on your friends.
We often keep a friendship going with someone who has been insensitive to us, hurt us, bossed over us, made us take decisions we know deep down weren't right for us and didn't resonate with our hearts....and at various other times have made us be and do what we know - we just know - doesn't feel right, for us...
In other words, it is as if we are trying to be someone else in the presence of this 'friend' simply because we desperately want this friendship, or don't want to be seen as a difficult person, or don't want to be alone...
How many times we make compromises on what we know or believe because we want a particular friendship....or we've wanted to hang on to that very popular person, thinking some of the gold dust would get sprinkled on us too...
We've traded in ourselves because we're too scared to be alone.....so we're ready to do anything - anything - to show that 'I too have friends', or 'I'm in this person's group.'
If we stop right here and think, we'll come to realize that anyone who makes us BE different isn't our well-wisher....does not have our interests at heart....is doling out bits of friendship only for their own ego massage, or to justify something for themselves, or they hiding behind us, making us a front for what they want to do, and so they have a ready-made scapegoat.
We don't - DO NOT - need these friends. Better to be alone, rather than get into a situation where we will be spending time and energy trying to put the bits and pieces of ourselves together...or scraping ourselves off the floor on which we've been wiped...
It's difficult to be alone, but it is definitely better to be alone than to be a nobody in somebody else's scheme of things...
07 July 2015
04 July 2015
28 June 2015
The evening of life...
As you grow older
The past slips in and out
And tries to trap you...
But you can walk on
And leave the past behind
Regrets - hurts - highs - joys
Dark shadows
Foil for the bright colors...
Chords - discords - silence
Create the music of life
Frail yet strong
Nothing can hold back or bind
The freedom of a soaring mind...
There are no shoulds or woulds
No fetters of tyrannical thought
When the shadows lengthen
And you live by the glow of your child's star
You know He is there, close at hand...
He has led you thus far
He will lead you through.
26 June 2015
Write...
your hurts/sorrows/bitternesses on a piece of paper and burn it.
Then
Release the people who caused these
And free up the space in your mind
So that a fresh breeze can blow through and play about in it...
Then
Release the people who caused these
And free up the space in your mind
So that a fresh breeze can blow through and play about in it...
22 June 2015
Mariane Pearl...
has always held a very special place in my heart and in my thinking.
I followed the gruesome events of Daniel Pearl's kidnapping and ultimately his terrible death, wondering and wondering who Mariane and Daniel Pearl were. Read the book - saw the movie - re-read the book and treasure it among my best...
These are not ordinary people. Really. And when they touch our lives, albeit through the written word and the movie world, our lives can never be the same. They MUST NOT be the same...
Of the many things Mariane said while dealing with her pain, was this:
I decided that if those who killed my husband were determined to show the gruesome side of humanity, I would display its integrity, beauty and resilience. That would be my true revenge.
I followed the gruesome events of Daniel Pearl's kidnapping and ultimately his terrible death, wondering and wondering who Mariane and Daniel Pearl were. Read the book - saw the movie - re-read the book and treasure it among my best...
These are not ordinary people. Really. And when they touch our lives, albeit through the written word and the movie world, our lives can never be the same. They MUST NOT be the same...
Of the many things Mariane said while dealing with her pain, was this:
I decided that if those who killed my husband were determined to show the gruesome side of humanity, I would display its integrity, beauty and resilience. That would be my true revenge.
20 June 2015
How often...
we don't do things, because the lines that pop up in our mind are: What will they say??? How will what I say or do, be perceived??? What will they think???
So, we put the reaction of others first, not thinking of ourselves...We hold ourselves back from saying something we believe in, or doing something we like, or emulating someone we admire....because of...."What will others say/think??!!!"
And the moment passes and we are left with the bitter taste of regret in our mouth.
It's a long hard battle that we have to engage in with ourselves in order to think about ourselves first and to give importance to our feelings, our talents, our abilities, and all that we think we can do. It's certainly not an easy battle, because we have to sift through the mass of feelings and thoughts that come up, to pick out those which are really important for us and to us, which mean a lot, and which we need to pay attention to. There is only one way we can do this and that is through quiet awareness of ourselves....the totality of ourselves. Meditation helps in the sifting process because that is the only way we come face to face with ourselves. This is the only way we can then take the next step of stopping to give explanations for ourselves.....what we are all about and why we think and act the way we do....both to ourselves and to others. For us to be at peace with ourselves, to align our hearts and minds and bodies, to lead a fulfilling life, we have to stop giving explanations for how and what we think or feel; stop giving explanations for doing the things we like to do; stop giving explanations for every action; and most certainly stop giving explanations for how we want to live or how we want to be, or, indeed, for how we are...
My search for answers led me to this site - Power of Positivity.
You don’t owe anyone a justification for your values and your priorities.
You don’t owe anyone a yes when you want to say no.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationships, whether lovers or friends.
You don’t owe anyone assistance with their happiness journey at the cost of your
own.
You don’t owe anyone a debate around your political views especially when the other
person’s mind is made up.
You don’t owe anyone an apology when you are not sorry, and you would make the
same decision again.
You don’t owe anyone a rationalization about why investing in yourself is important.
You don’t owe anyone the meaning of what you believe in.
You don’t owe anyone a change in your appearance just to please them.
You don’t owe anyone friendship, especially when they do not share your values.
You don’t owe anyone a negative mindset so that you can commiserate with them.
You don’t owe anyone access to information about your life that makes you
uncomfortable.
You don’t owe anyone gossip material about other people just to fit in.
You don’t owe anyone your time for their projects or for things that matter to them
unless they matter to you too.
You don’t owe anyone the commitment to try something “new” just because you
were asked.
You don’t owe anyone a safe place for constant complaining and dwelling in their poor
choices.
You don’t owe anyone an answer other than the truth to prevent them from being
uncomfortable.
You don’t owe anyone your services as a crisis counselor unless you are actually a
crisis counselor.
You don’t owe anyone false compliments just to make them feel better.
You don’t owe anyone anything that doesn’t make you feel good and goes against
your gut instinct.
So, we put the reaction of others first, not thinking of ourselves...We hold ourselves back from saying something we believe in, or doing something we like, or emulating someone we admire....because of...."What will others say/think??!!!"
And the moment passes and we are left with the bitter taste of regret in our mouth.
It's a long hard battle that we have to engage in with ourselves in order to think about ourselves first and to give importance to our feelings, our talents, our abilities, and all that we think we can do. It's certainly not an easy battle, because we have to sift through the mass of feelings and thoughts that come up, to pick out those which are really important for us and to us, which mean a lot, and which we need to pay attention to. There is only one way we can do this and that is through quiet awareness of ourselves....the totality of ourselves. Meditation helps in the sifting process because that is the only way we come face to face with ourselves. This is the only way we can then take the next step of stopping to give explanations for ourselves.....what we are all about and why we think and act the way we do....both to ourselves and to others. For us to be at peace with ourselves, to align our hearts and minds and bodies, to lead a fulfilling life, we have to stop giving explanations for how and what we think or feel; stop giving explanations for doing the things we like to do; stop giving explanations for every action; and most certainly stop giving explanations for how we want to live or how we want to be, or, indeed, for how we are...
My search for answers led me to this site - Power of Positivity.
You don’t owe anyone a justification for your values and your priorities.
You don’t owe anyone a yes when you want to say no.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationships, whether lovers or friends.
You don’t owe anyone assistance with their happiness journey at the cost of your
own.
You don’t owe anyone a debate around your political views especially when the other
person’s mind is made up.
You don’t owe anyone an apology when you are not sorry, and you would make the
same decision again.
You don’t owe anyone a rationalization about why investing in yourself is important.
You don’t owe anyone the meaning of what you believe in.
You don’t owe anyone a change in your appearance just to please them.
You don’t owe anyone friendship, especially when they do not share your values.
You don’t owe anyone a negative mindset so that you can commiserate with them.
You don’t owe anyone access to information about your life that makes you
uncomfortable.
You don’t owe anyone gossip material about other people just to fit in.
You don’t owe anyone your time for their projects or for things that matter to them
unless they matter to you too.
You don’t owe anyone the commitment to try something “new” just because you
were asked.
You don’t owe anyone a safe place for constant complaining and dwelling in their poor
choices.
You don’t owe anyone an answer other than the truth to prevent them from being
uncomfortable.
You don’t owe anyone your services as a crisis counselor unless you are actually a
crisis counselor.
You don’t owe anyone false compliments just to make them feel better.
You don’t owe anyone anything that doesn’t make you feel good and goes against
your gut instinct.
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