in a situation we never imagined would happen to us, we get this pain in the pit of our stomach, or double over with a cramp, or feel we are shrivelling up inside. We don't want to feel this way. Buddhist teacher, author, nun and mother, Pema Chödrön says that 'if somehow you could stay present and touch the rawness of experience, you can really learn something.' This means that we need to connect with that physical sensation. This is terribly difficult and even seems unfair, but to connect is the only way out. Pema Chödrön understands this, so she says, that at this time we need to say to ourselves, 'Millions of people all over the world have this kind of discomfort, fear—I don't even have to call it anything—this feeling of not wanting things to be this way. This is my link with humanity.'
Impossible as it is to imagine that anyone else could be going through this same kind of painful and unfair experience, the fact is that we are not alone in our suffering. Connecting with the idea that this moment is a shared experience all over the world, is called compassionate abiding.
This connection with the humanity - knowing that we are not alone in our pain or sorrow or hardship is what eventually brings healing. The pain eases off and we are in a better position to see the situation clearly and figure out how to deal with it.