For other searchers like me...

I have tried and tried, and tried to search for and find a suitable answer to what stress is all about. My dravid brain needed something concrete.

This, by Dr. Hans Selye, clarified it completely for me:

Stress doesn't kill us, our reaction to it does.

Which automatically puts the focus on our inner selves (one cannot always blame the outside world...)

Adding to this was another thought: We bring stress to life when we take something we see/hear/read inside of ourselves. Before we know it, our thought processes have started working overtime, our perceptions take off in various tangents, our brains start dissecting and analyzing, and then....we get caught in our own thought-noodles creating more complex noodles, till we are completely entangled in our own noodle mess. Meanwhile all the other connected parts are slowly but surely empathizing with this noodly condition, and getting tighter and tighter, till we are a tight bundle of taut strings. But, has the outside changed? No---everything and everyone is carrying quite merrily...and us? we have incapacitated ourselves quite thoroughly. 

The example that suited me best to explain this to myself was this: I go for a walk on the road. There is huge traffic sometimes. Everyone, naturally has a right to a bit of the road. Then, there are the rambling pedestrians, focused-on-their-destination pedestrians, blissfully-unmindfully-connected-to-their-iPod folk, running-to-catch the bus commuters, have-a-snack-while-you-wait-for-the-bus/auto fast food wallahs with their moving stalls, dogs, cows, cyclists, and motorbike riders who believe that if there is no place on the road, there is certainly place on the sidewalks. Add to these, are those who smell bizops. They set up their wares quite attractively on what remains of the sidewalks. This is the reality. If I process these through my mind processes, instead of concentrating on my walk, the chaos and noise is definitely going to get to me, making me totally stressed-out. The reality, though, remains the same, and everyone is carrying on the same way, quite happily,...so, where did that leave me? and only me? Overwhelmed by and submerged in stress. 

But, if I focus on my walk, on every step, and on the ground I am walking on, then the environment just fades away out of my consciousness. Best of all, nothing has got under my skin, and I don't feel stressed at all. On the contrary, I feel quite refreshed.

This also brought home to me the concept of mindfulness and to be fully concentrated only the task in hand...

Am feeling so much happier and at ease inside of myself...

?

On my walk, I came across this sign in front of a makeshift shed:

                                          Car Spa

Couldn't contain a smile, because the word spa conjured up all kinds of exotic images...visualizing a car in a spa which to begin with looked anything but a spa was more than my imagination could contend with.

Charming thought though...

Randomly thinking...

I thought I was the center of the Universe

                       till

I realized that I was not in it

I was not even in the peripheries of it

Not even beyond the peripheries

I was just a tiny atom of dust

Subject to the forces of man, beast and nature

At the mercy of every wind that blew

Not knowing how to counter them, or stand up to them

Till finally,

I found a resting place beneath a tiny little leaf of a tiny little plant

Visible only to the eyes of my God,

And those who love me...

Randomly rambling...

I miss Kol...

Sleepy Kol
  Fun Kol
    Crazy-where-else-would-you-get-married-in-a-balloon Kol
      Noisy and messy Kol
        Warm-hearted Kol
          Aggggrrrrrrrrravatingly slow Kol
            Non-judgmental-very-accepting Kol
              Ever-helpful Kol
               Jim Reevsey - Nahum - Park Street Kol
 What's-the-rush-all-about-there's-all-the-time-in-the-world Kol                                                           
                                                       

                                


                 

Imagery...

We Indians have this amazing ability of very successfully Indianizing everything foreign. In fact, we even succeed in localizing everything foreign to fit into our comfort zone. Language is no exception, especially the English language. We have very successfully Indianized English, and localized it so that we have Hinglish, Benglish, Malglish, Tamglish and so on. The result is a very colorful language. Among the many ...glish words that I hear all around me, two that I heard recently utterly charmed me.

One was a word I heard on TV. There was a gentleman who was talking very excitedly about the flag hoisting in Kashmir and he went, ' ...after the flag hoist.....'!!

The other was when I went to get a lumbar belt for my cousin. I'd gone to buy a cotswool nightie for my cousin who is, well, fat. So I asked the store guy for a large size. He goes, 'Madam, your sister is healthy? very healthy? or just healthy?' this was his sweet way of asking how fat she was!!!!!!!!

Evocative??!!!

An AMAZING lady...

 

Should you ever, ever, ever visit Doha, Qatar, you simply HAVE to have a meal at La Dolce Vita in the Souq Wakif. It is run by an Italian lady - Tatiana - and what an amazing lady she is...

The restaurant has a few tables indoors, a few in a covered veranda, and a few outside in a paved courtyard. It's as beautiful indoors as it is outdoors. The ambiance is very Italian, and somehow the combination of Italian and Arab, is irresistibly enchanting, and quite, quite captivating... And what makes the meal a beautiful experience is the lady of La Dolce Vita herself. As she chats with you, putting you at your ease, you realize what an extraordinary lady she is; strong; knows her mind; knows how she wants to live, and actually lives the way she wants; loves what she is doing; enjoys the whole experience of ensuring that you relish your meal (after all food is very important in Italy). You can actually feel the vitality in her; the zest for life as it were. You go through the menu, and maybe even choose what you feel you are going to like eating. But, the final decision is only taken with Tatiana, as she instinctively helps you choose a good meal. She discusses each dish as if it had its own personality, its ingredients, and what it will go best with...you get the feeling that the food is being cooked just for you...and so it is not an assembly-line/pre-cooked/pre-arranged kind of food that is served, but something very caringly dished up... just for you...and then when you have had a very satisfying meal, and are ready to leave, she smiles her good-bye and hopes you will come again - and of course, if we ever go to Doha again, La Dolce Vita is definitely on the have-to-visit-list!!

...in any case we have to try the gelato...(we couldn't this time, 'cos we were so full, but next time, maybe we could do the gelato first?)

Ring out the old, ring in the new...

When I was a child, 31^st of December was a big day, and the 1^st of January was an even bigger day. 

…31^st was big because I believed that this was the day when the old year ended – ended as in over forever, and so everything that happened was also over for ever – it was like putting the lid on a box. Shut tight. Locked. The End. And that was that. And so on this last day, I would make sure that my cupboard was tidy (all my clothes were washed and ironed, and neatly folded); my desk was orderly with text books and notebooks neatly stacked (all torn pages were repaired, and all books neatly covered and labeled); pens and pencils ready for use; dustbin cleared; and everything in my room was washed, dusted and cleaned. I’d get Mummy to change my curtains and bed linen; get my rug washed and cushion covers and sheets changed on my diwan. My copper lamp stand would shine!! Oooooh my room would be spick and span….There was no single chore left over for the next day. That was my way of ensuring that the Old Year was over and that I was ready for the New Year. I eagerly waited for midnight. So eagerly, that I almost used to wish it in with all my being….it was a breath-catching time – waiting to greet the New Year; waiting to usher it in. 

We usually went to midnight service in the college chapel, and to morning service at the Church. Surrounded by people I loved and who loved me, at 12 sharp, I would truly feel that the New Year had begun. 

….and so, the 1^st was bigger, because it was blest, and it was brand new and everything was just right – on my part, I would promise myself that I would do my best, give of my best, be my best…The brand new feeling lasted a long time into the New Year, till daily life made it old again…and then there was the eagerness of waiting once again for the 31^st when, magically, all the bad would be wiped away, and there was another year waiting when things could be done/made right…

Then came a period, as I grew older, when it was fashionable to be cynical – I mean, what’s new about the New Year; it’s just another day. What’s all this about resolutions; resolutions are meant to be broken. What’s the fuss about New Year; it's just the day  after the 31^st, right? And so on. The charm seemed to have gone.

However, strangely, now that I am closer to 60, this 31^st Dec-1^stJan I felt the same child-like looking-forward-to-a-brand-New Year feeling. We rang in the New Year with our daughter and son-in-law, and I had the same heart-throbbing-chest-constricting-breath-catching moment when the clock struck 12, and I had my loved ones around me…and I walked into a brand new day and a brand New Year...