pausing is something that I am learning to do now. Every time I do this, I find myself - after a while - in a better and more peaceful space.
This is not an easy thing to do, I have learnt. To deliberately stop whatever it is that is causing a disturbance in the heart and mind is not easy. It has to be learnt. When I find myself in a difficult situation, or a tricky one, and I find my thinking going crazy, I force myself to just stop.....wait.....press my hands together.....sit quietly.....take deep breaths.....not look at the clock ticking away reminding me of a deadline.....totally quietening down, winding down till the heartbeat becomes slow again. After a while I see that what I was allowing to have so much importance so as to upset me, really was not that important.....it had taken on smaller, manageable, and do-able proportions. Most of all there was a quietness and peacefulness in my heart...and this helped to handle what I was doing without any pressure. It is the same thing in a conversation. When I feel it is getting out of hand, I force myself to stop.....maybe leave the room.....till whatever it is leaves me completely. Often I have found that what was distressing me was really not worth being distressed over..... or, the right words present themselves in my mind.....and I can deal with it without making it bigger than it was anyway...