I do believe that a peaceful home, full of positive energies is the only antidote to the outside world. You can face anything, go through any hardship, bear all travails, overcome all hurt and pain, and meet any disaster if you have a tranquil home to come back to. Home can be a tiny little corner - it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do to make that space a haven of serenity.
29 April 2010
27 April 2010
23 April 2010
What my money plant taught me...
This morning, my money plant taught me a lesson. It is a young plant, and I fell in love with it as soon as the gardener brought it up. It has beautiful leaves, pale cream with light green streaks. It's a very young plant, and I kept it as near the door as I could, the better to protect it. I love my plants and care for them very lovingly and carefully. I water them every day and keep the leaves free from dust and see to it that nothing happens to them. With great happiness I saw one tiny leaf after another emerge from the stem. However, to my dismay, I saw that as soon as the leaves became a little big, they were falling off. Now there are only 2 leaves left, and then it struck me. The plant needed the harsh heat and hot winds to strengthen it. It needed the dry earth. This pampering was doing it no good. It needed to undergo Nature's toughening process...
Aren't we like this plant? We think we can grow in a protected, controlled place, cocooned from the outside world. We feel apprehensive about facing the world. We feel scared when the harsh winds of change blow, and wish we could hide somewhere. We curse and rail at our fate for having put us in trying situations. Paradox is that we need these to grow - we need the harshness and even cruelties of life to test our mettle and make our true worth come out. The gardener had told me not to water the plants every day - the roots have to go down deeper and deeper to suck out the water from the soil, only then would the roots become strong and spread out. Isn't this a lesson for us as well? The comforts of life will never allow us to stretch ourselves. It is only when we learn to do without that we learn what is really worthwhile, and what the true value of things are. If we allow ourselves to be surrounded by goodies, we will never know what we are capable of, we will never be able to explore the goodies that lie within us...
Truly, we just have to allow Nature to teach us... what better and more loving teacher than her.
Aren't we like this plant? We think we can grow in a protected, controlled place, cocooned from the outside world. We feel apprehensive about facing the world. We feel scared when the harsh winds of change blow, and wish we could hide somewhere. We curse and rail at our fate for having put us in trying situations. Paradox is that we need these to grow - we need the harshness and even cruelties of life to test our mettle and make our true worth come out. The gardener had told me not to water the plants every day - the roots have to go down deeper and deeper to suck out the water from the soil, only then would the roots become strong and spread out. Isn't this a lesson for us as well? The comforts of life will never allow us to stretch ourselves. It is only when we learn to do without that we learn what is really worthwhile, and what the true value of things are. If we allow ourselves to be surrounded by goodies, we will never know what we are capable of, we will never be able to explore the goodies that lie within us...
Truly, we just have to allow Nature to teach us... what better and more loving teacher than her.
19 April 2010
Randomly thinking about circumspection
With the newspapers and news channels focusing incessantly on Shashi Tharoor, accusations flying fast and furious at him from all quarters, and with only him defending himself, all kinds of thoughts came into my mind. For a while there it almost seemed as if he had turned the whole country on its head. Political analysts are being asked their opinions, wise old politicians are being asked what they think, journalists are putting forth their inferences, and all the while this one man has been trying to hold his head above troubled, churning waters. No one seems to be coming to his aid. Hard to believe that only a little while ago, he was the darling of the media and the younger generation of politicians. So what went wrong? I don't claim to know much about politics, but one thing seems to stand out. Tharoor seems to have made many people uncomfortable. Whether it is his UN background, or his lifestyle, or his language, he has not stepped on, but , in fact, has jammed everyone's toes in the Indian dust. And the establishment has hit back - hard. Our country is totally and thoroughly amoral and hypocritical. It is against this backdrop that this man - flamboyant, knowledgeable and with the gift of the gab, makes his entrance. A good debater, he has tried by his debating skills to carve out a place for himself in an arena where everyone talks in a language which is full of double meanings, and half-truths which change with the direction of the wind. There is a very wise saying that only those who have not sinned should cast the first stone. In our political scenario, is there anyone who is really clean? and if there are one or two people, they conveniently pull out the 'chuh-chuh-chuh-nodding the head both ways' attitude. I guess the thinking is, 'why on earth would I want to jeopardize my position?' or,'do I know you at all?' or what happens usually is to agree with all parties concerned, kind of a run with the hares and hunt with the hounds phenomenon. Honesty and up-front talking and outspokenness don't stand a chance here.
This is when this word 'circumspect' jumped into my mind. The answer, to my mind, lies in this word. People are ready to accept, people are ready to listen, and people are ready to change their thinking only and only and only if the person trying to effect all this is circumspect. Even if a person is right, legally, ethically or morally, no one will accept that person if he rides roughshod over other peoples' feelings and sentiments. Right or wrong our feelings and sentiments are ours and we all tend to be fiercely protective about them. We would be willing to change them provided we felt good about the person suggesting the change. What then does this important word mean. According to the dictionary, it means, among other meanings, to be cautious, discreet, prudent, clear-sighted and sagacious. In a country with so much diversity in every area of life, the only way to do things is to tread slowly, carefully and in a very, very low-keyed manner. No one in our country, by and large, would deny another a place of importance, unless he is threatened with real or imaginary threats. No matter what the position one has, one has to be conscious of the responsibilities it carries. Otherwise, be the happy junta. Tharoor had much to give the country and he would have been able to , and the people would have accepted him, but only within our system. Corrupt, awful, long-winded, whatever, but that is the system we have and that is the system we are all working in and that is the system in which changes are happening too. Any public position draws attention, no matter how low or high that public position is. And, yes, people will (mis) perceive, (mis) read and (mis) understand. But if our leaders are circumspect, then the 'mis's will be less, and the country will gain more, and we the happy, squabbling, fractious, tamasha-loving junta will be the beneficiaries!
This is when this word 'circumspect' jumped into my mind. The answer, to my mind, lies in this word. People are ready to accept, people are ready to listen, and people are ready to change their thinking only and only and only if the person trying to effect all this is circumspect. Even if a person is right, legally, ethically or morally, no one will accept that person if he rides roughshod over other peoples' feelings and sentiments. Right or wrong our feelings and sentiments are ours and we all tend to be fiercely protective about them. We would be willing to change them provided we felt good about the person suggesting the change. What then does this important word mean. According to the dictionary, it means, among other meanings, to be cautious, discreet, prudent, clear-sighted and sagacious. In a country with so much diversity in every area of life, the only way to do things is to tread slowly, carefully and in a very, very low-keyed manner. No one in our country, by and large, would deny another a place of importance, unless he is threatened with real or imaginary threats. No matter what the position one has, one has to be conscious of the responsibilities it carries. Otherwise, be the happy junta. Tharoor had much to give the country and he would have been able to , and the people would have accepted him, but only within our system. Corrupt, awful, long-winded, whatever, but that is the system we have and that is the system we are all working in and that is the system in which changes are happening too. Any public position draws attention, no matter how low or high that public position is. And, yes, people will (mis) perceive, (mis) read and (mis) understand. But if our leaders are circumspect, then the 'mis's will be less, and the country will gain more, and we the happy, squabbling, fractious, tamasha-loving junta will be the beneficiaries!
17 April 2010
Summer days...
Summer days bring so many memories to mind. There was always something very special about summer. For one thing it was holiday time - 2 whole delicious months of holidays. Summer times meant dinners out on the lawn. Light from the verandah streaming out giving the lawn a fairytale look. If we had watermelons for dinner, there would be watermelon lanterns on the table. The lawn was watered morning and evening, so it was nice and cool. Feet on wet grass, lovely cool feeling...The fragrance of summer flowers, especially the Raat ki Rani and jasmines, would fill the air. The 'girls' would pin a sprig, or string of these in the hair...exotic feeling...Crepe myrtle, mango and acacia trees cast their magical spell. Sometimes we'd pack dinner, and drive to the Ridge, where we'd spread mats under a spreading gul mohur and have dinner in the lovely summer breeze looking down at the lights twinkling below. After dinner, our beds would be laid out on the lawn, with mosquito nets, and we used to go to sleep looking at the stars and the moon. We'd try and identify the North Star,the Great Bear, and the Orion. We'd pretend we were part of the Milky Way...When day broke, so that we didn't have to wake up too early, our bedspreads would be draped on the mosquito nets to shield us from the morning sun. Up by 7, the whole long lazy day stretched before us. Sometimes, very early in the morning, we'd pack sandwiches and take our dogs and walk to the two small hills close by, called Bada Shimla and Chhota Shimla. We'd climb to the top, watch the sun rise, have our snack and run down the slope, and come home to a good breakfast. Of course we had to study till 10 every morning, then it was reading and practicing the piano till lunch. The dogs happy to have us at home would refuse to be tied up outside and would stay with us indoors. Of course we'd pretend that they were protecting us from pirates and robbers! Snooze after lunch, and then from 4 o'clock onwards, after tea, it was just play, play and play. We'd be on our cycles going round and round, or racing, especially down the slope. Sometimes we'd play hide-and-seek, or robbers and police, on our cycles. We had the whole campus to play in! Sheer bliss!! Summer meant endless glasses of lemonade or orangeade ice cubes, or when we grew older, iced tea. Sometimes, the big garden tank would be filled with water and we were allowed to jump and play in it. How many games we invented!!! Later when we shifted to the duplex, we used to sleep on the terrace. The terrace used to be flooded and we would wade through the water to get to our beds! what fun. We thought we were in gondolas and wove all kinds of fantasies around our beds. Dinner was always out on the small lawn on the side of the house. The vegetable garden at the back had the most wonderful fruit trees. Bliss to just pluck the fruits and eat them. It was slurping on juicy mangoes, and planting the seeds. It was also gorging on wood apple, mulberries, pummelos and grapefruits. If we managed to steal a raw mango, then it meant smuggling some chilli powder and salt from the kitchen, and eating the mango with this mix, eyes and nose streaming... The fruit trees were ideal too for climbing up and settling down with our story books, completely lost, till someone yelled at us to go inside. Sometimes we'd imagine we were living the Swiss Family Robinson life! I can still get the smell of mint! so much of it used to grow near the tank. Predominant among the flowers were the ginger lilies and gardenia. Wonderful, wonderful flowers. I always wondered how in the hot summer, the brightest flowers bloomed - gul mohur, yellow acacia, flame of the forest. We'd use the stamens from a red flower (I'm not sure of the name) to have fights. There would be only these gorgeous red flowers on the tree - hardly any leaves. The stamens had long curved stems with round heads, and we used to curve the stems of our stamens around the stems of our 'enemy's' stamens, and try to yank off the head! of course the one who managed the most be-headings was the winner! or we'd use the petals of another flower (don't know the mane, but they hang down in colorful bunches), to stick onto our nails. For that game, we'd be fashionable ladies! It was the only time we expected chauvinism from our brothers. The rest of the time we expected to be a part of all games! Sometimes we'd fix up a little space in the garage and pretend it was in turns a school, a home, a cave, or just somewhere we could hide when we had our squabbles! There'd be times when we enacted all the Enid Blyton stories we could. Happy, carefree, summer days!!
16 April 2010
Randomly thinking...
Just struck me that if I was a child of the Universe, then all that is in the Universe is made of the same elements that I am made of. So, if I feel hot, surely the trees, flowers, earth, animals, birds, insects, stones, air...everything... is feeling the heat as well...
15 April 2010
Lessons from a seagull..............
Seagulls are, according to Wikipedia, ' ground nesting carnivores, which will take live food or scavenge opportunistically.' True, but sounds rather violent, and doesn't quite match the image above. This gentle looking bird standing so peacefully on this rock can hardly be credited with being an opportunistic bird. And yet, it is. Some more information on the seagull - - they live on the coast and hardly ever venture out to the high seas
- they live in large, noisy colonies
- they are ingenious, investigative, and very intelligent
- they are communicative
- they have a well-developed social structure
- they are smart enough to use bait to catch fish
- they even resort to kleptoparasitism! as is seen when they unhesitatingly prey on live whales and as the whale surfaces to eat its catch, the gulls grab the flesh
- some species of gulls have learnt to live quite peacefully with humans
- are very rarely adventurous, preferring to stay in the known areas
- live in large noisy colonies made up of our caste, and social structure
- can be very resourceful, are quite curious and intelligent
- are extremely communicative
- can be quite amoral
- while SOME people can live peacefully with other people, there are others who cannot and will not
- There's got to be more to life than fighting for fish heads! How true. There has to be more to life and there is. We need to release our inhibitions, fears, and prejudices, as well as all our previously learnt knowledge to be able to savor and enjoy life. Jonathan wasn't as much interested in eating as he was in flying and learning all there was about flying. Gulls believed that they needed to fly only to get their food, Jonathan loved flying. This is our challenge too. If we think that we are on this earth only to eat, and do only what is required to attain this end, then we are not living. We are not fulfilling our real purpose on earth.
- We CAN lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free. We have to learn and learn and learn. Whatever be our source, there is always a lesson that needs to be learnt, has to be learnt. Many of our own fears are born out of ignorance. And, ignorance is darkness. Once we can pierce that darkness with the light of knowledge, we WILL experience freedom - from all our so-called, perceived limitations.
- Boredom and fear and anger are the reasons that gull’s life is so short and with these gone from his thought, he lived a long fine life indeed. We too are crippled by these three things: boredom, fear and anger. We allow these to govern us and make our lives short and miserable. Best is that, very often, we put ourselves in these positions. If we can battle these and eliminate them (it isn't easy, but it is possible with hard work. And anyway, who said anything good came easy?), our lives will indeed be fine ones.
- It isn’t flying a thousand miles an hour, or a million, or flying at the speed of light. Because any number is a limit, and perfection doesn’t have limits. How often we restrict ourselves with random thoughts that flit through our minds. Buddha says that we must never take our mind seriously, because it misleads us, limits us. Unless we push our minds outwards, how will we know what we can do?
- Each of us is in truth an idea of the Great Gull, an unlimited idea of freedom. Something we need to keep reciting to ourselves till we believe in it. And mind you there is no age for this--you might be a 16, 35, 58, 72, or 90. You can decide at any time that you are most certainly an unlimited idea of freedom. It will so totally release you.......
- To Maynard Gull, a gull born with a short wing, Jonathan said: "you have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way.It is the Law of the Great Gull, the Law that Is.” And when Maynard asks, "Are you saying I can fly?” Jonathan replies,“I say you are free.” See, we DO have what it takes to extricate and liberate us from the shackles that society, family and our own limited knowledge bind us with. All we have to do is to question these shackles. They will fall off automatically.
- It is right for a gull to fly, freedom is the very nature of his being, and whatever stands against that freedom must be set aside, be it ritual or superstition or limitation in any form. Freedom is the nature of our being too. We need to work towards overcoming our limitations, steadfastly, determinedly and patiently. We need to trash all superstition and all ritualism.
- To fly as fast as thought to anywhere that is now - you begin by knowing that you have already arrived...Knowing and believing, that we have arrived at that state of freedom. Just banish, forcefully if necessary, all doubts and thoughts that are to the contrary.
- Your whole body, from wingtip to wingtip, is nothing more than your thought itself, in a form you can see. Break the chains of your thought, and you break the chains of your body, too ... What an exquisite thought! Something, really, to work for and toward.
- We choose our next world through what we learn in this one.The only thing we take away with us when we finally leave this earth is our knowledge. Knowledge is also the only way we can break our karma. It is the only cause that offers a wonderful effect. How important, then, to spend our energy in learning how to be free.
P.S. The movie is awesome!!!
13 April 2010
It is only those who are defeated or aging who look back
What a powerful statement this is. I read it recently in The Far Pavilions, a book I must have read at least 5 times! Thing is, every time I read The Far Pavilions, I learn something new. This time, this statement caught me. And it is answering a lot of my musings and unspoken questions. Just like I wish we had learnt a whole lot of things which are so germane to happy living, I wish we had learnt how to grow old. I'll qualify that: how to grow old gracefully; How to give up the things of youth gracefully; How to accept the counsel of the years; and very, very importantly, how not to look back and sigh...if only...sigh...
Some of us do not have completely happy pasts. We may have been the victims of wrong decisions taken by those, in our lives, who were older and wiser; or we may have been the victims of unfortunate and unhappy circumstances; or we may have been guided wrongly; or not guided at all. As a result, we fell back on our inexperienced and unformed minds. We took decisions, acted on them, and behaved in a manner that, in hindsight, was totally wrong and completely avoidable. We made huge mistakes. But, what is the use of grieving for those days? They're gone...
Some of us might have blemished pasts. Blemishes caused because we did not know better, and thought that how we were, was the right way to be, and that what we were doing, was the right way of doing things. Life has a way of setting people right, and putting them on the right track. But, it can be very painful. Fact is, though, that this does happen. And we have gone through such times. Once again, looking back becomes a source of painful regret. However, what can be done now?
And for some of us, the present is awful. The past was wonderful. Here again, it is completely unwise to cling to happy memories and re-re-and-re-live happy incidents of the past. We have to release these strings too, for the simple reason, we are in the NOW and have to have our wits about us to convert what we see and know to be unhappy now, into happiness.
The whole secret, to my mind, lies in being conscious of the present. To live fully in the NOW. Then it becomes easier to handle all that comes into our lives as happy challenges.
What is the point of harking back, anyway? of thinking back? We cannot change any 1 single thing. The trouble is, that when we look back at those times, with the wisdom gained over the years through blood and tears, we wish it hadn't been so. We could have done things in a better way. We would have handled issues differently. Today, we know, and we have proper solutions. But we did not know then, remember? So, first things first - we have to be kind to ourselves and forgive ourselves. Love ourselves unconditionally as we would our best friend. There is, often, the feeling of frustration that we cannot go back and re-write the past. It seems so very,very difficult to accept the past as something that has happened, and which is over. But, this is the only, the absolutely only way we can live fully in the present. It's happened, it's happened. We have to release the hold the past has over us: release the good, the bad and the ugly. Let it go. Release the strings. We are here in the NOW, and we must not add to our list of unhappy 'pasts' or create unhappy pasts, by spoiling the here and now that we are in.
Accepting the limitations that age puts on us is another great challenge. Here again there are some of us who feel young at heart, and strain against the limits placed by age. Of course, it is very, very important to feel young at heart, because ONLY then can we enjoy all that life throws up. We need to take an interest in all that is happening around us, and in the world at large. We also need to derive great pleasure in the small, special world around us - in all the little and big things that take place in our world. We HAVE to acquire interests, no matter how it looks to others. We are at a stage when it really doesn't matter what anybody thinks, or how they react. But, we also need to understand and appreciate the limits placed on us by age. Our mental-emotional-psychological age has to match our physical age. We have to grow and learn to be attractive at the age we are and not be a 90-going-on-16 phenomenon!
And there are some of us who, because we are getting on in years, or have got on in years, and may or may not be ailing, spread gloom and doom all around. We have nothing good to say about anything or anyone. It is just criticism, cynicism, carping and disapproval. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh this is one behavior that is to be avoided like the plague.
We have to just live in the present. Be grateful for every day and every moment. Remember, we are looking at everything from a vantage point!We must NEVER EVER EVER MORALIZE AND MAINTAIN THE MORAL HIGH GROUND. Just learn to let the young find their own way around. Only, give them the assurance that we are there, just in case they need us... and if they don't, we would, I'm sure, forever gain their appreciation for not having butted in, especially when not required. Hugh Prather says, '...now is all there is of my life.' If we think of our life in terms of the Nows that go into making our life, there will be time only for happy things and happy times, peaceful times, serene moments. We don't have to spend it in trying to right the wrongs of the world, or the wrongs done to us. We just have to spend our time learning to be more tolerant and compassionate and happy.
we only need to remember to laugh, laugh and laugh. Look and learn from the Dalai Lama. How often his eyes crinkle up, his face breaks into a smile, and out comes a compassionate, non-judgmental, all-accepting, all-embracing laugh.
Also, we must never go: WHEN I WAS YOUNG.... That is the worst possible thing we can do. Reminisce, if we must, only with those who are our age. Never with the young. Blessed, indeed, are those of us who have put the past very firmly behind.
That was a looooooonnnnnggggggggg ramble!!!
Some of us do not have completely happy pasts. We may have been the victims of wrong decisions taken by those, in our lives, who were older and wiser; or we may have been the victims of unfortunate and unhappy circumstances; or we may have been guided wrongly; or not guided at all. As a result, we fell back on our inexperienced and unformed minds. We took decisions, acted on them, and behaved in a manner that, in hindsight, was totally wrong and completely avoidable. We made huge mistakes. But, what is the use of grieving for those days? They're gone...
Some of us might have blemished pasts. Blemishes caused because we did not know better, and thought that how we were, was the right way to be, and that what we were doing, was the right way of doing things. Life has a way of setting people right, and putting them on the right track. But, it can be very painful. Fact is, though, that this does happen. And we have gone through such times. Once again, looking back becomes a source of painful regret. However, what can be done now?
And for some of us, the present is awful. The past was wonderful. Here again, it is completely unwise to cling to happy memories and re-re-and-re-live happy incidents of the past. We have to release these strings too, for the simple reason, we are in the NOW and have to have our wits about us to convert what we see and know to be unhappy now, into happiness.
The whole secret, to my mind, lies in being conscious of the present. To live fully in the NOW. Then it becomes easier to handle all that comes into our lives as happy challenges.
What is the point of harking back, anyway? of thinking back? We cannot change any 1 single thing. The trouble is, that when we look back at those times, with the wisdom gained over the years through blood and tears, we wish it hadn't been so. We could have done things in a better way. We would have handled issues differently. Today, we know, and we have proper solutions. But we did not know then, remember? So, first things first - we have to be kind to ourselves and forgive ourselves. Love ourselves unconditionally as we would our best friend. There is, often, the feeling of frustration that we cannot go back and re-write the past. It seems so very,very difficult to accept the past as something that has happened, and which is over. But, this is the only, the absolutely only way we can live fully in the present. It's happened, it's happened. We have to release the hold the past has over us: release the good, the bad and the ugly. Let it go. Release the strings. We are here in the NOW, and we must not add to our list of unhappy 'pasts' or create unhappy pasts, by spoiling the here and now that we are in.
Accepting the limitations that age puts on us is another great challenge. Here again there are some of us who feel young at heart, and strain against the limits placed by age. Of course, it is very, very important to feel young at heart, because ONLY then can we enjoy all that life throws up. We need to take an interest in all that is happening around us, and in the world at large. We also need to derive great pleasure in the small, special world around us - in all the little and big things that take place in our world. We HAVE to acquire interests, no matter how it looks to others. We are at a stage when it really doesn't matter what anybody thinks, or how they react. But, we also need to understand and appreciate the limits placed on us by age. Our mental-emotional-psychological age has to match our physical age. We have to grow and learn to be attractive at the age we are and not be a 90-going-on-16 phenomenon!
And there are some of us who, because we are getting on in years, or have got on in years, and may or may not be ailing, spread gloom and doom all around. We have nothing good to say about anything or anyone. It is just criticism, cynicism, carping and disapproval. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh this is one behavior that is to be avoided like the plague.
We have to just live in the present. Be grateful for every day and every moment. Remember, we are looking at everything from a vantage point!We must NEVER EVER EVER MORALIZE AND MAINTAIN THE MORAL HIGH GROUND. Just learn to let the young find their own way around. Only, give them the assurance that we are there, just in case they need us... and if they don't, we would, I'm sure, forever gain their appreciation for not having butted in, especially when not required. Hugh Prather says, '...now is all there is of my life.' If we think of our life in terms of the Nows that go into making our life, there will be time only for happy things and happy times, peaceful times, serene moments. We don't have to spend it in trying to right the wrongs of the world, or the wrongs done to us. We just have to spend our time learning to be more tolerant and compassionate and happy.
we only need to remember to laugh, laugh and laugh. Look and learn from the Dalai Lama. How often his eyes crinkle up, his face breaks into a smile, and out comes a compassionate, non-judgmental, all-accepting, all-embracing laugh.
That was a looooooonnnnnggggggggg ramble!!!
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