28 September 2022
Out of the mouth of babes…
26 September 2022
I am 71…
and it is the going on ahead which I am thinking about. Here are some of my thoughts:
We are older and not so agile. There is a lifetime of mental, emotional, and physical wounds to deal with, illnesses to bear, financial constraints to work through and around….But, this is OUR time. Our chores and responsibilities are over, and now, older and wiser, battered and tired, we are on the last lap….Now is our very own time to do and be just what we want to do and be. OUR TIME…and we need to enjoy this time, celebrate our small achievements, and let go of all regrets, enjoy the things we liked but didn’t have time for, be responsible for ourselves, now that responsibilities for the family are over. It is a time for enjoying our grown children and the grandchildren as they come along, and be of help as and when needed. We need to look at life, not thinking about things to be done, but as gifts to enjoy. When we needed it, we had the energy to do what needed to be done at that time. Now we only need to do what we need to do for now. But, and this is the catch, now, we need to wake up and use all our mental, physical, and hidden inner energies to celebrate and enjoy life as it happens to us now…in these moments of every day…
23 September 2022
When we are young…
we go by what our parents teach us, and exhort us to do, and we absorb the intangibles of our home environment. We live our lives the way our parents teach us, and go by all the norms of our family. We have our place in the society our parents belong to. And so, as we grow we add to ourselves, building on the foundations our parents and society have laid for us.
But, then, as we grow up, and have experiences of our own, our life view changes and then we try to align what we grew up with, with what is happening within us in the present. I think this is where the conflict begins. Some of what we grew up with works in our present context, some may need a little tweaking, but some downright don’t work. We tend to fail to realize that we are different people now….the environment is different, most of our ‘usual’ habits have changed, often even our focus has changed….what’s important and what’s not has changed. The old is still there, but the new overlaps it. Some of us can reconcile the two, but some find it difficult and then, very often, an insistent voice whispers in our ear - but this is not what we are used to…. Or….. this is not how it is supposed to be…. Or…..this is not how we knew it to be done….. and many such incidents which may well stop us in our tracks. This is our growing up experience, and it is not age-specific. We then find a way to work on what is happening to us (‘something not usually what we were used to’), go ahead and do it, and when the outcome is positive, we feel good about ourselves and more confident in our skin. If the outcome is negative, we are still loth to go back to the old ‘usually done/thought’ way, and so try out new methods and forge forward. However, should we flip backwards and go back to the ‘usual’, then, as persons, too, we go back trying to find refuge in the old. And this never ever ever works out. This is when the dangerous words ‘I’ve always thought/done this like this’ become a trap and take us down into the depths of depression.
This is a life process we all go through. And we need to look out for each other…