This is something which comes home to me again and again - the importance of communication. And yet, this is such a hard thing to do, because there are shades and shades of communication. Communication varies from relationship to relationship, and it is important to know the difference between different relationships. Of course the ground rule is that communication should be direct, clear and complete. Any kind of ambiguity or leaving things unsaid, can cause huge misunderstandings, and even pain. Tone matters too, because the best communication in the world can get spoilt if the tone is not right - and tone depends on feelings. Which means that the feelings have to be right. The thinking has to be right. Which goes back to the indisputable fact that there has to be total conjunction between mind and heart. if there is a difference in their alignment, the communication comes across as false and maybe painful.
However, what I wanted to share was the communication of the pilot of the Spice Jet plane we travelled in from Bombay to Calcutta. Captain Paulson was the commander of the plane. During the flight he communicated with the passengers--telling us about the height at which the plane was flying, etc-----the usual announcements that a pilot makes. Only, Captain Paulson's announcements were clear, and distinct. He made the experience of flying real and he made the passengers feel good for having chosen Spice Jet. The only other pilot I can remember who had the same effect was Captain Bobby of an Air Lanka flight that we had been on many years ago from Muscat to Madras via Colombo. They might have been doing their job, but they did it in a manner that it made a difference....
Of course at times, it would be better not to communicate--to just be silent. If another heart hears the heartbeat of that silence, it makes for a wonderfully warm feeling. If that doesn't happen, if another cannot hear your heartbeat, let the silence cover the hurt and heal from within. As someone once told me long years ago, words can create wounds that take ages to heal and often leave painful scars, unlike broken bones that can be set right away.