14 January 2010

Something to think about from Pico Iyer’s “The Open Road”…

In the world of today where strife and violence are the norm, people are searching for something and possibly someone they can pin their hopes and thoughts on; someone who will rescue them from the all-pervasive negativeness. There is so much movement and relocation in the world, mainly out of necessity, that people are searching for an identity; something to act as a compass and an anchor. Explosion of knowledge is not allowing for blind and accepting faith; questions are being asked about the relevance of ritualistic religion; hypocrisy is making people uncomfortable, and at the same time there is so much confusion about religion, spirituality.

Consider now the Dalai Lama’s teachings. How relevant and valid what the Dalai Lama says is. He stresses on spirituality and his definition of spirituality is the only thing that makes absolute sense. According to him:

Spirituality I take to be concerned with those qualities of the human spirit--such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, which bring happiness to both self and others.

Going on, the Dalai Lama in his wisdom tells people to create their world within themselves; build their temples within themselves; create their homes within themselves. This is the only place where their world, temples and homes will be indestructible, and from where no one can take it away. His Holiness teaches that freedom means freedom from fear; wealth means inner resources; power means self-sovereignty. If we can strive to achieve this, we should be able to live lives of great equanimity, and inner peace and calm strength.

Another powerful thought is that we need to believe in and lay emphasis on the inner teachings of all cultures and not on the outer trappings. Instead of teaching our children to preserve the outer forms of culture, we need to teach them to be compassionate, thoughtful, serving, tolerant, just, and kind people; we need to be aware of and responsible for our environment. We need to believe in and teach our children to believe in the theory and practice of cause and effect. Instead of looking at the superficialities of nations, we need to speak to the heart of all men, because all men are striving for the same human goals. The only principles we need to live by are selflessness, and compassion and the only thing we need to practice, is humanity. We are all different, and need to celebrate these differences of colour, and creed, but in the essence of spirituality, there is no difference. There we are all the same. We have the same shared human hopes and human aspirations. As Pico Iyer so succinctly puts it, ‘the nature of globalism, as of anything, is to be a reflection of human longing, in all its many forms.’ We go on and on about globalism and global villages etc not having stopped to think what the term really means. This is it – it is a human longing to be interconnected. We share our knowledge, and we share our thoughts; we can access the whole world from our keyboard and because of this, we are all in one way or another interdependent, and therefore responsible for the human-ness of each other.

(Pico Iyer’s style is so fluid and simple, it brings the Dalai Lama to us, ordinary beings, as never before).

05 January 2010

As the years go by...

Yesterday, I was talking to a dear friend of mine. Strangely, both our lives have gone through some similar sort of experiences. Recently, we both have had sadly unfortunate incidents happen in our families, and one statement she made was something to the effect that as we grow older, we not only have to deal with old age in our own lives and our own families, but have to deal with it and the many sad fall-outs in our extended families as well. It is so true, and, worse, we seem so dreadfully unprepared and ill-equipped to handle this. Every stage of our lives is challenging, but somehow, as we grow older, the frailty of our bodies seems to seep into our minds. I had read somewhere long ago, that our whole lives have to be a preparation for when we grow old, and in the light of today, it almost rings true! I guess, this is another life skill that we all have to learn, because old age is when we need all our mental, physical and emotional strength. I've also been deeply influenced by thinkers who say that old age is the best stage of life. It is the culmination of years of study and hard work, and should now be a life of reflection and relaxation. It should also be a time when instead of losing our grip over life, we should grasp it more firmly, do as much as health and situation dictate, continue learning, be engaging, and take an interest in all that happens around us. Having gone through all of life's myriad experiences, we are in a position when we can actually laugh at the vagaries of life, and look at the world around us with compassion and kindness. Truly, nothing is perfect, nothing is permanent, and nothing is finished--we and everything and everyone around us is a work-in-progress...

What we do have to guard against, and fiercely so, is,
---to shove our wisdom down the throats of the young - let them make their mistakes. We can, if they ask us, share our experiences, at best. But, we must never tell them what to do. We need to be their safety net or better still their trampoline...
---being judgmental, thinking that we have the benefit of our years, and our experiences...
---pontificating. We must never think that anyone is interested in our opinions and thoughts...
---being a bore...

What we need to do is,
---to wear purple with a red hat even if it doesn't suit us, but only because we love the combination...
---put a flower in a wine glass, wear satin sandals, light an incense stick, set out some candles, pour a fav drink, curl up on a 'fatty'sofa and watch Mama Mia when the going gets rough, and the waves of sadness, and past thoughts threaten to engulf...
---dance...
---walk in the rain...
---and forget the sobriety and rigidity of youth...

20 December 2009

Chhoto

We lost Chhoto a week back. How can I describe this gentle giant? To the conventional world, he was a very unconventional person, didn't fit into any shoulds. In our family, and to each one of us, Chhoto was very special. His was always pride of place, and for all his life, he was the life and soul of our family. Always, it was Chhoto first, no matter what. He always had a smile, and though he did not say anything, whenever he saw you, there would be a small light in his eyes to tell you that he knew you were around. If you extended your hand to shake hands with him, Chhoto would put his whole fist into your hand - that was the extent of his trust. What can I say about him? He loved Western Classical music, western pop and Rock 'n Roll, continental cuisine, goodies, cricket, and good English programs, and he hated, and would walk away from a room which had any other kind of music, or if there was anything that he did not like on the television. He would suffer Indian food quietly and sometimes not so quietly, unless it was special food! He would sit silently and serenely in a family gathering and let everyone's conversations swirl all around him. He needed to be looked after, but he remembered all the timings for his medicines, meals and bedtime. In case his nurse forgot one of these, he would go to the dining table, where he knew his medicines were kept, and he had his meals, or wash room, or bedroom and gently remind her and us that it was time...if you put a picture puzzle or blocks in front of him, he would put the right pieces in the right slots, or arrange the bricks the right way. And, then, and this was the best part, he would walk away as much as to say ' what do you think? I can't do it?'. If he was outside, and a plane flew overhead, he would turn his head and follow its path. If he wanted to go out, he would just unbolt or unlatch the door, and go out and take a stroll...happiness to be out in nature. If, for some reason, anyone was down, or angry, or tense, one just had to see Chhoto, and be with him, to feel right again, to feel responsible again for oneself, though his own pain or anger or tension he would have to sort out himself, because he couldn't express it. If you were lucky, you would be able to see him smile and sometimes laugh in his sleep. We knew the angels were playing with him! We, mainly Ma, could only surmise his pain or suffering. On the route of his usual walk, this gentle giant was loved by everyone. You couldn't help loving Chhoto - he just looked so sweet. As in life, so when he passed on, he was no trouble for anyone. He didn't leave behind any pieces that the family would have to pick up and put together, and he passed on on a weekend, disturbing no one's routine. He hasn't even left behind a vacuum, because he is there, very alive in all our hearts. All he has left behind is his sweet smile, and his gentle presence.

?

Why is it so difficult just to get a place in the sun? why do we have to scramble so hard to get that place? why after we finally get it, do we have to strive even harder to keep that tiny, little place to ourselves?

25 November 2009

A voice from the past...

When someone from the past suddenly pops up into your horizon, it opens up such a big box of memories...and you realize that even if that person was not connected directly with those memories, the indirect bonds link up to make a picture. How does one deal with this? you are instantly transported to that time gone by--you become that little girl all over again, and with this come the childlike feelings and thoughts--and then you realize that 30, 40 years have gone by and that little girl has become an old lady-there are other bonds - strong bonds that define her life--how do the older links mesh in? how do the old bonds relate with the newer ones? But life changes all of us...and life teaches us to be wary and careful, and that the old not being able to cope with the new might hurt badly...friends at every stage of life have claims, one has to see if those claims harmonize with the now and here.....because it is the here and now that define your life....

02 November 2009

A thought

We have no idea why people behave the way they do. We are also not very keen on understanding why they behave as they do. We completely do not understand their deep-seated insecurities, fears, anxieties, loves, hates, bitternesses, joys, sorrows, beliefs.....we also completely fail to realize that all these have their own manifestations, and are completely different from person to person. We just see their behaviour, pass judgement and let it impact on our life, little realizing that by doing so we are being so unfair to them.

03 October 2009

Just want to know.....

Why we as a race

cannot be pleasant?
cannot observe basic courtesies?
cannot be civil?
need to show one up-manship?
cannot keep our yards clean?
are so loud?
cannot respect other people's privacy?
think that what we think is the only way to think?
trash out of hand other people's opinions?
are so opinionated?
do not simply feel the need to obey rules and regulations?
do not have any respect for the law?
feel proud when we circumvent the law?
believe that the only law is the parallel law that finds loopholes in the law of the land?
have no regard for anyone?

have this disconnect between mind and action?

if we have money, feel that we are above all moral, ethical and social norms?


What has gone wrong with us?