Something I came across...

and which set me thinking....


Family life will never be decent, much less ennobling, until this central horror of the dependence of women on men is done away with

...and the phrase that really hit me was 'central horror of the dependence of women on men'....for it is just that....it is a horror.... and we women are so often conned into or programmed into or forced into or bamboozled into believing that it is only men who can help us live...if live at all...We are made to believe that we are inferior - brain-wise, strength-of-mind-wise, ability-to-think-wise, ability-to-look-after-ourselves-wise, ability-to-earn-our-living-wise, and every-other-wise. Or even if not inferior, women are taught men must be given the first chances, or well, anyway, we come second....

This phrase strikes down all these myths, for myths and figments of imagination these most definitely are...

And the second phrase that caught me was 'Family life will never be decent, much less ennobling...until.....' Isn't family important to all of us....and don't we, right from childhood, when asked to draw a home, make a home with Mom, Dad, and kids holding hands, standing in front of it? But the very decency of family life depends on, in fact is contingent on the independence of the women in the family...

Now that is something to think about.......and work towards if we haven't started on it already....

Cheers!

Beware...

that the gentle mantle of solitude does not turn into the dark shroud of loneliness...

For it is still a beautiful world...

Why is it that when...

something good and happy happens to someone, a hundred viewpoints pop up questioning their happiness? Statistics are put forth about the sorrow and suffering in the world, debates are held on happiness versus deprivation, arguments fly about randomly about happiness in a world full or sorrow and suffering, and on and on and on...

Actually, very few people can be happy with and in anyone else's happiness...as if to be happy is a sin...it's wrong...pondering over the horrible state of the world is the only thing to spend time on...thinking about the suffering millions all the time is the virtuous thing to do...tearing happy people apart and making it seem as if there is no justification for their very existence is the right thing to do....but just to be happy with and in someone else's happiness?.....never....

What has brought this line of thinking on is the birth of the royal baby. That little baby, like all other babies (forget the countries where babies especially girl children are not welcome and where their birth is greeted with unhappiness and dread), has brought so much happiness to his parents and their families.... He doesn't know he's royalty...he doesn't know the condition of the world....he is just a little baby with his own little special place in the sun. Surely one can, no matter how sad or deprived one is, allow the parents their happiness...try and be happy for them, and with them?

 A baby is a gift that Life gives those who are his/her parents. A baby is just that - a teeny weeny bundle of joy, whether royalty or born in the lowliest of slums, normal or with a problem, naturally born or adopted....

Being happy in another's happiness doesn't come easy because it means going out of yourself and becoming for that moment a part of someone else's life....but if you can do that, then for that one brief moment you forget your own condition, indeed derive strength from that happiness to go on....it's like seeing a shooting star.....the happiness lingers brightening things....

This is MY day...

Today...

I am going to be_______________

I am going to do_____________________

I am going to think______________________

For, every day is a brand new day - it is not a left-over or a carry-over of yesterday...

And if I don't or can't fulfil what 'Today' wants, then I'll cancel it when I do a review/recap at the end of the day, and either push it to the next day, or cancel it altogether...with no hard feelings.

And I am going to keep a journal of this every day.................

Today...

Write down one thing you like about yourself.

And then do this every single day...

(Write in with how you feel)

Rip apart...

break down

force open

all the doors and windows of your mind.

Make space inside of you......lots and lots of space....bulldoze any barrier that pops up or that you may have left still standing...chip away at any structure that offers resistance, till it falls...demolish anything that comes in the way of your creating a huge-huge-huge space...

And see the miracle...

Wise words from the Talmud...

"We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are."

Use this as a barometer to check what's going on inside...

Refer the July 16 edition of The Telegraph (Kolkata)...

I think we women have really had enough...

The second phase of panchayat polls is on in Bengal. As Uttam Dutta reports: The following images capture the rage and the fear that marked the polling day in some blocks. This lady's husband, a polling agent of the CPI candidate, went missing from the booth.

She ran to the police near the booth for help. When all pleading and begging to know his whereabouts failed, this braveheart decided enough was enough. Not to be deterred 'Sudipta returned home and informed her neighbours that her husband was missing. Soon, nearly 20 women from Salepur ran to the polling centre, a school 1km from the village. The group burst into the school and Sudipta confronted the police guards.'

The police, by which time, had called for reinforcements, and central police forces and policewomen arrived on the scene. As the report states, at one point, 'a central police jawan’s baton was seen locked with the bonti (knife or hasiya).'

Though the women were chased away....

Sudipta's husband was freed.

(He'd been beaten up of course, but thanks to his wife and the other women, he was released._

One of the...

fast-fading genuine category of Indians...

My heart bled when I saw this picture in today's paper, The Hindu. In fact every time I look at it, I get this strange feeling - of warmth for a man who can cry because something that has been his life, not only livelihood, is being shut down, of great respect for a man who has carried on steadfastly no matter the seismic changes our country is forever going through, of infinite regard for a man who though his heart is breaking, is stepping aside to make way for the modern digital world which he probably cannot even grasp, of wonder for a man who took great pride in the system of the telegram, of admiration for a man who would have not only sent people's telegrams, but would also have made a human to human contact with the person sending it, or receiving it, and of high esteem for a simple man who is a storehouse of knowledge and information about our land--a historian actually...but who quietly and steadfastly put country before self and worked with his heart, his true reward being the work itself.

He's possibly wondering if all his years were for nought?

Sending a telegram was an event....as was receiving it...but the people who worked at a telegraph office were always conscious of the effect a telegram could have and so were a special kind of people, is what I've always believed...

The thing with change is that while it is inevitable, sometimes, it rides rough-shod over the gentle old in its race to be part of the oftentimes-brash new; it doesn't show enough regard for the traditions it is replacing, it shows no sensitivity to people who have to make the transition...

Think on this...

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite charm

 

What would we like to pass on to our children? A good image of ourselves, so they see us as being better than we really are? What’s the point? Or material goods? That would be handing them a heap of problems. Our presence? Whether we like it or not, they will be separated from us when we die. But we could leave them an inspiration, a vision that is meaningful and that can give them confidence in every moment of their lives.

(Now here's the rider - Of course, to be able to do that, we need to get confidence ourselves, to develop an inner certainty).

JIGME KHYENTSE RINPOCHE

You don't always have to...

present an argument for something or against something. You don't even have to put forward another point of view every time you engage in a conversation. You don't have to play the devil's advocate always...

Instead...

Always listen to what the other person has to say right through to the end

Maybe give a hug

But...

Always put the relationship first, put the other person's self-esteem first, and always maintain the peace.....even if it means being silent when you know you are right, or have a better suggestion...

Chew over this...

According to my Kabbalah meditation, what matters is 'how much negativity we have managed to overcome.'

I think this is again related to what I wrote on Choices (Therefore...)...we cannot always predict that our choices are the right ones, because as the coordinates--people who our choices will touch, and the circumstances under which we are making the choice--change, our choices too will need course correction, renewal, maybe even a total overhaul...Therefore, it is quite possible that while some choices bring happiness and positiveness, some may bring negativity.......then what gives weight to our choice is how much negativity we can overcome to turn our choice to our advantage... .The meditation goes on to say, 'Only in darkness can we grow to be like the Light. Indeed, those of us who have had to stand against adversity to be who we are have became stronger because of it.'

Therefore...

Choose life...

Our choices are made in the circumstances we find ourselves in - and they are the best in those circumstances.....viewed a few years down the line, they may not seem so, but then you again have the choice of either bemoaning that or making new choices.

Choices can never be separated from all the parties, the condition in which the choice is being made, touches....sure, you can say to hell with everyone, this is my life...but then you should also be ready to bear the consequences of that choice.

Consequences are inbuilt into every choice we make....even the tiniest and seemingly innocent choice has its consequences.....

And so the final question is are you willing to take responsibility for your life...for life is all about choices.....

You can never, ever condemn anyone for the choices they make unless you are prepared to walk in their moccasins...and live their lives.

What you can do, is support and love all those you know who have had to make difficult life-changing choices...