I've always had this sneaking belief...

that it's very important to have a personal style statement.

It's a feeling, bubbling up from deep inside. A beautiful feeling. A feeling that I would pull out and look at from time to time, especially when that sense of being drawn into the pit of despair closed in on me. Because it was just a feeling, I had not articulated it - in fact, I was afraid to because of how people around me would react to my special feeling and consequently to me. Low/non-existent self-esteem? Probably. Probably, if I had articulated it, just so it didn't sound too way out, I'd have changed/modified its original form, and then felt miserable later...

But, it's always been there, lurking just below the surface. I just didn't have the courage, I realize now. A lot of time has gone by, but this feeling has remained - sometimes hidden, sometimes right on top, but always there...

By style I mean not only the choice of clothes, but also manners, behaviour....the whole way of life and living.

In this frame of mind, these words lifted me up:

"If you have courage in your personal life, then you undoubtedly have courage in your personal style. The two go hand in hand. So shine Bright."

~ Amanda Dolan, 32, New York, New York
Founder of SparkPretty.com


Courage in my personal life I do have (though it goes through dips occasionally) so then it's time now, I think to start on the personal style of living!!!!!!

A thought to be dwelt on...

and mulled and absorbed into our system, till it becomes a part of us.

Parker J. Palmer – founder of the Center for Courage & Renewal and a man of great insight into the elusive art of inner wholeness, says:

Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling the who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live – but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life.

A tragedy...

the root cause of which was ignorance.....great, dire, tragic ignorance of those who worked the plant.

Bhopal: A Prayer for Rain

A brilliantly made film, and a must-see one...

No rain - no crops - no pesticides needed - so, no sale - therefore, no renovation or repair, in fact, cost-cutting decisions were taken placing very little importance on safety.

Combine this with dire poverty, the Indian specialty of jugaad, corruption, an indifferent local government, callous politicians, delay, cynicism, the corporate mantra of maximizing profits at any cost, incomplete release of data, and you have situation ripe for explosion.

To my mind, the most compelling and damning charge is ignorance - the ignorance of the workers as to their actual work, safety precautions and their rights.

Agreed, Union Carbide did not apologize and their compensation was meager.

But, what did the Indian government do?

There are still families out there who are trying to come to terms with what happened and striving to get their lives going again...

It's just in the moment...

The word 'moment' is the important word here. Moment may signify a short time, or a longish time...just think of it as a moment.

So often we find ourselves in difficult, traumatic moments. Moments that we wish would pass but which tend to take their time about passing, leaving us deeper and deeper in the darkness.

I've been trying to find out about how to go about these moments.

The single thing needed, which we all have latent in us, and which now has to be called upon, is GRIT. One needs grit to get through moments/times that are disruptive, and that cause anxiety and despair.

So, now:

FIRST - WE HAVE TO ACCEPT WHAT IS HAPPENING. This is a very difficult thing to do, but it has to be done. Remember there is no shame in this. It's happening, whether we like it or not, and it is best that we accept it: I am in distress right now; I am deeply unhappy with what is happening; I am stressed out right now about_____;

SECOND -  These are in three important steps:
First important step - WE DO NOT RESIST IT OR TRY TO PUSH IT AWAY.

Second important step - WE DO NOT THINK: THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT SHOULD BE or THIS IS NOW HOW IT SHOULD BE or THIS IS NOT WHAT I BARGAINED FOR or THIS IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE or THIS IS NOT WHAT I IMAGINED IT WOULD BE, and other thoughts like these.

Third important step - based on the second one, WE TRY TO FIX IT or WE TRY TO FORCEFULLY TRY TO TURN THE COURSE OF EVENTS AS THEY UNFOLD or WE TRY TO THINK OF WAYS AND MEANS OF SOLVING THE ISSUE or WE TRY TO FIGURE OUT THE BEST WAY OUT or WE TRY AND JUST PUSH THE ISSUE OUT or WE TRY TO REASON AND RATIONALIZE OUR WAY OUT. Sometimes WE EVEN RETALIATE, HOPING THAT THE UNPLEASANTNESS WILL END.

Believe me, I have tried all these. None of them work.

The only thing that works is GRIT - THE GRIT TO STAND IT THROUGH ITS COURSE - FORCE YOURSELF TO LET THE DARKNESS/UNHAPPINESS/ANXIETY/STRUGGLE/DESPAIR-CAUSING EVENT/HAPPENING/SITUATION RUN ITS COURSE - RUN ITSELF OUT.
Say a prayer, a psalm, a mantra - anything but just stay put and stay quiet till that time is over. If you can breathe in and out consciously, then this also helps - breathe in deeply taking in as much air as you can and when breathing out, consciously release the tension that has built itself and is building itself up inside. By just hanging in there quietly or watching your breathing, you can create a space inside your heart. And in this space is the calm we need.

Believe me this is the only thing that works. It's working for me and I want to share it with you...

View your life...

as software - so you can keep updating/deleting/changing it to something better and better and better.

Use all the uplifting material you can get.

It's your life....it's precious...

An Irish ballad, circa 1840...

Paddle Your Own Canoe

I've traveled about a bit in my time,
And troubles I've seen a few.
And found it better in ev'ry clime
To paddle my own canoe;

My wants are small I care not at all.
If my debts are paid when due.
I drive away strife, in the ocean of life
While I paddle my own canoe.

If a hurricane rise in mid-day sky
And the sun is lost to view
Move steadily by, with a steadfast eye
And paddle your own canoe.

Fields of daisies that grew in bright green
And blooming so sweet for you
So never sit down, with a tear or a frown
But paddle your own canoe.



And adding to this...

Paddle along slowly. Let no one turn you from your rower's chant. There is no hurry, no rush, nor do you have to worry about any other canoe. Just paddle your own canoe.

For life to mean something...

we have to weave a happiness garland with the happy incidents that happen to us, no matter how few they are.

We also have to believe in something - maybe just one or two things - but we have to feel these deep in our being. These then become our own special beliefs, our guiding lights, and we live by them, making each day count...

(Anything that tries to stymie these efforts should be forcibly shown the door of our heart).