If you feel...

that life is going on, and

what you imagined,
        or wished for,
           or visualized,
              or thought about,
                 or read about,

has not happened

and a desperate feeling starts welling up from the pit of  your stomach, threatening to engulf you....

and you think

now there's not much time left, so when is all this going to happen?

why isn't it happening?

STOP

this is what was in your life script---so, sit back and try to figure out

what you're missing....

what's evading you...

what you are crowding out...

what virtue there is in it...

and

enjoy it.....

Options...

for someone who is housebound...

don't let your thoughts get into a downward spiral
eat something that you are not supposed to, but you love
look outside the window at the world passing by
make up stories, make-believe - remember as children how we entertained ourselves?
have a nice steaming bath in an incense-filled bathroom
make sure every corner of your home is lovely and beautiful and comfortable and cozy
put on loud dance music and dance
sing along with the music, loudly, all the songs you love
make something pretty
do needlecraft, or knit, or hook a rug
if you're so inclined, dish up something
sit back and sip a drink, never mind the time of day
tell yourself there are no shoulds, and do what you feel like--maybe like taking a nap in the middle of the morning
watch a film - and if you don't know what to watch, but feel like watching TV, then watch, what my DD calls, a fuddu movie, which is a movie which is totally improbable and just plain entertainment
play hooky
don't do the things you're 'supposed' to do; instead do something waaaaaaayyyyyy out
be irreverent

keep adding to this list

but absolutely, and positively, and certainly, stop expecting things of yourself....

decide what you are going to do to make the day a day to remember........

Sharing...

 a winter afternoon by the lake in Calcutta...

A housework rambling...

Life, hardly ever, goes according to the script you've imagined, or written, or wanted, or thought about. Often you stop yourself and ask, "Is this really me happening here?" Trouble is - it is. So then? accept the new script and learn it... . in the end you'll see that it was tailor-made for you!

Strange, new, delicious feeling...

I've been experiencing this feeling lately - on two occasions when we were out to lunch, I could actually stop myself from thinking about the chores pending at home, things I had to work on online, and generally what's-next thoughts... . I actually managed it! after the lunch, I realized I actually had had no thoughts in my head other than thoughts about the food and the company; as if there was nothing for me to do, other than just have lunch. How to explain the feeling of liberation.... it was a wonderful freeing kind of feeling.

Now, since that was such an enjoyable feeling, that is what i am mightily going to strive for while doing each of my tasks.

..................growing up at 60???!!!

Ring in the New Year...

All the years of my growing up, when I heard this, I believed that huge bells would start ringing in the sky and the New Year would appear like a bright white flash lighting up the sky and descend to the earth. It would fill the whole world, and when we woke up, we would see everything new and shiny and wonderful...

That never did happen physically - but I realized that one could wake up and feel all new and shiny and wonderful...

That too did not quite happen - and one woke feeling a kind of sadness, nostalgia, apprehension, and insecurity, with maybe a dash of new-shiny-wonderful...

Sometimes one would hear people philosophizing asking why only January 1st was New Year's Day. Why could not any day could be the beginning of a New Year. One could always have new beginnings...

Often it was just another day...

Today my mind turned to all those who:

Didn't have anything to look forward to
Weren't sure where their next meal was going to come from
Didn't know when the roof above their head would be ripped off
Were apprehensive about their jobs
Had mountains to climb just to survive
Knew that no one understood them and who were struggling with that
Knew that no one really cared about them
Felt that they didn't belong anywhere
Knew they did not have it in them to handle the difficult situations life would hand them
Knew they had a splintered home
Were at war with their neighbor, making living difficult and sorrowful
Could not get the bitterness out of their system
Just could not and did not want to face life
Were plain and simple afraid
Never knew a moment's peace and joy
Felt isolated and alone

Scared...

to step into the New Year?

I am...

I think I'll go with something I read today in my Kabbalah newsletter, since this is the biggest concern I face...

Am I going to be a victim, and let feelings of hurt, bitterness, regret, sorrow, dim my life, thereby making me act like a victim...

or

Am I going to be a victor, and let the spark in me take over, since that spark belongs to Him who made me and knows all about me, thereby making me act like a victor in all situations...

No one is or can be right all the time...good things don't happen all the time...

But, there is no need to crouch and crawl - there is only need to recognize all things, and walk tall and straight...