For all those who, like me, have had to take the painful decision of turning the tubes off of a parent... . When the doctors say that there is no hope, and no medication that can reverse the process that has set in, then what? Like all times when you have to take a decision, the feelings are: We'll look at it later; Right now do we have to decide?; Maybe we could ask some authority what we are to do, and so on... . Facing the moment when we have to take that final decision regarding the parent... how does one do it? Is what we are doing the only way?; Can we really take this decision?; On what basis are we going ahead with this decision? and the questions go on rattling in the mind, and heart. Cold intelligence says something, and the heart quite another.
Dignity in death is the ultimate gift you can offer a parent. It is the only tribute you can pay to someone who has borne you for 9 months, or from your birth, looked after you and set you on your feet. Of course, they too in their humanness may have screwed things up now and again, but at the end of the day, that person lying there helplessly in front of you is still your parent... . You have to decide whether you want to keep your parent forcefully alive, or whether to let him/her go in dignity and peace. The decision about the last moments of the one who gave you life, are now in your hands. It must be the most devastating decision you are ever faced with. But, when there is no other way, and you are sure that this is what your parent would have wanted and this is how you would want it to be for her/him, then from somewhere you get the strength and calm and peace of mind to finally say 'all right'...It is amazing then how all of life arranges itself with you to help you face the final moments in peace and with strength.