Some of us do not have completely happy pasts. We may have been the victims of wrong decisions taken by those, in our lives, who were older and wiser; or we may have been the victims of unfortunate and unhappy circumstances; or we may have been guided wrongly; or not guided at all. As a result, we fell back on our inexperienced and unformed minds. We took decisions, acted on them, and behaved in a manner that, in hindsight, was totally wrong and completely avoidable. We made huge mistakes. But, what is the use of grieving for those days? They're gone...
Some of us might have blemished pasts. Blemishes caused because we did not know better, and thought that how we were, was the right way to be, and that what we were doing, was the right way of doing things. Life has a way of setting people right, and putting them on the right track. But, it can be very painful. Fact is, though, that this does happen. And we have gone through such times. Once again, looking back becomes a source of painful regret. However, what can be done now?
And for some of us, the present is awful. The past was wonderful. Here again, it is completely unwise to cling to happy memories and re-re-and-re-live happy incidents of the past. We have to release these strings too, for the simple reason, we are in the NOW and have to have our wits about us to convert what we see and know to be unhappy now, into happiness.
The whole secret, to my mind, lies in being conscious of the present. To live fully in the NOW. Then it becomes easier to handle all that comes into our lives as happy challenges.
What is the point of harking back, anyway? of thinking back? We cannot change any 1 single thing. The trouble is, that when we look back at those times, with the wisdom gained over the years through blood and tears, we wish it hadn't been so. We could have done things in a better way. We would have handled issues differently. Today, we know, and we have proper solutions. But we did not know then, remember? So, first things first - we have to be kind to ourselves and forgive ourselves. Love ourselves unconditionally as we would our best friend. There is, often, the feeling of frustration that we cannot go back and re-write the past. It seems so very,very difficult to accept the past as something that has happened, and which is over. But, this is the only, the absolutely only way we can live fully in the present. It's happened, it's happened. We have to release the hold the past has over us: release the good, the bad and the ugly. Let it go. Release the strings. We are here in the NOW, and we must not add to our list of unhappy 'pasts' or create unhappy pasts, by spoiling the here and now that we are in.
Accepting the limitations that age puts on us is another great challenge. Here again there are some of us who feel young at heart, and strain against the limits placed by age. Of course, it is very, very important to feel young at heart, because ONLY then can we enjoy all that life throws up. We need to take an interest in all that is happening around us, and in the world at large. We also need to derive great pleasure in the small, special world around us - in all the little and big things that take place in our world. We HAVE to acquire interests, no matter how it looks to others. We are at a stage when it really doesn't matter what anybody thinks, or how they react. But, we also need to understand and appreciate the limits placed on us by age. Our mental-emotional-psychological age has to match our physical age. We have to grow and learn to be attractive at the age we are and not be a 90-going-on-16 phenomenon!
And there are some of us who, because we are getting on in years, or have got on in years, and may or may not be ailing, spread gloom and doom all around. We have nothing good to say about anything or anyone. It is just criticism, cynicism, carping and disapproval. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh this is one behavior that is to be avoided like the plague.
We have to just live in the present. Be grateful for every day and every moment. Remember, we are looking at everything from a vantage point!We must NEVER EVER EVER MORALIZE AND MAINTAIN THE MORAL HIGH GROUND. Just learn to let the young find their own way around. Only, give them the assurance that we are there, just in case they need us... and if they don't, we would, I'm sure, forever gain their appreciation for not having butted in, especially when not required. Hugh Prather says, '...now is all there is of my life.' If we think of our life in terms of the Nows that go into making our life, there will be time only for happy things and happy times, peaceful times, serene moments. We don't have to spend it in trying to right the wrongs of the world, or the wrongs done to us. We just have to spend our time learning to be more tolerant and compassionate and happy.
we only need to remember to laugh, laugh and laugh. Look and learn from the Dalai Lama. How often his eyes crinkle up, his face breaks into a smile, and out comes a compassionate, non-judgmental, all-accepting, all-embracing laugh.
That was a looooooonnnnnggggggggg ramble!!!