"When people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them. You are the only custodian of your own integrity, and the assumptions made by those that misunderstand who you are and what you stand for reveal a great deal about them and absolutely nothing about you."
~ Anne Lamott
How many times we've heard ourselves trying, sometimes desperately, to correct someone else's opinion of us...how many times have we tried to tell them that what we said means this, and not what the other person has assumed; cried over misunderstandings that got created just because the other person refused to listen to what we were trying to say instead of just hearing our voice and the words; tried to tell the person who is busy trashing us that what we did/said was what we believed in; desperately tried to correct an impression that someone whom we would like to talk to, has formed of us from hearsay, or tried to tell someone who is talking to us in this superior, self-righteous, moralistic manner, that we were responding to the circumstances that we found ourselves in, never mind the reason (for i do believe that trying to make someone understand our reasons is like paddling in the same place)...
There are so many times when we have put all our effort and then some more, into trying to correct someone's opinion of us...so much time and energy (and sometimes even desperation) into trying to show others what we are....
The truth is - Noone, not any one, other than a loving child, can really understand who you are or what you are saying, or what you are doing...and if we think that someone is caring.....think again - for noone, other than your loving child, really cares, or has the time to care or has the wish to take the time to care. How much time we waste in trying to find ways and means of being accepted, how many times we drown out our inner voice, and our inner needs in trying to please others....and all the while in reality, noone cares....
We little realize that we who are trying so desperately to show who we are, if we are not careful, we will end up losing ourselves - our real selves - our real, beautiful selves.
The alternative is so simple and stares us in the face: bask in the love of your child or of those who genuinely care and love you as you are.
What we need to accept wholeheartedly and believe - 'the assumptions made by those that misunderstand who you are and what you stand for reveal a great deal about them and absolutely nothing about you.'