so,  Be happy doing whatever you are doing, NO MATTER WHAT COMES OF IT.