There is something bewitching...

about the 24th of December...

It's Christmas Eve for those who believe, which is magical, but generally, there is a special something in the air...something enchanting....

Relish and soak into every moment.

On December 10...

I had written about 'Solutions'

This is adding to that...paraphrasing from today's meditation of Hazrat Inayat Khan:

What he said was:
There are many paths, and each man considers his own the best and wisest. Let each one choose that which belongs to his own temperament.


My paraphrase is:

There are many solutions to a problem (and here I am talking about the problems we face, and the difficult situations that we often find ourselves in), and each man considers his own the best and wisest......our well-wishers, the friends who dearly love us, our parents, our siblings, all offer us their best solutions, solutions which have worked for them in similar or near-similar situations. However, let each one choose that which belongs to his own temperament.....simply because even if the context is the same, each person has their own  personality....their own chemistry....their own emotional/psychological/mental make-up, their own depth of intelligence, and their own understanding and interpretation of words and thoughts....and the tiniest thing could just make the difference for good or worse...

And so we have to tailor the solution/solutions/parts of solutions to what we would be temperamentally suited to do and comfortable with.....for it is only that that will work for us...      

Our sisters'...

Malala and this 23-year-old girl, victim of hideous rape and violence, battling for her life are proof that we women (of all nationalities, colors, creeds, and physical and geographic differences) have an indomitable spirit...if only we can let it surface, allow it to surface,...and we must - these girls have shown us that the least thing we have to be afraid of is fear.....one cannot have gone through more fearful situations than these girls....

It is unbelievable and miraculous how these two girls who were so brutally attacked head-on, as it were, have survived - it is their invincible soul and unconquerable spirit that have kept them alive.....both of them want to continue-in their own contexts-to speak up and fight up for women.

Each one of us women across continents and seas, even to the most remote places of the earth have to stand behind these girls......absolutely and completely.....

There is no punishment strong enough for those who tried to kill these girls.....but there is one thing we women can do....which is to not bend before any man who tries to take away or damage our self-respect, self-esteem, and self-worth. These girls have shown us that we need not, because we can survive the worst....and we will.

I wonder who will come...

tomorrow...

Rumi says:
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor...

It makes it so easy to handle all that comes into our lives if we keep these words in our minds....because one or other of these will visit us.

And he goes on to say:
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

And it is so true because the meanest of mean things, the saddest of sadnesses, and even the greatest happiness has something to teach us. The hurt, sadness, and happiness become bearable or understandable and acceptable when looked at this way...and I would say that for our own mental and emotional comfort this would be the only way to look at whatever comes our way - that this is a guest who has come to teach us something - the very word guest implies that it will go away - just as the sadness/meanness/hurt will go, the happiness too will go away. So, hang in there during the painful moments for they will pass and enjoy the happy moments for they too will pass.

My DD's Christmas tree...

always rings in the festive season for me...

Love came down at Christmas.....

This hit me between the eyes...

You must believe in yourself -- if you do not then no one else will

It was sent to me by a dear friend, and to my question on how do I start believing in myself, this is what I got....something to go by:

and this includes looking in and taking stock - very bravely - of what I can do, where my talents lie, my likes, dislikes, loves, hates...

And adding to this was what I got the other day in one of my mails:

I may be whatever------but I still believe I can do anything. I still believe I can do more....

You can...

get a grip on things...as in, you may be able to understand how to deal with something....maybe....maybe not.....but you can try to.....and maybe in the end you will succeed in getting a grip on things....the option being that if you do not get a grip on it, you can always leave it be and move on.

You can also try to get a grip on yourself, that is, make an effort to control your emotions - this comes with practice....and with a lot of effort, you may actually be able to control the way you behave....be 'cool', never mind that your insides are being eaten up....(that can be dealt with in privacy)

It's not the good that one has a problem with - it's the sad, the bad, the ugly side of life that is so difficult. And our trying to 'get a grip' only makes it more complicated on the one hand, and on the other, completely destroys us.....and no 'grip' happens....

I feel,..no....am beginning to believe, that you cannot get a grip on life. Life is too fluid and keeps changing....I've come to believe that the only thing we can do is to go along with it, and then, slowly, sometimes very slowly, it unfolds into something we can understand and deal with....

Totally faulty thinking...

is when we think that the dreams we have when we are small....when we are growing up...when we are older....and older....and older are what should happen in real life.....we have embellished them, we have dwelt in them, we have, in our mind, made them real, and..................well.......those are the only dreams we believe we have...

But,

What if those dreams don't materialize?

What if those dreams don't become real?

What if those dreams get shattered?

What if those dreams, in spite of our best efforts, just don't happen the way we dream them to happen?

Then,

We feel betrayed....we are broken.....

But then,

Who ever said that the dreams we dreamt are the only dreams?

There are so many other dreams......

And,

Just like, every so often, we have to make course corrections in our life, so too, we need to make dream-corrections, and dream new dreams, different dreams, bolder dreams, way-out dreams, dreams that we only dream we could dream, and dreams that we never thought we could dream, dreams that we never thought we had it in us to dream....

and then see life change..............

Solutions...

We hear and read that every problem has a solution. When we are in any kind of trouble, our well-wishers tell us of one way or other of how to solve the problem - it could be something they've thought on their feet, or it could be from their own experience.

However, one person's solution cannot and will not work for another, because the contexts are different, the personalities are different, and the energies within each context are different. Even the most successful solution to a similar kind of problem will never yield the same result when superimposed on the problem simply because the surrounding energies can never be the same...never...

Yes, we have to listen to all, read the lives of great people who have been through very trying conditions, learn from wise men......and then work out our own solution....

And mind you, only the persons who accept your own special brand of solution are your real friends and well-wishers, because they genuinely respect who you are and value and appreciate you for who you are.

I came across this...

 a few minutes ago...

"The moment we want to be something we are no longer free."
 - Jiddu Krishnamurti

How true - and this can mean anything at all, it came to me in a flash of insight - the moment we want to be Someone in our fields of expertise, or Somebody in our place of work, or our community, or the place where we live, or even to be Something special in some organization...we actually lose ourselves...we lose the truth of who we are.

Even wanting to be that simplest of things - a good housewife - is binding....it has to flow from within out or even the mildest and sweetest and simplest of housewives will sooner or later pull and strain at the reins she herself has unwittingly created around her...

Whatever we do or whatever we want to be has to happen naturally from within....it should not be in response to a situation, it has to flow from inside out...

And I think we will know the truth only if what we do, or are, or be, brings a feeling of peacefulness and serenity...the moment there is even a hint of strife, that's it.....we'll know we are going against ourselves.

And what is this freedom? I believe this is the freedom from fear......from the myriad avatars that fear takes....

Some uplifting sayings...

by Germaine Greer...

Having seen her and hear her talk, I know that these words are backed up by experience, by the depth of feeling that has come from what she has gone through....and so, are real...

One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night.

Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.

Security is when everything is settled, when nothing can happen to you; security is the denial of life.

It's not going to end...

this mad targeting of Malala by the Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan.

This time they targeted Kainat Ahmed, one of the two girls (the other one was Shazia) who was with Malala the day she was shot at. They planted a bomb behind Kainat's home; one woman lost her life and seven others were injured. Kainat and Shazia were injured that fateful day, and Kainat was probably only just recovering from her injuries...will she ever get over this trauma.....

These girls have already lost their child's faith in the world, should they lose their mind too, and that too to the warped, mad thinking of some misguided adults?

All Malala wanted to do was study....for that she is branded as a teenage rights activist, and her 'crime'? Backing secularism and Western values. Can anything be more absurd?

Young sweet girl-children...our hearts and thoughts and prayers are with you...