There are reams and reams of paper, and masses of digitized material on growing old...especially for women. I will confess to reading whatever I can lay my hands or eyes on about this phenomenon of growing old, how to age gracefully, and how to enjoy the twilight years.
But, a tiny thought kept nagging me: why women? was it harder for women to get older? why were most of the reassurances for women? And, then yesterday I read this wonderful thing - 'As women, we often try to do everything. For some, it's wrapped up in self-esteem. For some, it's a matter of being put in control or in charge. Some believe that the more we do, the worthier we are of love and respect'. The thoughts flew: It's true! Right from an early age we are used to giving and giving and giving. We take on the responsibilities of our brothers both older and younger, as well as our younger sisters. Often, when we see our mother struggling, we put our shoulder, tender as it may be, to the family wheel; a situation which then carries on through life. As adults, the same thing continues. At work, we tend to fill in for others, or help out after office hours, and at home, we find that we are the hub around which the family revolves. But age comes creeping on and it is when we have to start relinquishing many of the things we did, purely because the body just cannot go on, that the insecurities come creeping in. Sacrificing for the family comes naturally, but giving up and letting go for ourselves seems so hard to do...our sense self-esteem and self-worth take a beating. The question, we miserably and foolishly ask ourselves is, 'Are we being put out to pasture (as it were)?'
We do not see that we are merely stepping into another phase and we can continue to cultivate our minds. There is no age limit to that!! In fact, we are in a position to enrich the lives of the younger ones, provided we don't believe we have all the answers (that is so off-putting!). We, somehow, fail to see that this is the time when we can speak our mind and get away with it; wear red; cuddle and spoil the babies; lie down and read whenever we want to; have that extra cup of coffee; doze off when watching tv or listening to the drawing room conversation; and maybe for the first time in our lives, without compunction, we can - JUST BE -
And so, no matter we are struggling with our greying hair and sagging bodies, we need to vow to banish all self-negating thoughts, and step out in style...the best is yet to be...clearly...