It's a perfect life versus a sweet messy beautiful screwed up human life.
Perfectionism will keep you scared and restless, and if you don't wake up and fight back, it is sure to destroy you.
So,
Even if it is just for today...
Sing
Dance
Loiter around your garden
Pick up rocks
Let the mess in the corner remain for another day
Talk to your plants
Write what you feel, what you have in your heart - you don't have to get published
Make a mistake - no, make lots of mistakes
Do one wild, crazy thing like wearing shorts even if your legs aren't what they were when you were 16
And, most importantly, DO NOT BELIEVE IT WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE THE CUSTODIAN OF YOUR INTEGRITY
P.S. I know it's a tussle - a constant tussle - for those of us who are conditioned to believe all kinds of things which we know in our hearts is not what we want our lives, or indeed ourselves to be. So, the first thing is to want to win the tussle badly - want it so badly that your whole being cries out for it and your heart bleeds and your nerves scream and whatever else happens, happens - and you are willing to take all this on, because.....................you want to win that tussle...