especially from someone who you believe is close to you, and who has thus far professed to understand you, is almost killing. Without our wanting to, or trying to, often these words keep going round and round in our minds pulling us down and further down into terrible depths. Good memories get juxtaposed with this thoughtless remark, and suddenly other such remarks made in the past - maybe the distant past - also surface, adding to the hurt.
Having been through such a process, I read whatever I could find that would help me understand this pain, and worked on ways of getting around it.
Am sharing what I found - it will not work immediately all the time, but it puts you on that path, and sooner or later you will be able to get it out of your system....sometimes, though, it does work right away.....
First of all, think.....We have allowed those words and feelings and thoughts to creep in and take over the space in our mind. Hence, our feeling of hurt is something that we create.
Second, when these hurt feelings come in with all their attending distress, we start defending ourselves, or castigating ourselves, and end up in a state of total despair, further clouding our mind, and allowing these feelings to sink into our hearts, till we almost feel incapacitated. The person, though, who started off this chain, has in all probability forgotten about it, or does not care what effect those words may have had, or is hitting out because of his/her own personal hurt.
So, then what do we do to break this whole pattern. Tell ourselves that this is just an illusion. Okay, they have come into our mind, but we have the power to let them go - to release them, and not hang on to them, or allow them to stay even for teeny bit of time in our mind. And, very importantly, this will also remove that person from our mind, thus preventing us from reacting. Reacting to a hurt by retaliation or blame just adds to the whole painful experience. Think about it - we will analyze and cry and go back over and over the whole sorry episode, but at the end, we have to fix ourselves. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR US - not even the dearest friend can fix us - they can be there for us, but the fixing is something we have to do ourselves. AND, what is more important? The hurtful words and the insensitivity or the peace of our mind? Who is more important? The person who caused this, or us?
First things first - DO NOT ACT. DO NOT SAY A SINGLE WORD. DO NOT RESPOND IN ANY WAY.
Then, walk away - walk away from the pain AND from the person who caused it.
Finally, use all of your time to care for yourself, and restore peace and tranquility in your mind.