The greatest grip...

that anything can have on one is the grip of grief. Grief over anything -

Worst is that grief is paralyzing...

Fact is one cannot move on from any kind of grief - it becomes a part of you...

It's only in facing it, understanding it and dealing with it that you can accept it and move on...

An inspiration...

My inner muse who began blossoming in the seventies, is now an inspired woman on the threshold of continuing change. Debra Rapaport from the advancedstyle.blogspot.com


So, for all of us who are in our sixties - it's not too late!!

It is so important...

no, IMPERATIVE

to find your truth....

It's an extremely difficult and painful process, believe me - and it's not a one-day thing.......it's a painstaking process, because you have to do a kind of inventory on everything that you like, dislike, eta, drink, wear, read, study, work on, think about.....everything.....and that is why it can be piercingly brutal. But, it has to be done, so that those layers of dust on the soul can be cleared....

States of mind...

don't happen...

I have to make it happen...

Kind of a - 'Cracklin' rose' state of mind....

                    'Let it be' state of mind...

                      'New York' state of mind...
       
                        'Song sung blue' state of mind...

                          'Country and Western' state of mind...

                            'Long and winding road' state of mind...

You can choose......................your state of mind!

I have been chewing over...

two actions that caught my attention in the papers today...

One was the Pussy Riot trio in Russia being sentenced to two years for hooliganism, and the other was an analysis of the dreadful events taking place in India whereby people of the North East who live and work in Pune, Hyderabad, and Bangalore are fleeing for their lives and going back home.

In both cases it was a case of misuse of personal freedom - unfortunately, Pussy Riot chose the cathedral to express their strong sentiments, and in India, people used the social media to send seditious messages. But, while in one case the punishment was utterly disproportionate, in the other the government is cutting capers trying to find out who all are behind these disturbing messages without encroaching on or curbing freedom of speech.

Are we losing it?

We lead life thinking...

there's this great design for us, and we're in the process of getting ready for it. So, whatever we do is in preparation for this. The present is not real - this is not reality - the reality is yet to come. When we finish a task, we eagerly look out for the next thing...wait for the next thing to happen so we can tackle that quickly and again wait...We finish the day and think - tomorrow we'll see the grand design.....and so we're always in a state of anticipation, of waiting, of trying to peer into the future. 

But......we don't realize that each action and each day is a part of the design.....this IS the design of our lives.......It's like the tiles on this tabletop. 

By our actions, and the way we live each day we create the design of our lives - each action - one tile, a section is like each day - so many actions, so many tiles - all setting together creating lines, some of which are short, some curved, some curled into a ball, some get crooked, some straight; some tiles represent dark days, some light, some bright, some dull, some shaded; some have had to be cut small, some shaped, some square, some rectangular..... but all needed for the grand design. If you notice, there are bright lines that run through the dark days, and also through the dull-and-drab-everyday days. 

Thing is, we are the ones who create those bright lines through our days....no matter what happens, we can rearrange the tiles of those actions which create brightness........we create our own unique individual pattern.....

and so we create the design of our own lives.....

One sure pick-me-up...

for when you just don't feel like talking to anyone or pouring your troubles out - one of those jammed in times...

Watch a fun movie....I just did...Nacho Libre, a comedy-drama directed by Jared Hess and has Jack Black acting as Friar Ignacio. It's loosely based on a real-life Mexican Catholic priest Fray Tormenta, who, in fact, had a career as a masked luchador. Ignacio loved the orphans in the orphanage where he worked. He wanted to give them good food, and some fun. In secret Ignacio wished he could become a luchador. He also wished to become a 'somebody'. His dream was to get a bus for the orphanage so he could take the children to see places...The movie is about how he achieves his dreams.

I thought the innocence of the film utterly charming......certain to get the good humor going again....

Chew on this...

Happiness doesn't just happen...

We have to make it happen...

There's huge effort needed not only to manage the situation as it is, but also to make sense of all the conflicting thoughts and emotions that surge up...win over everything, and the sit back and savor the happiness.....and this happiness is something very quiet that permeates every cell of our being..........Happiness is clearly different from moments of instant pleasure. Happiness is more a feeling of contentment, a sense of well-being.........

Have you ever...

when listening to some special piece of music, or gazing out on a rainy day, or reading.....or doing the dishes, maybe.................suddenly felt your spirit lift.................. and..........soar..............and go dancing and swirling away into the cosmos?

It's a gorgeous feeling....a feeling of liberation and a kind of pure peaceful happiness.....and you're just floating away so free....and so beautiful...and so light...

And so, even when your feet are bound, and you are fettered by the circumstances in which life has placed you, you can allow your mind and heart and spirit to lift up and dance away.........far, far away.............

When we ask Life...

(read God, Supreme Power, Light) for something, we are put in situations that demand this of us...

If I ask to have beauty of spirit, or tolerance, or patience, or strength to bear something, you will see that you are put in situations that demand these of you - ugly situations, difficult people......the exact opposite of what it is that you have prayed for......it is in the dealing with these with the help of God/Supreme Power/Light, that we acquire this in us, and it becomes a part of us.

Life doesn't ever just hand us what we've asked for.......when we earn it with our tears and struggles, it becomes us...

The many-colored weaves...

of life...

                 
                                       of relationships...

of every day...

Two tiny words...

which can help resolve many bugging issues...

You're(can put in he's/she's/they're) entitled

Once you say this, you can very easily put it out of your mind......is what I'm learning....

Some nuggets...

from advancedstyle.blogspot.com -

Personal style is healing

....................................this would particularly be for those who are ambivalent about having/creating a style of their own...

Two things...

I learnt today...

1. While David Ogilvy said that you should 'surround yourself with partners who are better than you are,' in most organizations, the boss wants to surround himself with sycophants. This, clearly is a situation to be avoided because it tells you something about the boss - therefore the best would be to lie low and consolidate your position and move on.

2. When deciding whether an offer should be accepted, it is necessary - no, imperative - to see how the offer squares up with the demands it is making on you as a person in your own right. Compromises there will be in every situation, but you must never sell even a teeny part of your soul for it.....better to eat dry bread and water and have your soul, than have a meal with champagne with bits of your soul missing. In the first case you will always have enough of your soul to build anything you want, but in the latter case, you end up as a nothing...

Adding to my blog on forgiveness...

here's a reinforcement I got today from FinestQuotes:

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself. 

~ Harriet Nelson

Doesn't it add up? We have to ensure that our souls are free....for our own selves.

A deadly incentive...

from Ari Seth Cohen's ADVANCED STYLE

Everyone gets old........................................

                  but some get there in style.......

On forgiveness...

When someone hurts us or is rude to us, or makes us feel small, we react - sometimes very angrily. We may feel justified in our reaction, but what actually happens is that a part of our soul gets trapped into other person's soul. So actually we lose a part of ourselves. That is why it is important to forgive - set things right, resolve differences - even though we may be feeling hurt or demeaned or small or terribly upset...........................for that is the only way we can get the other person to release our soul.

Lesson here is that we have to try and handle potential as well as actual distress situations such that we don't end up losing even a teeny part of our soul.

To paraphrase Lewis B. Smedes: To forgive is to set a prisoner free - the prisoner being you...

Some of us...

learn to be defensive to protect our inner core. Through the years we make the shield we have created to encompass us, stronger and thicker...we push our real selves, and what we are all about deeper and deeper down... .Part of 'us' is stamped down by others, and part we push down for reasons of survival and to gain a measure of peace. But the thing is that we can only hide it, because what we are is never really going to go away (at all times, it is the positive in us that I'm talking about - the negative, that which causes sorrow and pain and makes our path rough, we have to remove).

The downside of this defense that we have made for ourselves is that the shell becomes harder and crustier and then we find that we cannot allow for any well-meaning kindness or friendship to pierce it. We are unwilling to peep out of our armor, and we are unwilling to expose the soft side of us - just in case... .We find it difficult to either let anyone in or come out ourselves... .Many of us are unable to discriminate between those who really love us and those who may be using us - result: keep the armor tightly closed, and pull up the moat allowing not even a fraction of ourselves to be exposed.

Somewhere, sometime, though, we are bound to burst -

There is always one person who is there just for us.....we need to allow this person in, who will then help us begin to clear our insides and let the Light in - or, we need to find some way of allowing the Light to come in....

We will find no real peace or serenity unless the Light fills us - then we will be protected from the inside and can do away with the external armor.

Never be...

swayed, or impressed, or bowled over, or carried away by the loud, brash, all-knowing, proud, show-off, bright spark, smooth-spoken, you-know-who-i-am-but-trying-hard-to-be-humble, obviously contrived, opinionated, pompous, seemingly fearless, bold, beautiful, outspoken, bragging kind of person.

Look instead for the shy, retiring, quiet, introverted, hanging-back, self-effacing, not-voicing-their-opinions-unless-asked, silent-about-their-talents kind of person.

The ultra-sophisticated is unobtrusive, restrained, uncritical, exceedingly simple, consistently respectful and well-mannered, quiet, and soft-spoken.