Randomly sharing...

something I realized...   

Things happen, and you realize that you need to do a course-correction of your life. For me it was the moving away from all the roads that I've been travelling on, and surely and with no hesitation, putting my feet on the trail that is beginning to show itself. It is something I have to do.... have to allow myself to do....and it came upon me so quietly and imperceptibly. 

That's when I realized that all the reading and thinking we do, all the sorting out of the tangles in our life that we spend time and energy on, all the dealing with questions like 'is this what I'm all about, is this the real me?' that pop up at the unlikeliest of times, digging and scraping through all the layers of self-protection that we coat ourselves with, painfully pealing off coverings that we had put on for self-preservation, .....all of these lead to a heart-churning that we cannot ignore. They are kind of preparing the flower bed for the sowing......

The change, the fresh planting, as it were, though, when it does have to happen, happens without any fanfare or bugle call, or flash of lightning.....................there is no 'okay, this is it - i'm taking a new road', or ' this is the end of this phase - i'm going to change'. It's something very quiet that happens - it could be something someone dear says, it could be DD's advice, could be something read that resonates inside of you, could be something that's always been there but which you only just see - could be the rain that the wind blows across your window pane, could be that mechanically-done-everyday chore, .............................................and everything just quietly slips into place in our hearts, and we find ourselves on the road we had only hitherto dreamt of....pinpricks to revert, or go back, do happen......but from somewhere deep inside, a strength to withstand these also happens.................and a feeling of peace starts to steal in...

you know you would do well to carry on and not look back.....for that is your road...

Randomly thinking...

There is no new wisdom in the world - but when someone's wise words find resonance deep in your heart, and your heart strings fill your being with a beautiful tune, you know you have discovered a truth that is entirely your very own - and that wisdom colored with your experiences and the shades of your life, become yours to use and share...

My special day....

And I want to always remember that if I look, I'm sure to find flamingos in my backyard!!!

Tale of Two Cities...

No matter how many times I read the book, or watch the film, every time it feels like the first time. The power of it never diminishes and each character pulls at my heartstrings as powerfully as the first time... . To my mind, this is the greatest insight into human nature ever recorded....

The times—all times---are summed up as:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we 

were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way –

And the noblest of human feelings in the most dissolute of men at the time of his ultimate sacrifice, by the lines:

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

Charles Dickens truly wrote for eternity because times and human nature is the same today as it was in his time, and as it will ever be till the end of time... 

Some details:

Illustrator - Hablot Knight Browne

Cover artist - Hablot Knight Browne

The story was serialized weekly from April 1859 to November 1859

The genre is put down as Novel - Historical - Social criticism

Cover of the serial

Randomly thinking...

Life cannot be always lived in the light streaming in from a beautiful stained glass window...
Some ordinary days, and ordinary activities, and ordinary occasions get illuminated, sometimes.... but most are done in the shadow of un-illuminated, but ever-present stained glass windows...

From Minu, a dear, dear friend...

whose tears mixed with mine...and whose words blended with mine...(mine are in italic)

I cared for her

Like a babe in my arms

Her confused eyes

Focussed on my face...

Gently I pushed back her hair

And whispered in her ear

Sleep, sleep awhile...

My brother kept watch every night - i'd wake up suddenly, at all odd hours, and see him sitting by her bed, holding her hand, stroking her head, and know a sense of great peace 

She smiled wanly

Wondering

If this was how it was meant to be?

Somehow it felt different

She vaguely remembered being on the other side---

With her children...

Tired, oh so tired

She cried, " God have mercy."

She was the mother

And yet here was her daughter mothering her

She had always given

Now she was learning to receive...

She went away

But I felt trapped

My wings broken

Oh Mom, I cried

Unable to cope

Unable to com to grips

You just left,

Without a word, a hug, or a backward glance

You did not come back

Did you know we kissed you and hugged you – wanting to give you the reassurance that you were much, much loved

You did not come back

Could you hear us singing – in parts – in tune, without a single wrong note 

You did not come back

Bubbloobeta and I dressed you the way you wanted to be dressed, Mummy,

You did not come back

When we kissed you good bye, we thought that you may not really leave us, but,

You did...

And you did not come back

I could not get enough of your lovely face, but we had to cover you

You did not come back

You went away to be with Daddy – that’s where you wanted to be

You did not come back

You were in such a hurry to go away

 You did not smile or kiss me good bye, Mummy,

You did not come back

You left me an orphan with nothing

You did not come back

You just left, and now,

You will not come back...

If only...

we can learn to accept all the problems and downs that come our way, instead of wasting - spending our energies groaning, blaming the gods, blaming fate, blaming our parents, blaming the world, and looking for scapegoats...........................

If we accept the problems/heartaches/setbacks/pain, that life feels we need to have, the energy we save can be spent looking for the hidden nugget of wisdom, for there is surely a gem tucked away in the heart of every down...

It's not easy - but it's do-able, and the only - only - only reason why we need to do this, is that it is ONLY this way that we will ever feel free in our heart.... . So much of life goes into battling with our downs, so much of our energy goes into smothering our pain and tucking it away in some deep recess or the other of our heart and our being, so much mental strength goes into pushing down our natural selves just because they don't fit in with someone else's image of who we should be, so much effort goes into pretending what we are not so we can be accepted, so much stress and struggle goes into our fears - 'what will happen if I'm not part of this or that or the other,'  so much effort goes into protecting ourselves from those who may pain us, how much industry we put into serving ourselves up to the world...

My mother used to whistle - and this was one of her all-time favs - she'd whistle it, sing it, make us join in, and then whistle it again...(she'd picked it up from her brothers who were in the RAF)

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bags and smile, smile, smile
While you've a lucifer to light your fag.
Smile boys that's your style
What's the use of worrying,
It never was worthwhile,
So,
Pack up your troubles in  your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile

and a line from my fav movie, Rab ne.., 'fikr nu goli maar, yaar.'

Use that effort to get free...and release your heart...