3 mistakes…

we commonly make:

1. Mistake information for knowledge

2. Mistake connections for relationships 

3. Mistake convenience for happiness

1. Mistake information for knowledge - Knowledge involves listening, and knowledge involves the interpretation of information. Our brain is at work processing the information it receives in order to choose and sift so that we can discard the information we do not want and store the information which is meaningful for us.

2. Mistake connections for relationships - A connection is something superficial. It can be made with a click of the mouse on Facebook or Twitter or any of the social network platforms. A connection has no rules, no commitment, no expectation. A connection can be ‘unfollowed’ at any time. A relationship needs commitment, needs time, needs sharing, must be reciprocal, and is multilayered. Since it is an entwining of hearts and minds, breaking a relationship is not easy and involves a great deal of pain and suffering. 

3. Mistake convenience for happiness. Conveniences are bought or arranged to make life comfortable. Soon, we see we need more conveniences, and more perfect conveniences to make life easier and better. The pleasure that conveniences give us is transitory and does not give us either a sense of fulfilment or completeness. There is always something lacking. Happiness, on the other hand is the change that happens to our internal landscape. Our brain, heart, senses are all at work interpreting what we see, hear, and experience. Internally we are learning, absorbing, and making choices in keeping with what we believe will bring us peace and happiness…a feeling of quietness and contentment. Further, life teaches us from a very young age that there is no such thing as perfection. We are a part of the universe, and the universe is ever-changing, ever-evolving, and ever-growing.

Two powerful movies…

Soni and Meel Pathar (Milestone).

Both are beautifully crafted films, directed by Ivan Ayr. Like all sensitive films, these have to be seen at least twice to be understood and fully appreciated. I just loved them. Though they are in a Punjabi-Hindi mix, they are dubbed in English. What I really liked about the films is Ayr’s portrayal of the characters. Just beautiful. Very realistic, but there is nothing demeaning or degrading about the way he has shown the characters. They don’t seem to be acting…it’s as if the actors are really living their roles. The characters come alive and one feels one is right there with them. And I loved this. Lots to learn…

Immigration…

This report shook me out of my ignorance/unawareness:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-62893926.amp

Indians, especially from the North, are desperate to get out of the country. Statistics show a huge increase — from less than 2000 in 2014 to more than 16,000 in 2022. I just cannot get my head around this somehow… Only those who are desperately unhappy will want to leave their own soil. I’m not talking about those who are privileged…they have choices and the option to make choices. They can go where they will. These are the poor…they have no options, no choices in this land to which they belong. What a terrible feeling of desolation they must have…and what kind of a country is this that people of the soil should feel that anywhere is better than here. The worst is that so many of migrants die along the way….they suffer so many frightful situations, not to mention the fear which must be eating into their very soul. They have to cope with loss of money, most often all that they have saved, loss of loved ones along the way, loss of self-respect, and finally the fear of loss of their own lives. And there is the constant unspoken fear of what they will do if and when they are allowed entry into another country, or, in case they are not allowed in, then what…? Bartering everything for a tiny place in the sun… it takes a long time, sometimes generations, for the fear to abate…

While one reason for this choice is economic, most are fleeing their own roots, their own country for something which is absolutely unpardonable—discrimmination. Many have given persecution as their reason to flee this country…persecution because they are Muslims, Christians, ‘low caste’ Hindus, and members of the LGBTQ communities. In any country, and especially a land as diverse as India, there are so many man-made divisions, but, no matter the lines on which these divisions are made, the fact is that all of these are human beings first and last. All differences are merely superficial. And the land they belong to, the soil on which they are born, is for them as much as it is for those who don’t fall into these categories. True, some have more, and some have less, but everyone has something. Most importantly there is the sense of belonging to one land. If that sense of belonging to the land is taken away, then what is left? To start all over in another land is traumatic to say the least, and then to establish themselves no matter how flimsily, demands a price that cannot even begin to be estimated… just too too sad. Unbelievably so. I know it is a foolish thing to ask, maybe even puerile…is there noone responsible for these people? Noone they can turn to or appeal to? 

Don’t just be a bystander…

What is happening in Iran can and will happen in every country in the world. It may take a different form but happen it will. The issue is not just the hijab. It is the question of freedom. The freedom to choose. The freedom to be. Technology has very effectively broken all barriers. How, then, can we remain as islands? Girls-women all over the world are identifying themselves with their sisters-daughters-mothers in Iran. Today it is them. Tomorrow it will be us. The girl child-woman is not willing to be an appendage any more. Our minds, our personalities, our hearts have to be recognised as having an equal place in our world. It is OUR world, not exclusively a man’s world where he has let women live. NO. It is OUR world. We have an equal place in it. 

The one really heartening thing is that men-boys have joined hands with the women-girls in the shout for azaadi, in Iran. And we all will too. We WILL stand by the women of Iran because their fight for azaadi is our fight too. 

The greatest gift that can be given to a human being, the greatest respect that can be shown to a human being, is that of freedom. Each one of us, regardless of any physial differences, has to be given this gift, this respect. In a world where there are no lines of demarcation between countries, we as a people need to stand together, equal and strong and human, to confront human issues of all people, without any differentiation or discrimination.  

Our world is not gender specific. Women should not have to fight for freedom….it is something which should be automatically ours. Women the world over, standing by each other, will be heard. The time for silencing us is over…

In the words of Benjamin Franklin: Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are. 

Bishen Singh Bedi, Intikhab Alam and some jazz…

This is such a beautiful incident I just had to share it. For me, a child of the Partition and born in newly-minted India, Pakistan has a special place in my heart. Sikhs, too, are my absolute favourite people. 

One has only heard of how a game unites people but here, check this out:

https://indianexpress.com/article/sports/cricket/borders-blur-in-kartarpur-as-bedi-intikhab-catch-up-over-some-jazz-8192135/

To say it is amazing is to say less…..love remains through age, through borders, through every man-made obstacle….the passage of time does not diminish the feelings even one tiny bit…

We tend to randomly…

talk about race and ethnicity, trying to put human beings into boxes so that we can better understand them. 

As we know it, race refers to the concept of dividing people into groups on the basis of various sets of physical characteristics. Ethnicity, on the other hand, describes the culture of people in a given geographic region including their language, heritage, religion, and customs. 

In recent years, both of these definitions have been disproved. There is nothing in the genomes of individuals that could be used to separate them along clear racial lines i.e., variations in human experience do not equate to genetic difference. 

Thus, while both are portrayed as ways to understand human diversity, in reality they also wield power as agents of division. The unassailable fact, however, is that these two don’t reflect any scientific truths…

Do the prejudices…

we grew up with remain and calcify as we grow older? This is a question that came up when discussing issues that tend to poke at and periodically trouble our minds, especially when thinking about choices that impact or might impact our lives. I realized that if we are not careful, things we heard when growing up right into adulthood have a way of creeping in and influencing our decisions about our friends, including the choice of our life partner, the educational institutions we choose to go to, our jobs, and the places we choose to work in and live in. Some of these may be useful, some may be pointers, some may be red rags, some may be detrimental, some may be downright stumbling blocks. Very, very necessary, therefore, to examine each one of these prejudices and push them right out of our heads, if necessary, or tweak them if need be. But, difficult as it maybe, and often it is so, we need to do this…it’s imperative we do this for ourselves…

The concept of personal space…

It happens to everyone…we get so immersed in the business of daily living that we become our last priority. Our space becomes the most neglected. And yet, all we need is half an hour to connect with our inner space. This half hour has to be uninterrupted and undisturbed. We need to physically just shut down and enter into our inner sanctum…the space that belongs exclusively to us…This time out has no activity in it…no cramming in exercising or shopping, even if it is for ourself. This time out is to sit and relax or try to sit and relax with a cup of tea, or coffee, or a drink…Choose your own time…use it to review things, or think unfinished thoughts through, or just let the mind wander where it will. Of course there is a lot that pulls and tugs at the mind. And this happens at each stage of our lives. The demands are different, but they are demands nevertheless, and negotiating time away from them is a challenge. But, it is a challenge we have to fight and conquer to save ourselves. It is terrible to grow older with our hearts and mind in pieces, troubled, depressed, stressed out. Growing older is not easy and it would be infinitely more bearable if we grew older with dignity. This can happen only if there is peace in our mind. And this can happen only if we create our own space and spend time in that space every day…

(I learnt a lot of this from Shobha Dés book, Seventy…and to hell with it).