Mahatma Gandhi had this motto on his wall at Sevagram.
"When you are in the right,
You can afford to keep your temper;
When you are in the wrong,
You can't afford to lose it."
How very true. My husband and I were talking this morning about 'anger'. How much damage this emotion can cause not only to ourselves but to those around us. How alienating it is. The topic of anger came up when we were talking about one of the innumerable talk shows that are being aired on TV. As usual there was Pakistan bashing (this seems to have become some kind of a compulsion). One lady suggested that we should stop this...and see how best this awful problem could be solved. I fully agree with her. If we think of this statement in the light of what Mahatma Gandhi said, it makes complete sense - In a conflict, when we are in the right and have every right to express our indignation at being wronged, but we don't, it gives us that much of a moral edge. If we can have the kind of self restraint that will not allow us to gloat over the mistakes the other person has made, or even about ourselves that our judgement was right, we grow - mentally and emotionally. However, if when we are in the wrong, and we can neither acknowledge that or even accept it gracefully, then most often what happens is that we cover up our mistake or our wrongdoing by blaming and getting angry with the people around us and as many external circumstances as we can think of. This is what causes huge damage, and the negative vibes sent out destroy the psychological environment around us. This would cloud our judgement, and worse, not help at all in solving the problem. It might even aggravate the problem. If, however, we just keep quiet, and accept the mistake, it is forgiven, forgotten and there are no hard feelings in the long run. In fact, it would have created a feeling of respect in the wronged person. Apply this to our country. Today we have been wronged. We are right in feeling wronged. We should just work on solving this in a quiet and dignified manner. Instead, we are absolutely shouting this from every roof top and in every forum and generally making a huge noise. Pakistan too would do well to remember that all problems can be solved quietly and unemotionally. Being in the wrong, they are making it worse by their show of anger. This will not only alienate them even more, but also vitiate an already explosive environment. This wound is likely to take a long time to heal and we need to concentrate all our energies and our efforts to this end. Both countries have to stand together and work together. Maybe the news anchors and moderators of the million TV debates would take note of Gandhi. We tend to spout Gandhi as a fashion, but the man did speak sense......