Madness…

The word History refers to events that took place in the past. We learn from the past so that we don’t repeat the same mistakes. But in our country, periodically, especially during election campaigns, we pull out the past and cause death, destruction, and mayhem. Even now. So what have we learnt? And with what face do we go to our places of worship? The Creator made all people the same. No differences. But what have we done? Instead of living in peace, instead of living and letting others live, instead of respecting all life, we kill and loot and destroy, shaming our Creator… Then what progress are we talking about? What ‘strides of mankind’ are we referring to? Damn those who instigate the people because I do believe that left to ourselves we, the simple, ordinary people, will never kill or destroy our brother or sister. Daily life in our country is so challenging, that just keeping it together is hard enough. Why cause this kind of insanity to happen… Too, too sad…

Nodame Cantabile…

is one of those fantastic Japanese manga series which plays on Netflix. To say that the music is fantastic is to say less. What a series! And what music!! Once again I am totally and completely zapped by the way the East Asian countries have mastered Western Classical Music. Simply amazing….. and I feel that the depth they have been able to give Western Classical Music is unparalleled. They have not only learnt and become supremely proficient in an art form that has been the sole prerogative of the Western world, but have internalised it and I feel, they have added their cultural depth to it, colouring and shading it with their own heart, for music is first and last of the heart…I feel the difference - when I listen to a piece of Western Classical music played by the best philharmonic orchestras of the world, it speaks to me in one way, speaks to my brain, but when I listen to it as part of a K-drama series or a Japanese movie or series, played by Korean or Japanese musicians, it totally engulfs my heart… I have also heard Chinese students of Western Classical Music play the piano - it’s a totally different experience…

Shōgun…

is a fantastic series. I have been fascinated by this character right from my youth. In fact, samurais and the concept of samurais has always held my heart and my brain. 

Shōgun is a Japanese theme and so regardless of the foreign directors, and producers, I thought it would be an authentic series. Of course they have tried to be as real as possible but unfortunately there is one explicit sex scene which I felt took away from the series. It was totally not necessary to show that scene. The Korean and Japanese films that I have seen till now have shown love, attachment between men and women, and even physical attraction between men and women in a very elegant and appealing way. The actors have been able to convey deep feelings without taking off their clothes….The passion has come through without showing the sex act. To my mind this sex scene in Shōgun detracted from the movie. 

I have always believed that cinema is a very powerful medium and as such they influence and shape our thinking. One does not have to use the f word to express emotions, nor does one have to show sex scenes to add to the story. Good acting is convincing, and can express the whole range of emotions in a sane, normal, compelling, aesthetic way. 

The West had started losing its charm some years back, but for want of good cinema, I would watch Western Cinema with a lot of fast forwarding. Then I felt it was not worth even this effort. And finally I stopped watching Western films totally. 

Korean, Japanese, and even Chinese films (though I have seen only very few Chinese films), have shown that the deepest feelings and thoughts, both negative and positive, can be expressed in perfectly good, dynamic and eloquent language and aesthetic visuals. Their power of expression is truly superlative. May they never go down the Western way…

Western Classical Music…

I’ve been very fortunate in finding the most eclectic and beautiful selection of Western Classical Music in some of the books by Japanese authors, as well as by some Korean authors. Whenever I come across a piece of music that the author has referred to, I check it on Spotify, and I have to say that each piece has been germaine to what the author is writing about. Incredible. A couple of times the music referred to is something that I know but still when I play it on Spotify and read the page along with it in the background, the whole meaning comes alive…it’s like the music is needed to read that particular page or chapter…. And I just love it! 

And again the question comes up — how do they - the Japanese and Korean filmakers and authors - use Western Classical Music so effectively…

Christmas in Calcutta…

Why does Christmas in Calcutta always make my heart full to overflowing and fragile….?

I had the same overwhelming feeling yesterday when I went to St. Paul’s. The streets were crowded. Humans of all ages, from itty-bitty ones to elderly-very elderly ones were all out in shining, shimmering, festive gear. Calcutta too was all dressed up. Every footpath either had an array of mind-boggling refreshments, or an assortment of handmade Christmas knick knacks from reindeer hairbands to Santa caps, to add to the festive cheer. Not an inch of space was to be seen on the roads. It was like a large river of moving lights and people wanting to experience the magic of Christmas. And believe me, there was magic in the air. How else could one explain the crowds at bus stops and not a single child crying? Bus routes had been reorganized so that pedestrians could move around safely enjoying themselves. I did not see any trace of irritation on anyone’s face. Nor was there a sense of haste. Everyone was quite happily and peacefully moving around enjoying being out with friends and family. 

There wasn’t an inch of space in St.Paul’s either in the huge front yard or in the Church. And yet, there was no impatience on anyone’s face!!!! People moved in an orderly way to see the Nativity scene, and others walked around enjoying the very palpable Christmas atmosphere. 

On my way out, I saw something which made me catch my breath. A family was wheeling a stretcher bed with a lady on it. All the girls in the family were dressed up, makeup included, and the lady in the wheeled stretcher was also beautifully dressed and made-up. They were going to St. Paul’s. The crowd parted to let the family through, but noone looked pointedly either at the lady on the stretcher, or at any of the other family members. It was as if this was a common sight… an acceptance of all people regardless of… a celebration in which everyone was participating….

And this is why I LOVE Calcutta. Whether it is the Pujas, or Eid, or Christmas, everyone, but everyone is out to celebrate. I used the word celebrate because I want to stress that it was not just having fun, it was a recognition, acknowledgement, and honouring of the innate humanness of every Calcuttan regardless of the labels insecure, evil, and wily politicians try to divide us with… 

Why I love K-dramas and K-films…

I first heard about the Korean wave that was sweeping through Calcutta (my hometown) last year. I heard people swearing about K-dramas and films, Korean actors, Korean food, and everything Korean. I had never witnessed this kind of enthusiasm about anything ever…and so I decided to find out and explore this phenomenon that had so captured everyone’s imagination.

And now I am totally and completely hooked. 

I was tiring of the Western outlook on things, and the West-is-best way of life, and the Indian outlook was only getting worse by the day. The Korean wave, therefore, came as a breath of life as it were. 

K-drama - amazing take on all aspects of life. Each drama has a different approach to the issues and problems we face as human beings. Filmakers are not afraid to protray their society as it is, warts and all…this is so refreshing because no matter the country or the people, human problems and issues are the same. The outward sheen may be different, but deep down human beings are the same. Thus, I am finding the answers to many of my questions in K-dramas and films. 

Analysing why K-drama is so appealing, and yet so realistic, this is what has gone deep into my soul:

The people - there is definitely something very engaging about the people. The actors are all extremely well-groomed, and look very good. Obviously they pay a lot of attention to their personal care and appearance. They are smart and exceedingly well dressed and don’t have to wear skimpy revealing clothes in order to be noticed. Even their loose-fitting clothes are worn with style and ease. Whatever they wear, whether it is the hanyeos, or those who work in the shops and markets, or the professionals, or the corporate workers and honchos, or the homemakers, or the housekeepers and traders, or the armed forces, they are all beautifully turned out - understated elegance at its best. Regardless of occupation and social class, they are all trim and beautiful - and I purposely say beautiful for both women and men, because they really are so without losing even a bit of their femininity or masculinity….in fact their femininity and masculinity is very aesthetically pronounced… 

I stick with the films in Korean with subtitles in English because I feel that hearing the actor’s voice is hugely inportant in understanding the character as well as the film. Dubbing doesn’t either enhance the character the actor is playing, or the film…it’s like some disembodied voice floating around…. The subtitles are excellent and convey very accurately what the actor is feeling and trying to say. I feel the Korean language is flowing and colourful as well. Very evocative and beautiful. 

The cinematography is par excellence. Just the way the camera pans in on the character, or the surroundings, is unbelievable….and the message these shots convey enhance the emotion of the scene. In fact, sometimes the shot carries that particular part of the story more effectively than words…Even the play of light and shadow is fantastic.

The music - K-dramas use music very effectively. Korean music, both pop and classical is superlative. The use of their indigeous instruments creates a fantastic atmosphere. They use Western Classical Music too very effectively. Their choice of music takes their films and dramas to a whole new level. Out of this world!!

Themes. I’ve seen so many films and dramas, and not once have I seen a theme repeated. They take the simplest of topics and weave a very probable story around it…so realistic, in fact, that one knows right away that this is not some con job, or somebody’s rambling. It could be a theme set in any historical period, it could be some very real social issue, it could be a theme worked out around a kitchen…a small pub or café or restaurant,  or showing life in a village….lives of ordinary people from various walks of life all living in a community, and the dynamics that naturally evolve…. I’ve never ever known that the surreal could be so integrated with the reality of daily life and yet I see this theme being treated so beautifully in K-dramas. It goes to the credit of Korean film makers that they are not afraid to show reality as it is without resorting to any gimmickry or whitewashing or foolish misrepresentations. And through the intensity of all of these, they are able to show the strength and beauty of the human mind and form. Unbelievably fantastic. I am so grateful that I am able to witness and see and learn so much not only about myself, but also about society, and about people in general…..

Romance. I totally totally totally love the way the love angle is treated in K-dramas and films. There is none of the jumping-into-bed-violent-sex, which is beyond hideous. Nor is there any kind of crudity or vulgarity. The ‘falling in love’ parts are sensitively and beautifully handled. In fact, the whole love theme with all the various angles is treated very, very aesthetically and tenderly in K-dramas and films. The feeling of protecting the loved one is genuinely caring and sensitive. This is, to my mind, beyond beautiful…

Emotions. Emotions are expressed very naturally in K-dramas and films, and they are very intense, but though emotions run high, we can watch, hear, and assimilate without being subjected to any crudity.  It could be the Confucian/Buddhist influence, but intense scenes are shown without resorting to vulgar language (especially the use of the f-word), nudity, undue violence, and drug addiction.

Since there is no rush and hurry in their dramas and they are not unnecessarily fast paced, one gets immersed in the storyline, and when the drama ends, one actually feels sad to say goodbye to the characters who had over the days become such a part of life, as it were…! 

More than anything, it is such a relief to be able to watch a film with friends and family without being enbarassed or temporarily turning the tv off. 

What a beautiful people, and what a wonderful country….I wish you always only the very best….

Continuing the thoughts…

in my last blog, I came across a post called ‘the danish way’, and I’d like to share them here:

In a world that can often feel chaotic, it’s important to find balance. Instead of aiming for perfection or constant happiness, wee should value the small moments that bring us connection and prsonal growth. Chasing perfection or endless happiness can be tiring. It’s better to accept that life can be challenging at times, and that it’s okay not to be perfect. The real treasures are found in the moments when we connect with others, enjoy the simple things in life, and grow as individuals by following our own unique paths. These moments give depth to our lives. 

Simple conversations…

I’ve learnt over the past few days, have a great deal to offer. I realized that there are days when I don’t talk at all other than maybe answer questions, or make a list of things I need around the house… but I seem to have completely given up talking — simple exchange of greetings, chatting before heading home from the gym, chatting with the vendor when I go to get vegetables, chatting with the gardener, and most of all chatting with my daughter…. I realized how silent my home is with everyone immersed in their work, or their reading, or doing their own thing, and I am as guilty of these… In the Kdramas, and the occasional Japanese movie I see, this is the one thing that struck me—how much they talk with each other. Nothing philosophical, or arcane, or of any great ‘value’…just chatting with each other, exchanging their thoughts, or ideas, or impressions….but what harmony it brings about…what a symphony of words and thoughts…and how beautiful is the feeling left behind after this sharing. It’s not always only high-faluting theories, or high-minded thoughts, or serious ideas. It’s also just talk about their homes, people they meet, food they eat or would like to eat, pretty flowers they see in a florist’s shop, the weather, things they have heard or read about….and a genuine interest in each other’s daily ordinary lives…. How enriching this is. Mind you, it is not gossip, though sometimes some threads may creep in….it is just sharing the daily events that happen, the book one is reading, something they got at the neighbourhood store… simple exchange of what’s on their minds. It was so wonderful to see how they chatted when having a meal…not only about the food, but about where they got the ingredients, or which store they shopped at, the recipe, their own versions of the dish, and the memories attached to the food they were eating. Real fellowship… it was not just a grab a bite and say a hello and a good bye, and a see you later kind of meal….it was real fellowship at a meal prepared by someone in the home. Another terrible fault I realized was how often we say the words ‘Oops I have to rush’, ‘ Gosh, look at the time! Got to go’, ‘I have to go now, but let’s meet up’… Is it really so difficult to put things aside for a bit and spend some time just chatting and catching up? And yet, when we do spend time — the relaxed kind of spending time, and not the rushing kind of spending time, how good it feels…What a beautiful, serene aura is created… what bonds are formed… what peace is generated…. 

A news item…

that is bothering me a lot…..

I read a news report on May 9, that India ‘inked an agreement on mobility which will allow 42,000 Indian workers to work in Israel in the fields of construction and nursing.’

To my mind, this is a terrible tragedy. Our young men are going as construction workers because the country has denied them a good education, training in skills, and the opportunity to work and earn their livelihood in our own land. These people learn their work on the job and excel in it because a foreign country will not accept anything substandard. They work with discipline, decipher challenging tasks and construct the most amazing buildings. I have seen the miracles our labour force has created in the Gulf States. And now they are being offered jobs in Israel. 

But we, in our own land, cannot offer our young and able these opportunities. 

Their whole life will be spent abroad, in poverty and loneliness so that they can support their families here and ensure that their children get the opportunities they were denied. They keep just a small portion of their salaries and send the rest back home. They live, often 3 or 4, if not more, to a room. They come home once in two or three years to see their parents aged and dying, their wives and children as strangers. A short holiday when they work to build a home for their families, or do the things that need to be done, and then it is time to go back. It is the money that they remit here that keeps the country going - our politicians in comfort for doing nothing, our pathetic and broken systems struggling as patch-up jobs. 

Today’s paper talks about the shortage of nurses in PGIMER, a premium research hospital in Chandigarh.

https://www.hindustantimes.com/punjab/nurses-strike-at-pgi-puts-resident-doctors-on-toes/story-QejeMljZFE0wlEUfNbLheO_amp.html

There is a severe shortage of nurses in the whole country and we are sending them abroad where they will struggle, and sacrifice, but will be able to send money home for their families to live respectably, at least. We cannot train those who apply for nursing in the best practices of medicine, nor can we offer them jobs with good salaries….and yet I have seen how premier hospitals abroad vie to get Indian nurses to work in their hospitals simply because they are so good…so efficient, and skilled…

We too need skilled workers and nurses in our country for our own growth and healthcare. 

We feel proud when Macron communicates with the PM, and Biden invites the PM on a State visit…..It is not as if these heads of countries do not know the tragedy that is a reality for most Indians…but they want to trade….and part of that trade agreement is sending labour abroad….. and ethics be damned…

It looks like our main, possibly only export is our people….. Instead of using our human wealth in our country, we are sending them away to build other countries, while we remain in blinding poverty with no hope of any kind of healthcare for the common man. 

Why do we rush around…

Are 14 hours not enough for us, if we keep 10 hours for sleep and rest? 

We must be doing something wrong if we cannot spare a few minutes at the end of the day to think on the good thing or things that happened, or indulge ourselves with a few minutes of solitude in which we can put our feet up and relax with a glass of wine to think back on all that happened.

The worst statements ever are ‘I’m so busy’, and ‘There’s so much to do every day’….  And others in the same vein. Not talking about procrastinating, though some tasks are better done, or trashed, upon holding for a day or two. The truth is that we lose out on a lot when we try to rush through things. Worst is that we often make mistakes which we then have to go back to rectify. Would it then, not have been better if we had approached each task slowly and with care to begin with? Think about it—how many tasks do we go back to redo in a day? How many do we do at one go? How many do we take the time to prep for, instead of diving headlong into it? Do we take the time to enjoy and savour the mid-morning cup of coffee or tea? 

We often dive headlong into a day straight from bed and go on in the same rushed pace because we think that is what is expected of us if we are working adults…and this includes homemakers. If we are not doing something, then we are doing something wrong…we are failing somewhere. If we are not talking heavy office or store jargon all the time, then we are not doing justice to our work….by rushing around and mouthing heavy, complicated words, we are showing the world how busy we are. We need to be seen constantly sending and receiving msgs and mails to show we don’t have even a single spare moment. We need to be on the phone if we are not on the computer….because we are ‘so busy’. 

Taking the time to enjoy a coffee, having a proper meal, sitting and catching up with a friend, calling a loved one, talking about simple ordinary daily things, spending an easy happy hour with our loved ones, giving our children and families the best of our time and energy…. Are these a ‘waste of time’? It seems like it since we rush through them without savouring them. However, believe me, if we take time out for things that mean something to us, or take time to be with those who are precious to us, or give ourselves time to be with ourselves, we will get all the tasks assigned for the day, done…and done well. Believe me. This works. And you will not wake up ragged, and go to sleep ragged, with a feeling of being incompetent or burnt out…

A wonderful statement…

to live by:

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

~ Rebecka Peterson

Be grateful, we are reminded at least twenty tines a day….but we rarely stop to say the words ‘Thank you’. Or, we say it in a rushed way, because we are rushing off to do/complete the next task in a rushed way, because there are other tasks lined up which we have to rush around to finish before the day is over. This is not being thankful for blessings received, it is not being grateful. However, if we consciously create a space for ourselves at the end of the day when we can look back on the day and find the good in it, we will be able to actually see the good thing/things that happened and say our Thank you properly. This is gratitude and this brings with it its own blessing…

A long time…

since I’ve been here. And I missed it…

Back from my stay with my daughter. 

So much has happened in the days I’ve been off the computer - some painful, some happy, some fun, some sad. Learnt a lot too. And one big lesson I’ve learnt is about the change that happens when we grow older. Often our grown children, with children of their own, get impatient with us, leaving us with a helpless, confused feeling. We feel inadequate and realize that somewhere, somehow, we are falling terribly short of what our children want of us, causing painful misunderstandings, and sometimes breakdowns in communication. Some of us oldies curl up inside of ourselves, feeling the pain of aging, and the various traumas this brings along with it, while the younger ones feel an equal pain of not understanding and expectations going awry.

Talking with a friend of mine (my daughter’s generation), who was telling me about how she frequently gets upset with her mother…She said her mother, a doctor, (my generation) was very active, managing her home and bringing up 3 children, fulfilling the myriad duties required of her. She was always in charge, always on top of things. But now, it is sometimes  difficult even to get her to understand things - especially changes that are happening all around. She, whose responses were lightning fast, now takes a long time to get a grasp of the matter in hand, and a longer time ro respond, often resulting in unhappy silences, confusion in understanding, and deep distress all around. She was forgetful, and mixed time zones and memories. As we talked, things became clear to both of us…..to her, that this is normal, that this is all part of the aging process, and that her irritation, impatience, and upset was because she was not used to this from her mother…. It was difficult to see her mother like this. And what  became clear to me was that my daughter’s not understanding or impatience was also precisely this - I am not the person I used to be…not because of anything ‘wrong’ that I had done, or callousness of feeling, or indifference…it is because she cannot, is not able to get or accept that I am the same Mum but with worn-out edges…

Two beautiful characters…

Mameha in Memoirs of a Geisha. The book, a historical fiction novel by Arthur Golden, is about achieving a goal, and how one has to struggle to achieve that goal. A geisha symbolizes the beauty and elegance of Japan, and Nitta Sayuri learns her art with great skill under the tutelage of Mameha, a geisha whose gentle smile hides a will of steel. 

And,

Lily Casey in Half Broke Horses, a book by Jeannette Walls. Lily, a straight-talking girl of the wild west tames wild horses, beats ranch hands at poker, and saves lives with equal ease. 

Both girls, Nitta Sayuri and Lily Casey handle everything Life throws at them with immense courage, determination, composure, and….a smile…

A man with great integrity…

Nadav Lapid, Israeli filmmaker. 

I admire the way he sunmed up and spoke about the film The Kashmir Files. In spite of the huge backlash both from the Indian Film Festival of India and the criticism he received from the Israeli diplomats in India, Lapid did not back down.

Every word he has spoken is from the depths of truth. One sentence that jumped out at me was this:

‘…in countries that are increasingly losing the ability to speak the truth, “someone needs to speak up.”’ And he has spoken up. He has spoken in the context of the Film Festival. 

This article is an absolute must-read…

https://www.telegraphindia.com/india/kashmir-files-row-israel-filmmaker-nadav-lapid-stands-by-his-comments-on-film/cid/1901209

(So very grateful to know that there are some fearless people of great integrity who are not afraid to speak out…who can tell it as it is….who will not hide/ignore or sugarcoat the truth…I had written about Gianni Infantino, who was one such person, and now here is Nadav Lapid).

Lately…

I’ve been thinking a lot about why we women go through crisis points. This applies to all women, regardless of social standing, wealth or the lack of it, super efficient women or winging-it women, working women or stay-at-home women…all categories of women. Comes a time in life when women question themselves, their place in the universe, their place in the home, their place as wife, sister, or any other familial position they hold….indeed, even their place within their own selves. Of course, society does put pressure, both seen and unseen on how women ‘should’ be, how women ‘ought’ to be, how women are ‘expected’ to be. A kind of taken for granted that women combine home with work, with social life, and with all the odds and ends of life that are left around. A subtle but definitive kind of expectation that it is the job of women to make sure that everything runs clockwork, no glitches anywhere, and still look perfect, and behave perfectly….be the gracious, loving, caring, tiptop wife/mother at the end of the day. No room for anger, or feelings of frustration, or gaaahhhhhh moments, with ‘I’m done’ moments not too far away. We may take coffee breaks with our friends, or by ourselves, indulge in retail therapy, or go to the beauty parlour…but how many of us are actually able to disconnect ourselves from the lists of chores that we instinctively make every morning? There isn’t any prioritising for women—everything is a priority because everything has to be done. What starts out as a loving and efficient homemaker ends up as a crabby homemaker with feelings of being taken for granted, and put upon, and feeling as if she is on a treadmill that doesn’t stop. She can have help come in, but it doesn’t ease the feelings of being the home drudge and workhorse. And if she is a working woman, all these feelings end up getting magnified. 

How to have moments of total disconnect? How to have ‘me’ time…real ‘me’ time? How to take time off to reconnect with our core? How to just stop everything and curl up with a book and a glass of wine? How to do what I really want to do without explanations to anyone or most of all, without reasoning it through with myself? 

We know we must not give the strings of our lives to anyone. We must not become slaves to work, housework, or work outside the home. We must be our own people. We must not conform to what is ‘expected’ of women. We must find time for ourselves…. And yet we get so caught up in the whirlwind of everyday life and chores around home and family that we not only put ourselves on the back burner, but we neglect ourselves so completely till one day there is an explosion….

We just have to learn to treat ourselves a little more kindly and lovingly, ensure we are healthy for our own sakes, and in the midst of the turmoil of life, we need to create and fiercely protect our inner haven…

Why does football…

evoke such strong feelings? Something about the game…? Or the mystique that we build up around the players….? And the ferocity with which we defend them…? They don’t even know who we are, scattered all over the world, but for this one month, they belong to us. We cross boundaries, revere flags other than our own country’s, learn up every single detail of the lives of our heroes, open a piggy bank account for the next World Cup……you name it! World over, restaurants serve up menus with the names of football teams, or the countries playing that day, drinks are creatively rechristened, the decor is football-themed, big screens are set up so one doesn’t miss a second…malls look like mini football stadiums… parks are set up with massive screens, along with smaller settings in tents and smaller screens….home routines are worked out around match timings…what a fever….and it carries everyone along - this is the most beautiful part. No borders define us, no economic class separates us, no age limit bars us, no ethnicity colours us….it’s just football, football, football… One season of madness fuels the world. 

I love Messi!!!!!!!!!!

How does one…

even begin to offer words of comfort to a friend… how to look at the blue sky, and the beautiful world when your friend is in pain knowing there isn’t much time left… how to eat all the things the friend and you enjoyed - sharing recipes and tastes… how to deal with the end of life with dignity and courage…???

A must-read….Gianni Infantino….

is clearly Man of the hour.

Each word is a punch…

https://www.telegraphindia.com/amp/sports/football/fifa-boss-gianni-infantino-fights-for-qatar-on-eve-of-cup/cid/1899121

3 mistakes…

we commonly make:

1. Mistake information for knowledge

2. Mistake connections for relationships 

3. Mistake convenience for happiness

1. Mistake information for knowledge - Knowledge involves listening, and knowledge involves the interpretation of information. Our brain is at work processing the information it receives in order to choose and sift so that we can discard the information we do not want and store the information which is meaningful for us.

2. Mistake connections for relationships - A connection is something superficial. It can be made with a click of the mouse on Facebook or Twitter or any of the social network platforms. A connection has no rules, no commitment, no expectation. A connection can be ‘unfollowed’ at any time. A relationship needs commitment, needs time, needs sharing, must be reciprocal, and is multilayered. Since it is an entwining of hearts and minds, breaking a relationship is not easy and involves a great deal of pain and suffering. 

3. Mistake convenience for happiness. Conveniences are bought or arranged to make life comfortable. Soon, we see we need more conveniences, and more perfect conveniences to make life easier and better. The pleasure that conveniences give us is transitory and does not give us either a sense of fulfilment or completeness. There is always something lacking. Happiness, on the other hand is the change that happens to our internal landscape. Our brain, heart, senses are all at work interpreting what we see, hear, and experience. Internally we are learning, absorbing, and making choices in keeping with what we believe will bring us peace and happiness…a feeling of quietness and contentment. Further, life teaches us from a very young age that there is no such thing as perfection. We are a part of the universe, and the universe is ever-changing, ever-evolving, and ever-growing.

Two powerful movies…

Soni and Meel Pathar (Milestone).

Both are beautifully crafted films, directed by Ivan Ayr. Like all sensitive films, these have to be seen at least twice to be understood and fully appreciated. I just loved them. Though they are in a Punjabi-Hindi mix, they are dubbed in English. What I really liked about the films is Ayr’s portrayal of the characters. Just beautiful. Very realistic, but there is nothing demeaning or degrading about the way he has shown the characters. They don’t seem to be acting…it’s as if the actors are really living their roles. The characters come alive and one feels one is right there with them. And I loved this. Lots to learn…