Randomly thinking...

Of late have been thinking of negative stress and relaxation - have come to the conclusion that the duties, work, problems and challenges of the day cause positive stress, because it keeps our mind and body in peak state...however, if these generate negative feelings and thoughts, we get negatively stressed and develop all the symptoms of negative stress. If, though, the feelings generated are positive, we feel relaxed even though we might have gone through the most tumultuous day - case in point - Pierce Brosnan as 007!

On the lane beside our home...

This picture so reminds me of the 'nawabs' who've, now that the weather is turning, have set up their chattais on the shady lane beside our home. Their game is cards.

The chess players in the picture are from Satyajit Ray's 'Shatranj ke khilari' - a film set in 19th century Lucknow. It captures the spirit of the times - when the British were trying to annex the State of Awadh. Nawab Wajid Ali Shah was the ruler. An artist and poet, he was no match for the wicked, wily Brits. While the drama of annexation was going on, two rich noblemen, Mirza Sajjad Ali and Mir Roshan Ali, who were inseparable friends were deep in the game of chess (shatranj). So intense was their  obsession with the game, they neglected all their duties to home and state. Even as the soldiers of the East India Company marched into Lucknow, these friends went off to a village nearby so that they would not be disturbed!

The 'nawabs' on our lane start their game of cards in the morning and carry on till late in the night. They sit in the shade of the trees, and when the sun moves around the trees, they merely get up and rearrange themselves in another spot. Since it gets dark by about 5.30 these days, their night games are under the lamp posts - surreally beautiful! People who pass by, whether residents of the complex at the end of the lane or hawkers, are drawn to these bindaas groups. Some stay on and get immersed in the game, some give advice, some sit or stand around quietly and some discuss the game among themselves. The card players carry on - unmindful to all, and completely oblivious to the fact that there may be demands on them - demand of work, demand of family... When they take their breaks, they call for tea from the chaikada at the end of the lane, light up, relish each sip of their tea,  and talk quietly to each other - they may, like true citizens discuss the doings of the politicians and the latest news of local and world affairs...a picture of nawabi decadence!! (only, while the chess-playing nawabs of Lucknow were rich, these need to work to keep not only their body and soul together, but also the bodies and souls of their families together...). Nevertheless, for the day, they are nawabs, and there is no tax on dreaming!!!

eat pray love

I really loved the book - read it twice right through, and keep it within easy reach so I can refer to it whenever I feel the need to.

Thing is we are all on our own individual quests - just have to recognize which one we are on - importantly to know that we are on this quest, that this quest is all about each one, and that it is important to us. Even more importantly, this quest is not to be hidden, not to be shied away from, and certainly not to be traded for something else just because it does not attract someone else, even maybe someone close to you... It is our singular road and we need to walk it - it helps hugely to know that someone out there is also on a quest; that the signposts are relevant to our experience too; that the beacons are there for us - as a warning, signal or celebration; that the feelings, thoughts and questions are what we are also feeling, thinking and asking; that we are not alone; that we can share and participate in another searcher's life, and draw strength, comfort and courage from her...

While I thought that the characters in the movie were all true to type, I felt the script did not quite bring out Liz's spiritual torment, the conflict within her - her independence, versus her need for the security of knowing that she was loved,and that there was someone to take care of her, or the particularly individual way in which she was trying to find herself...

Sparkys

Sparkys

           Diner

Never Trust a Skinny Chef

American – A taste of our HOMELAND!

Italian – The way MAMMA taught us to do it!

Mexican – Make today a FIESTA!

Hawaiian – Da kind plate lunch!

Cajun – Caribbean (the French immigrants to Louisiana invented it!)

Another must-go-to in Madras - it's amazing how the happy chef-cum-owner has created a tiny America in Madras! He has car registration plates from all over the US, saddles - ranch style, and even figures in a Louisiana Jazz band - trumpet-piano-drums-vocalist!! out of this world!!! since this is the Halloween season, there were pumpkins placed around the counters...the food and service were excellent with the not-skinny chef going from table to table, chatting and making everyone feel welcome...since it's a family venture, happy informality is what defines the atmosphere.

My fave watering-hole...

                                          

           10

DOWNING

   STREET 

This is one place we love to go to. Every time we are in Madras, one evening at 10D simply has to be squeezed in.

A lot of wood, a huge fireplace (decorative) with a mirror on top, soothing lighting, good temperature control, comfy sofas you can sink into, good food and booze...

Pondicherry

Alliance Française

A street

Horsehoe doorway

The staircase to our room

A typical doorway

A cobbled street

I find Pondicherry very exotic - The French-French, the Pondicherry-born-Tamil-French, and the Tamils all live so happily together, it's amazing... If you spend time on the Promenade, or wander around the streets (Rues), the atmosphere completely captivates you.

Auroville is again another world that one can access from Pondicherry - so different, and yet something links it with the rest of Pondicherry and India.

If you happen to be near one of the French schools, and close your eyes, you will hear children and their teachers happily chattering away in French...

The buildings in the French Quarter are still very well-preserved. Some have been successfully restored to look the way they looked when the French occupied this territory. We stayed in a heritage hotel - absolutely charming place. The staircase with a room on every landing had been carved out brilliantly...

It was only in 1954 that Pondicherry became a part of the Indian Union. Strange isn't it? The police still wear kepis, a lot of the signboards are in French and Tamil - in fact the official languages are Tamil and French. I find this a rather difficult phenomenon to absorb - having a still-very-French enclave. (The British influence in India we take for granted.) And, there is NO Hindi at all!!! (which is very refreshing to a non-Hindi Indian)

Am sharing some pix here, and I hope they bring out the quaintness of this lovely, exotic place...

The ordinary Indian...

 The Ayodhya issue is over - peacefully

The Commonwealth Games are over - peacefully

We are entirely indebted to the ordinary Indian, the aam aadmi, for making these two events pass off without any problem.

(Whatever problems there were, were the creation of the organizers).

Think about it - that the Ayodhya issue went off as it did was largely due to the fact that the younger generation specifically, and the ordinary people generally, have neither the time nor the inclination to let a bunch or religious fanatics backed by unscrupulous politicians ruin their lives. The general public wants to be left alone to get on with their lives. The people of Ayodhya want to be left in peace...

The Games, thanks to the efforts of the underpaid, overworked, not-looked-after laborers, the young, cheerfully hard-working young volunteers, the ever-ready, every-helpful armed forces, the much beleaguered police personnel, got into some kind of shape and got going. In such a large country, with so many fractious elements, with porous borders, we kept the terrorists out...It was the ordinary people who got the Games village livable, and looked after everyone...

The athletes who have risen to where they are entirely on their own using their own meagre resources, with no government support, did us proud. For much of the entertainment during the opening and closing ceremonies, it was the armed forces band, the school children, and the thousands of ordinary people doing folk dances, who put their shoulder to the effort of showcasing the many faces of the country . (And I am not talking about the false pitch of the singers singing re-hashed, re-mixed numbers, the mad dj-ing, Shaan's mournful dirge,the half naked lady and man doing what they themselves did not quite know in the middle of the laser show, or the horribly put together martial arts show.)

It was clearly the ordinary person who did not let the country down in spite of the Kalmadis, the Bhanots and the whoever-elses... 

Eventually it is the ordinary person that we in India always fall back on to restore our national pride...

Randomly rambling...

Modernity sits well only on those who are firmly rooted...rooted to their culture, to their soil, to their deepest and innermost beliefs...

Kanjoosi with life...

My daughter asked me this question: Ma are you doing kanjoosi with life? 

I asked her what that meant - this was her explanation which I want to share with all those who visit my blog, especially women. Why women? 'cos we are the ones who do the most kanjoosi with life.

For those who do not know Hindi - kanjoosi means miserly...thus kanjoosi with life means someone who is stingy with life; a Scrooge about life; a cheapskate with life... 

My daughter very forthrightly went on: You are way, way past 50, and have only what, about 20 or 30 years left? well, at least now can you think of not doing kanjoosi with life? At least now can you do the things you want to do, and be the person you really are?? 

Whoa! that really, really got to me - hard...

A powerful thought and one that made me take a good look at myself and where I was and where I was going.

So what exactly does this mean? it means that I need to know if I'm doing all that I can where I am, and with all my talents and abilities; whether I am hiding, or translating all my dreams in to reality; whether I am making excuses, or taking all the options that life is giving me; whether I am maintaining my equanimity no matter what anyone says/does, and no matter what happens; whether I allow my belief of 'what happens is for the best' to let me let things be; whether I am letting life slip by, or whether I am making the most of every minute of every day. In fact is there any single, tiny area where I am shortchanging myself???

So, are you doing kanjoosi with life?

The Rouvanjit Rawla verdict...

And so the Principal, and three teachers were arrested...

Where this saga is going to end, who knows?? because there are no winners. There never can be any winners in a case like this - everyone has lost, and everyone will go on losing, till Mr. Rawla, the one who has been hurt the most decides to forgive. Only then will this dreadful chain of suffering and pain stop. Of course, they will never get Rouvanjit back, nor will these 4 teachers ever get their peace of mind back...worse, think of the families of these 4 teachers...it is difficult to even imagine what they are going through. The school, the other children, and their parents too, are I'm sure, feeling a sense of loss of face/prestige/peace of mind. Everyone has to live with their own particular loss.


Of course the school and the teachers will have to face up to the fact that the old order is crumbling and a new mind-set, new attitudes and new ways of thinking are required in the changing environment of education. Opting out is not the solution - embracing change is...

Parents, I hope, have learnt that the instant their child says 'I don't want to go to school', all their internal alarms should start jangling, and their antennae should work on overdrive. Never, ever, ever take this sentence from a child lightly.Children love going to school. So, if a child says he/she does not want to go to school, something is wrong - you can be sure of that - No matter how big or how small the issue, if you take it seriously, it can be dealt with. We sadly, more often than not, tend to ignore this sentence. We pat the child on the back, tut-tut, and give them a sweet or promise an outing/gift. Completely disregarding their feelings. More and more it is becoming clear that children process what is said to them in ways that an adult can hardly even imagine. It's better to give them the benefit of the doubt, follow up on this 'not wanting to go to school', and resolve it, whatever it is. Even if it is only a cry for attention, it is still a cry from a child who does not know how to express himself/herself better...